


I Want To Fall In Love (With The Stars In Your Eyes)

by not_a_total_basket_case



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Drinking, Drinking Games, Drunken Kissing, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Getting Back Together, Halloween, Humour, I'm wondering if this should be rated m, Jealousy, Kid Fic, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, New Rules, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Several One Shots, Sharing a Bed, So much kissing, Social Media, Swearing, They both suck, actually, let me know, like three in a row, sort of B99 inspired?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-01-18 06:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 43,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12382407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_a_total_basket_case/pseuds/not_a_total_basket_case
Summary: This is going to be a whole bunch of relatively short one-shots/drabbles. Probably, but not definitely, going to be all Bellarke. Also they'll probably all be modern day.xviii) Bellarke + "If I kiss you now, I won't be able to stop."xix) Clarke steals Bellamy's clothes because she never does her laundry.xx) Bellarke + hold my handxxi) Clarke and Bellamy have a fight.xxii) Bellarke + platonic bed sharingxxiii) Bellamy returns from space and wonders why Clarke is distant





	1. Contents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Table of contents!  
> (also, roman numerals are great, okay?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are the happiness in my heart and the sunshine in my soul!
> 
>    
> Feel free to send me prompts on Tumblr and I'll try and do them all! [Writing Is Ruining My Life](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/) or [ Raven Reyes of sunshine](https://raven-reyes-of-sunshine.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Just be aware, the first few I wrote very early on in my fic writing days, they get better as they!

I apologise if this is wrong, something happened and everything got mixed up? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

i)  _There's a storm coming_

Clarke invites Bellamy over because she's scared of the storm

 

ii)  _Kiss me, quick_

Clarke asks Bellamy to kiss her because a sleazy guy won't let her alone.

 

iii)  _I blocked your number_

Bellarke break up because Clarke thinks Bellamy is cheating on her

 

iv)  _Baby changes everything_

Bellamy finds out he has a daughter. Clarke finds out she's in love with him. 

 

v) _Mac and cheese and books_

Bellarke are coworkers and Bellamy has the wrong first impression.

  

vi)  _No one's even gonna hurt you, love_

Clarke has a son and Bellamy has feelings for her. 

 

vii)  _It was only just a dream_

Clarke dreams of Bellamy

 

viii)  _New Rules_

Clarke has 'New Rules' when it comes to Bellamy and Raven makes sure she follows them. 

 

ix)  _Mum and Dad's favourite delinquents_

Octavia is furious that Clarke and Bellamy are going on a double date and not dating each other _. _Social Media AU. Heads up, this is basically ridiculous__

 

x)  _And a happy new year_

Clarke doesn't realise she's in love with Bellamy until he gets a girlfriend. 

 

xi)  _All I want for Christmas is you_

The Delinquents host a Secret Santa and Clarke has to find the perfect gift for Bellamy.

 

xii)  _Start your year right_

Clarke decides to make her move on Bellamy at a New Years party 

 

xiii) _We should be more than friends_

Bellamy and Clarke have managed to keep the fact they are sleeping together a secret for three months. Octavia manages to figure it out in one night. 

 

xiv)  _Undercover_

Clarke goes undercover and tells Bellamy her feelings before she leaves. Loosely based on one scene of Brooklyn 99.

 

xv)  _Everybody let's take shots_

Clarke and Bellamy kiss while drunk. Bellamy assumes she doesn't remember.

 

xvi)  _Promise I'll be the cure_

Bellarke + Clarke gets really sick. Anon tumblr prompt.

 

xvii)  _Test my reality_

Bellarke + "Have you ever wanted to just kiss someone?"  

  
xix)  _Operation; GCGL_

Bellarke + "If I kiss you now, I won't be able to stop."

  
xix)  _But your clothes say different on my bedroom floor_

Clarke steals Bellamy's clothes because she never does her laundry. 

 

xx) _There’s no such as ghosts_

Bellarke + hold my hand

 

xxi)  _Fight for you_

Bellamy and Clarke have a fight. 

 

xxii)  _What, pray tell, the fuck_

Bellarke + platonic bed sharing 

 

xxiii)  _Where have you been?_

Bellamy returns from space and wonders why Clarke is distant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are the happiness in my heart and the sunshine in my soul!
> 
>    
> Feel free to send me prompts on Tumblr and I'll try and do them all! [Writing Is Ruining My Life](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/) or [ Raven Reyes of Sunshine](https://raven-reyes-of-sunshine.tumblr.com/)


	2. There's a storm coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke asks Bellamy to come over because she is scared of the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I wrote this because my power is out because of a storm and my fence has blown over, which meant I had to chase my tiny dog down the street in the rain.)
> 
> Feel free to send me prompts on Tumblr and I'll try and do them all! [Writing Is Ruining My Life](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/) or [ My name mess, here](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/)

“Bellamy, can you come over?” Clarke’s asks, her voice staticky through the phone. Bellamy scowls. It’s storming outside, it hasn’t stopped since he woke up this morning. He’d called in to say he wasn’t coming to work to avoid driving.

“Have you looked outside?” He asks sarcastically.

“I _am_ outside.” She whines. That explains the loud, crackling sounds he can hear coming through the phone.

“What the fuck, Clarke?” He mutters, already putting his boots on and looking around his warm and dry apartment for his keys.

“My fence has blown over and I came out to check what happened and I didn’t grab my keys and the door blew shut behind me.” She mumbles and he can practically see her cheeks going red. She  _hates_ needing to be rescued.

“I’m on my way.” He says, deciding he doesn’t need to tease her about locking herself out yet. He’ll make sure she is safe first.

He grabs the key ring that holds a key to each of his friends homes. After a unanimous vote, he had been deemed the most responsible and given a key by everyone. They’d all grumbled about it, saying they were old enough to not lock themselves out. But the joke is on them, he’s had to let them all in at least twice and Jasper at least once a week.

He would go let any of them inside during a storm, but he wouldn’t do it happily unless it was Clarke. She’s his best, his partner and the girl he has been in love with for the better part of two years.

Clarke lives about seven minutes away on a good day, but tonight it takes him closer to fifteen. The rain is coming down in sheets and the wind is trying to blow his car off the road. He knows he needs new tyres and right now he’s regretting his decision to wait.

Finally he pulls into her driveway and sighs. The fence on the left side of her house hasn't just come down. It’s been ripped out of the ground and it’s not something he can fix right now. Maybe not even when the wind dies down.

Clarke is sitting on her front porch, hardly sheltered from the rain and is holding her tiny dog beneath her jacket. Her hair is plastered to her face and he can tell she is shivering before he even gets out of the car. From the way her face looks, Bellamy thinks she is probably crying, but it’s impossible to tell with how much rain is dripping down her face.

“You’re a mess.” He calls, jogging to unlock the front door. Clarke’s key is pink, so it’s easy to get it into the lock and they both push into the slightly warmer house. She puts Monster on the floor, where he immediately shakes himself off and starts tearing around the living room. Naming such a tiny dog Monster seemed like a bad idea, until he destroyed three pairs of Bellamy's shoes in a week. 

“You okay?” He asks softly.

“Not really.” She mumbles, trembling still. He lets himself push a lock of her hair off her face because he has no self-control and it’s sort of hanging in her eye.

“What’s up?” He asks. He can tell it goes deeper than losing her fence. He knows her.

“I just had the shittest day. Cage Wallace was hitting on me all afternoon, I dealt with the rudest clients and all I wanted to do was come home and have a bath and drink some wine and relax and then my fence blew over and I got locked out and Monster wouldn’t come back, so I had to chase him down the street in the rain.” She huffs out, speaking really quickly. She’s got tears in her eyes again, which probably just come down to exhaustion, but still. He doesn’t like seeing her upset.

“Go have a bath. I’ll make something for dinner and find you some wine.” He tells her, gently pushing her towards the bathroom.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?”

“Nah, Clarke. I got you.” He says. The relief in her eyes is evident and he briefly remembers a very drunk game of ‘Truth’ where she had confessed her fear of storms.

“You’re the best.” She tells him, standing on her toes to press a light kiss to his cheek. He doesn’t let himself overthink it. Clarke has made it clear that she isn’t interested in anything more than friendship with him. She’s just all casual affection. She’s like this with everyone.

Bellamy tries not to think of the time that she had sworn on her life that she couldn’t think of anything worse than dating Bellamy as he puts a pot of pasta on the stove. He doesn’t think about the times that she had told their friends that Bellamy was simply her best friend as he lights the candles around her house in case the power goes out. He definitely keeps his thoughts away from all the times she’s gotten drunk and lamented that she couldn’t get through life without his friendship as he digs for wine glasses in the back of her cupboards.

He hears her climbing out of the bath (he’s not listening, the bathroom door is just so close to the lounge he’s sitting in) at the same time the power fails. He hears a slight thump and then her curse.

“Here.” Bellamy calls, switching the light on his phone on and sliding it under the door. She mutters her thanks and serves up the meal that has just finished. He only just registers what it looks like when Clarke steps out of the bathroom and gasps. He’s got the meal for two set up on the table, accompanied with glasses of wine and about five thousand candles (Clarke loves candles, okay?).

“This looks amazing, Bellamy.” Clarke says, sliding into the table and taking a sip of wine. She has his favourite half smile on her face and her hair pulled back in a bun on top of her head. He likes all her looks, but this one is probably his favourite. 

“Right. I figured I better have the candles ready in case the power went off.” He mumbles, taking his seat next to her and ducking his head to hide his blush.

“Of course.” They talk about mundane things as they eat, making jokes about their friends, wondering what to do about her fence and pretending she doesn’t jump at every clap of thunder.

They end up on her couch, watching a movie on her laptop. It’s only on 30% so Bellamy is sure they’re not going to finish it, but he can’t bring himself to care. Clarke is curled up against him, as protection from both the cold and the storm that is still raging outside.

“I hate thunder.” She mutters after a particularly bright flash of lighting, followed by a loud clap of thunder.

“It’s just the hot air exploding.” Bellamy explains, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“I know that.” She tells him, rolling her eyes. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

“I used to tell Octavia that is was the Greek Gods having battles in the sky. We made stories to go with it. She was never scared after that.”

“You’re a good brother. She’s lucky to have you.” Bellamy shrugs at this. He sucks at getting compliments and considering Octavia is currently not talking to him, he doesn’t think he’s such a good brother. (Admittedly, punching Lincoln was probably a bad idea. He should really work through his issues without violence.)

Just as the movie is getting good, the laptop dies. Clarke huffs, slamming the lid shut.

“What’s the plan now, princess?” He asks. It’s a little after eight, too early to go to sleep but too late to drive home in this weather. Clarke doesn’t say anything for a moment, but looks up at him through her lashes. For a moment, his heart stops because it feels like she is going to kiss him. He brain fails when she does. He freezes, unable to remember how to move, because _holy shit,_ Clarke Griffin is kissing him.

She pulls away before he catches up with what’s happening and he manages to wrap his arms around her before she disentangles herself completely.

“Clarke.” He whispers, not sure what he’s going to say. He’s all to aware they’ve finished the bottle of wine and there has been more than one occasion where she’s had casual sex out of boredom. “Wait-”

“Sorry. I guess I misread the situation.” She mutters before he has a chance to finish his sentence. “I just thought, the candles and the cuddling…” She trails off, not making eye contact.

“I just…” Bellamy battles with his emotions for a second, but decides it’s time he tells her the truth. It’s been nearly two years after all. “It’s just, I don’t want this to be a one time thing because we have nothing else to do. I’m – I’m kind of in love with you, Clarke.” The grin she gives him is so fucking bright that he finds himself mirroring her, his heart pounding with possibility.

“I’m kind of in love with you too, idiot.” She says, pulling him down she can kiss him again. This time he’s ready and kisses her back with more force than is strictly necessary and is rewarded when she gasps into his mouth.

“What made you think this would be a one time thing?” She asks when they finally break apart, hitting him lightly in the chest. He would have happily kissed her all night, if it weren’t for Monster jumping onto the couch and yapping. Attention seeking, little shit.

“You always said you weren’t interested.” He tells her honstly.

“And you believed it?” She asks, leaning up to kiss him again.

And yeah, now he thinks about it, it’s pretty fucking obvious how she feels about him.


	3. Kiss me, quick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke asks Bellamy to kiss her, to avoid the advances of a creepy stranger. From the Tumblr prompt 'kiss me, quick.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per my life, it's 2am and I should be asleep because I have to face the world tomorrow! But hey, have this extremely short, very fluffy, one-shot!

“Kiss me, quick.” Clarke says, squeezing into the space between him and the guy he is sitting beside at the bar. He throws the cash for his drink at Miller and turns to face his best friend.

“Excuse me?” He asks, like he hasn’t had this exact fantasy before. Like kissing Clarke isn’t all he’s wanted since he realised that their friendship went beyond the arguments and sniping comments they usually made.

“There is a guy over there, who thinks I’m only saying I have a boyfriend to get rid of him. And while that is true, I feel like he’s the type of guy who isn’t going to leave me alone until he believes I have a boyfriend.” She says, pouting a little. A good way to rile Clarke up is to not accept her word as final. Bellamy had done it a lot in the beginning of their relationship, taking the opposite side on any topic just to start a fight. Octavia called it flirting, Miller called it being a dick. They were both right.

“Clarke.” He says quietly, because knowing what it’s like to kiss her is going to ruin him but he can’t say no. He could go punch the guy in the face, but that’s not what she asked. And he knows he’ll do anything for her.

“Please.” She whispers, putting a hand on his shoulder and leaning in. He knows she’s not drunk. They’ve only been here twenty minutes and he hasn’t even seen her order a drink yet. He glances to the other side of the bar, where she had come from and meets the eyes of a sleazy looking guy who is staring at them. It’s what makes his decision. If the guy over there is creepy enough to make sure that Clarke has a boyfriend, then Bellamy is going to make sure he thinks she does.

“Okay.” He whispers back, looking into her eyes for any kind of hesitation or reluctance. But she’s looking at him with a small smile, like she wants this as much as he does. Which really isn’t fair because once the guy leaves, it’s not going to happen again. And Bellamy is going to be stuck with the memory of Clarke looking at him like that. A memory of kissing her.

She wraps her arms around his neck and tugs him down to her mouth. The kiss is gentle at first, her mouth meeting his softly. Her lips are soft and he finds himself melting into her. She parts his lips with her tongue, deepening the kiss and it’s probably too much for where they are, but neither of them pull apart. Clarke whimpers slightly when he pulls her close and if he was thinking straight he would realise that she isn’t acting and she’s just as into this as he is. Bellamy is lost in the feel of her hands in his hair, her mouth on his and he could stay like this all night. They're pulled back to reality by a pointed cough from Miller as he walks past to serve a customer.

He sighs, tilting his head back and breaking the kiss. The kiss that’s ruined him. Clarke follows him, pressing quick, dry kisses to his lips, before pulling back enough to smile at him.

“Hi.” She says, shyly. He hasn’t heard her sound like that basically ever.

“Hi.” He murmurs, running his hands through his now thoroughly messed up hair.

“So, I think that probably showed him.” She whispers, her hands still around his neck. She’s leaning back so she can look at him and all he wants to do is pull her back and kiss her again.

“Yeah, that will do it.”

“I also… I kind of don’t want to stop doing that.” Clarke says, no longer meeting his eye. He can see her flushing even in the dim light of the bar. And he allows himself to think, that maybe, just maybe, she wants this too.

“Want to keep proving you have a fake boyfriend?” He teases, despite the situation because at least if they’re not on the same page he can play it off as tormenting her. Because that’s what they do. 

“I was kind of hoping for a real boyfriend.” She says quietly, looking up at him through her dark, lashes. This time he can’t help himself. He pulls her back for another kiss that is definitely not appropriate and is still grinning when Miller smacks his hand on the bar in front of them.

“Look, not that I’m not happy that you’ve finally sorted this shit out.” Miller deadpans, glaring at them both. “But I have a crowbar out the back and I will use it to separate you.”

“Don’t worry.” Bellamy says, grinning at Clarke. “We’re leaving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As also is per my norm, comments and kudos are what keeps me writing. If you enjoy it, please let me know <3


	4. I blocked your number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke jumps to conclusions, after seeing Bellamy and Raven together.

Clarke had only been dating Bellamy for about a month when it had happened. She’d walked into the bar, planning on surprising him at work as she had ended up with the night off. Instead, she had walked into him standing in the corner with an armful of none other than Raven Reyes.

She’d instantly felt sick to the stomach. It was bad enough that Bellamy was cheating on her, but it had to be with Raven Reyes. She’s beautiful, of fucking course she is. Clarke doesn’t really know much about her, other than the fact, that for a while before Bellamy, Clarke had been dating Raven’s boyfriend. So, technically, fair enough that Raven would want to get back at her, but Clarke didn’t even know about Raven when she dated Finn.

And seriously, Raven had been in her position. She knew how much it hurts. Fuck that girl, honestly.

Clarke storms out of the bar before Bellamy or Raven see her and heads to the late night diner that Monty works at. She needs a coffee and to rant.

“Whoa. What’s wrong?” Monty asks when Clarke storms in and angrily smacks her purse onto the counter. There is no one else in the diner, so Monty sets to work making her a sundae. They always made her feel better. Especially because Monty adds extra chocolate sauce.

“I just caught Bellamy hooking up with Raven Reyes.” She deadpans, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. She doesn’t want Monty to know how much she is hurting right now.

“What the fuck?” Monty asks furiously, always the supportive friend.

“I went to the bar to surprise him and I saw them.”

“He’s an arsehole.” Monty says, automatic. Clarke groans at that. She knows Monty likes/liked Bellamy. It’s so unfair that it’s their friendship that is about to be ruined, as well as Clarke’s relationship. She knows Monty won’t be friends with someone who cheated on her.

“I’m going to break up with and I’m not going to see him again.” She says, petulant. She takes her phone out of her pocket and types the words that she knows will sting Bellamy the most. _It’s over. Don’t contact me again._ She blocks his number and then blocks him on all social media platforms, for good measure.

She sits with Monty for an hour, moodily shredding napkins and telling him how much she hates Bellamy. It’s not true though, not even a little bit. Up until about seventy minutes ago she felt like what she had with Bellamy was real. It had only been a month but it felt like her forever.

Not even her ice-cream sundae cheers her up.

*

She spends the months following her breakup with Bellamy avoiding any situation that might lead to her running into him or Raven Reyes. This means that she skips Roan’s birthday (‘ _I_ _won’t invite him if you don’t want me too, Clarke.’ ‘I don’t mind, I know he is your friend._ ’), she doesn’t go to the bar with her friends because he’s probably working and she avoids the library on Wednesday and Thursday because she knows those are the days that he will be studying.

Admittedly, she is being a little bit childish, but being cheated on fucking hurts, okay? She’ll get over it eventually and be able to be in the same vicinity as him without wanting to hide. But right now, her bedroom is the safest place to be in. She has no chance of running into people she doesn’t want to see. Namely, Raven Reyes and Bellamy Blake.

She doesn’t really tell anyone other than Monty what had happened. She’s really too embarrassed to try and explain that she was caught up in yet another love triangle. She thinks she’s probably cursed or something. First Lexa, who had gone back to her ex the same day she broke up with Clarke, then Finn, who had a girlfriend who he conveniently forgot to mention and then Bellamy, who had taken her already broken heart and shattered it further.

“It’s time to get out of the house, Clarke.” Maya calls, letting herself into Clarke’s bedroom and opening the curtains. Clarke scowls. She’s been sitting in the dark long enough that the brightness makes her squint.

“I’m good right here.” Clarke tells her friend, looking away from the window.

“Jasper and I are going out tonight. Harper and Monty are coming, so is Luna and a couple of others.” Maya continues as though Clarke hadn’t spoken. “We’re going to a club, no where near the bar Dick-face works.” Clarke smirks at the nickname and after a little more argument, she agrees to come. What are the chances Bellamy will go to a club, the one night she does?

*

Polis is busy, busier than she has ever seen it. She follows Maya and Luna straight to the bar but she only orders lemonade. She’s not in the mood for drinking. She does dance with her friends and paints a fake smile on her face. She is pretty sure she has all friends fooled. That is until she sees the still familiar black curls of Bellamy Blake, sitting at the bar.

“We can go. We don’t need to be here.” Luna says, almost instantly appearing beside Clarke and taking her hand. Clarke is about to agree to running with her, when Bellamy looks up. He sees her, mouth forming into an ‘o’ shape. He takes a few tentative steps towards her, before she turns and runs out of the club. She turns down the first street she finds, collapsing on the curb as soon as she is out of view of Polis. She’s not sure if Luna followed her out or if she lost her in the club. And she'd given Maya her phone to hold on to because she didn't bring a bag.

The concrete is cold on her bare legs but she barely notices it. She’s spent months avoiding Bellamy and he just happens to appear the one night she agrees to go out? It feels like a set up, but she likes to think none of her friends would do that to her.

She feels rather than sees him sit beside her and she makes a show of sighing. She doesn’t know how he found her, but she doesn’t particularly care. All she wants to do is make sure he doesn’t find out how much he still affects her.

“What do you want, Bellamy?” She asks icily.

“I want to know what the fuck happened.” He says, eyebrows shooting up to his hair. He drops onto the curb beside her and leans back on his hands, his arms annoyingly distracting. She can hate him, but still think he's hot, right? “You broke up with me over text message. No explanation. You don’t answer my calls.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I blocked your number.” She says, looking away from him. She doesn’t want to make eye contact. She’s not sure she can hold her composure if she looks at him.

“Why, Clarke? What happened?” He doesn’t sound angry or guilty, just… sad.

“You cheated on me, Bellamy. I saw it!” She cries, hating the way her voice cracks. 

“I – what?” Whatever retort he had, dies on his lips. He looks shocked at the entire accusation, not just that he was caught.

“With Raven Reyes. The night I called it off. At the bar.” She tells him. She’s not falling for this. She’s not _blind,_ she saw what happened. But the he starts to laugh so hard that he’s shaking with it. She glares at him. This isn’t funny. This broke her heart.

“You think I hooked up with Raven?” He asks, still laughing.

“I saw you, Bellamy.” Clarke repeats, finally looking at him. He has tears of laughter coming from his eyes.

“You saw me hugging her. We’ve been friends for years and she’s going to Italy for six months.” Bellamy says before changing his tone completely, “Clarke, I would never do that to you.”

“You didn’t do anything with her?” She asks. Everything in her mind was shifting. Now she really thought about it, all she had seen was Bellamy and Raven, hugging. She’d never seen them do anything. She hadn’t spoken to Bellamy again. She’d never gotten the whole story. Is it possible that he’s telling the truth now?

“Of course not, Clarke. Not only am I really into you, Raven would fucking kill me if I tried. She has a… begrudging respect for you after you punched Finn.”

Clarke finds herself believing him. She knows that she is dramatic and has been known to jump to conclusions without all the facts. It’s not really her best trait. Her anger is dissolving, replaced by scorching embarrassment. She puts her face in her hands and groans. “I’m such an idiot.” She mutters.

“I’m not going to deny it.” Bellamy says gently, nudging her shoulder with his. “But I forgive you. And, I’d be willing… to try again?” There’s hope in his voice and when she looks at him this time, he’s looking at her with a soft smile.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be completely against that.” She whispers, closing the distance between them.

It’s safe to say that Clarke doesn’t make any rash decisions without talking to Bellamy about it first again.


	5. Baby changes everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finds out he has a daughter, Clarke finds out she's in love with him.

Bellamy has been MIA for three days and while it’s not unusual for him to get so caught up in his writing that he doesn’t leave the house – he always replies to his messages eventually. Which is how Clarke finds herself outside his apartment, fist raised to knock but frozen. She can hear a baby crying in there. And last time she checked, Bellamy didn’t even have a significant other, let alone a baby.

“Bellamy?” She shouts, louder than necessary (Clarke is dramatic, okay?) hitting the door with her fist. “Where the hell have you been?”

Bellamy comes to the door a few moments later. He looks like he hasn’t slept in the three days he’s been MIA. His hair, which is normally artfully dishevelled is sticking up at weird angles and he looks like he definitely slept in the shirt he is wearing. Clarke could deal with that, she’d just make him a meal and force him to shower. It’s the infant in his arms that has her taking a step back.

Clarke doesn’t really know much about babies, but the one Bellamy is holding actually looks like him. Down to the messy curls, warm brown eyes and the splattering of freckles across its face. And it’s holding it’s own head up, so it’s not a newborn.

“Please tell me Octavia had a baby and never mentioned it?” Is all Clarke manages to say, even though this baby looks nothing like Bellamy’s sister and everything like him. Octavia is also in California and running a boot camp and self-defence course with Lincoln.

“Surprise?” Bellamy says, without humour.

“Is it yours?” Clarke asks, ignoring the obvious signs that it is his child. She needs it verbally confirmed.

“Yeah. Echo dropped her here. She didn’t want to be a parent. Said I could decide what happens from here and signed away her parental rights.” Bellamy says, glancing down at the child in his arms that has stopped crying but is still sniffing dramatically.

“What are you going to do?” Clarke asks, letting herself into his apartment and pulling the door shut behind her. It doesn’t look much different to normal, but there is a baby bag on the tiny dining table, dishes in bizarre places and at least three onesies thrown haphazardly around the room.

“I’m going to keep her. She’s my kid. I’m not my dad.” Bellamy snaps.

“Hey, I know that. I never said you were.” Clarke says softly. “But this is a lot. What’s her name?”

“Lydia.” Bellamy says, looking at his daughter ( _his daughter, holy shit)_ with so much love that is makes Clarke’s heart hurt. “She’s only six months old.”

“Okay. You’re not in this alone.” Clarke says, reaching for the baby. He hands her over and Clarke shifts Lydia in her arms awkwardly. “Go shower and I’m going to come up with a plan.”

“You can’t plan parenting.” Bellamy responds sarcastically but turns for his bathroom anyway. She has a feeling Bellamy hasn’t showered since finding out her was father.

Clarke sends Raven a message letting her know that she won’t be home tonight because ‘The Bellamy Crisis’ was worse than they had assumed and she was taking it upon herself to fix it. She then loads Bellamy’s laptop and starts a list of things they are going to have to buy if he is going to have a child in his already cramped apartment.

She’s up to ‘ _baby locks - $15’_ when Bellamy finally gets out of the shower, looking substantially more put together than when she had first arrived.

“You got this baby thing down.” Bellamy says, nodding towards Lydia who is biting down on a teething ring she had found on the couch and sitting contently in Clarke’s lap, while she types with one hand.

“I made a shopping list.” She tells him, ignoring his comment and sending the list to his wireless printer in the corner of the room. It comes to life loudly, causing Lydia to jump in Clarke’s lap and start crying. Absentmindedly Clarke rubs soothing circles on her back and bounces her slightly on her knee. Bellamy gives her a weird look and collects the list off the printer.

“I’m glad this has happened now and not while I was in grad school. Babies are expensive.” Bellamy mutters, running a hand through his hair. “You’re going to help me find this stuff right?”

*

They have to take the train to the city because Echo didn’t leave anything expect Lydia and her baby bag. They buy a stroller first, because Lydia might be small but she is heavy. They stock up on clothes and diapers and other essentials at Target and then arrange for a car seat and crib to be delivered to Bellamy’s apartment the next day.

“How did this happen, Bell?” Clarke asks, when they’re sitting in the food court, googling if a six month old should be started on solids yet and picking at a pizza. “Did Echo just not tell you?”

“We slept together once and I never heard from her again.” Bellamy says bitterly, unwrapping one of the new toys they bought and handing it to Lydia. It’s a giraffe that’s supposed to be the best bay toy around. Lydia babbles loudly and shoves the toy in her mouth. “Until she showed up yesterday and handed me Lydia and her birth certificate.”

“Why didn’t she tell you earlier?”

“I didn’t really get a chance to ask her.”

“She should have told you still. You shouldn’t have to ask.” Clarke says perhaps too passionately. Bellamy doesn’t deserve to have this sprung on him with no time to plan. He’s obviously going to be a good father, but most people get at least six months to work things out. If not more. He barely got fifteen minutes.

“To be honest, it could be worse.” He smiles, looking at the little girl who is now smacking her giraffe on the table and squealing with laughter.

*

Clarke really should have realised she was in love Bellamy a long time ago. She’s always known about the crush she had on him, but it was as simple as he was attractive and funny. She’s never really been into guys with kids, but there is something about Bellamy and the way he looks at his daughter that makes her want to be part of it. And that just makes her realise how much she likes – loves – him. She can’t tell him now though. Not when he has so much going on.

So she does the next best thing. She’s _there_ for him. For everything he needs. She comes when he tells their friends about Lydia. Well, when they tell Raven, Miller and Murphy about Lydia. The rest of their friends have kind of dispersed since they finished college.

(“Oh my god. I hate fucking hate Echo.” Raven says, furiously but eyes softening as she looks at Lydia, who is once again chewing on her giraffe.

“Holy shit.” Miller breathes, also staring at Lydia with wide eyes.

“What the fuck.” Murphy mutters. “Although, better you than any of us.”

“Shut the fuck up, Murphy.” Bellamy scowls, “Don’t swear around my kid.”

“I’m sorry. Are you saying you’re not the most responsible?” Murphy asks, eyebrows raised. He’s not wrong. Bellamy has a fulltime job, a clean apartment and he practically raised his sister. If any of them were prepared to have a kid sprung on them, it’s Bellamy.)

She’s with him when Lydia won’t settle at night, when she won’t eat, when she gets an ear infection and nothing but lying on Clarke’s chest will calm her down (she feels pretty smug about that). She’s with him when he can’t cook meals because Lydia doesn’t want to be on the floor. She’s got his back when he just needs to go for a run or to get milk. She’s just there. Spending more time in his apartment then her own.

 

Raven’s definitely noticed. She corners Clarke before she leaves one afternoon. She’s just gotten a message from Bellamy ( _She needs so many things Clarke. I can’t face Target alone again)_ and she wants to get to the apartment quickly so they can get a train instead of a taxi. Raven’s blocking their front door though, leaning on her good leg with her arms crossed over her chest.

“When are you going to tell Bellamy you love him?” Raven asks calmly. Raven has always just assumed that Clarke is into Bellamy and Clarke’s never really bothered denying it. She never realised how right Raven was though.

“When the time is right.” Clarke shrugs. She’s been waiting for the question if she’s honest. Ever since she spent the first night on Bellamy’s couch with a sooky baby.

“You know he loves you back?” Raven asks with the air of someone who is explaining something to a five year old.

“He might.” Clarke agrees because she’s starting to see where Raven has been coming from for the last two years. She’s starting to feel a glimmer of hope when she thinks about Bellamy. Maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way.

“As long as you don’t get your heartbroken, Griffin.” Raven decides, stepping aside to let Clarke through.

“I think I’m good.” Clarke grins, pulling the door shut behind her and half jogging to her car.

It feels like things are going pretty well for her, all things considered. Being a parent has pretty much taken Bellamy out of the dating pool, which means he spends most of his free time with her. Which is nice. And she gets to spend more time with Lydia, who she actually adores.

They’re just leaving Target when they run into Jasper, one of their college friends, who Clarke hasn’t seen for at least two years. He’s grinning hugely and approaching them.

“Go to daddy.” Clarke says, handing Bellamy his daughter and greeting Jasper with a hug.

“Hey guys!” Jasper says, “Who’s this?” He’s looking curiously at Lydia, pulling a face when she makes eye contact. She giggles at him.

“This is Lydia. My daughter.” Bellamy says, adjusting her on his hip so she’s facing Jasper. She no longer has his attention though, she's back to chewing her giraffe.

“Oh my god, I totally knew you guys weren’t far off married with children when we were in college. Wait, are you married? It doesn’t even matter. I bet you’re the best parents. You were totally my college parents. She looks so much like you, Bellamy.” Jasper rambles, so fast that neither Bellamy nor Clarke can interrupt I him.

“Jasper.” Clarke says slowly, when he finally stops for a breath. “I’m not her mum.”

Jasper fumbles for a moment, but picks up the conversation again with less trouble than Clarke expected. It's nice catching up with him, even if he is a bit full on. Eventually his lunch break is over and he has to get back to work, leaving them alone again.

“You kind of are, you know?” Bellamy says, not looking at Clarke, instead focussing intently on the menu that he definitely knows by heart. They eat here all the time.

“Are what?” Clarke asks, glancing at Bellamy. He’s blushing and still not looking at her.

“Her mum.” Bellamy shrugs, going for nonchalance but not quite making it. “You’re there for everything and I can’t – I can’t imagine doing this without you. I wouldn’t want to.”

“I wouldn’t let you do it without me.” She admits, thinking about her conversation with Raven. This would be the time to tell him.

“Seriously, I would have crashed and burned months ago without you. You have no idea how grateful I am that you’re here. That you’re with us.”

“I like how this is.” She says gently, allowing herself to rest her hand on his arm.

“I would change one thing.” He says quietly, finally looking at her.

“What’s that?” She asks, holding her breath as his eyes flick down to her mouth. She smiles as he presses a kiss to her lips. Dry and chaste and a promise of what is to come. 

 _Yeah,_ she thinks as she watches Bellamy and his – their - daughter settle into the booth, _she wouldn’t have this any other way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have totally kept going with this. But I have far too many things on the go at the moment. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are what keeps me writing at 3AM (send help)


	6. Mac and cheese and books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke work together and he has the wrong first impression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt "At least buy me dinner first."

Bellamy Blake has been a manager at Ark Bookstore for four years and in that time he’s always managed to keep his work relationships strictly platonic. It’s not been a problem, been easy even, until Clarke Griffin comes along.

In the first few weeks of her working at the bookstore, Bellamy hates her on principle. She’s studying at Yale, she doesn’t need this job. Mummy and daddy probably pay for everything she asks for, while princess gets her degree. He told her that much on one of his more stressful nights stocking shelves.

“If you must know, my dad died last year and once I told my mum I wasn’t going to keep studying medicine she cut me off. I pay my own way, just as much as you.” Clarke had snapped at him, storming out of the storeroom. Raven, Bellamy’s second in charge (who had been the one to convince him to give Clarke a chance in the first place), gave him a look that simply said ‘I told you so.’ He doesn’t even get to apologise to her before she finishes her shift. And it seems to forced to apologise in the days after, so he never does.

Which means in the coming months he grows more and more fond of Clarke Griffin, even if they aren’t friends. During their shifts together, she trash talks him as much as – if not more – than Miller. She’s polite to customers, even when they are yelling at her, which made his job easier. She really is his favourite employee. But she doesn’t like him. Which helps keep his tiny crush at bay. If she doesn't like him, there is no chance of anything happening. 

*

“I brought you food.” Clarke says, as she hangs her coat in the break room and drops a container of what appears to be mac and cheese in front of him. He’s worked an unexpected double shift every day this week and he hasn’t eaten more than a sandwich on his lunch break everyday. If Clarke is arriving, it must be five o’clock. She’s on until nine, when they close for the evening.

“I- what?” Bellamy asks, not really comprehending why Clarke would bring him a meal. As if on cue, his stomach growls and she gives him a pointed look.

“Food, Bellamy. You need to eat.” She rolls her eyes and puts her own container in their tiny fridge.

“But you hate me?” He says it as a question and knows instantly that it was the wrong thing to say. He can tell by the look of hurt on her face.

“No, I don’t.” She says, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “You’re super annoying and have weird eating habits, but I don’t hate you.”

“I thought – I thought that you hated me because of what I said at the beginning.” He finds himself saying without much conscious input on his part. He might be more tired than he thought. The Christmas period does that to him.

“Raven and I got drunk and bitched about you and she told me that you’re just a grumpy piece of shit.” Clarke says, with a shit-eating grin. “So I got over that months ago.”

“Fucking Raven.” Bellamy scowls. It’s just like her to take their employees out and get them drunk in their first weeks. “She’s such a bad influence on people.”

“Debatable. I once convinced her table dancing was a good idea.” Clarke grins. She types her number into the clock on machine. “Eat your mac and cheese, Blake.” Of course she already knew Raven. A lot of things are suddenly clicking into place.

“You’re on tills until close!” He calls after her.

“Fuck you!” She calls back, but he can hear the laugh in her voice. He sighs and has his first forkful of his meal to his mouth when Raven bursts in. She has a scowl on her face.

“If you don’t fucking fire Murphy, I will.”

“What happened?” Bellamy asks, around his mouthful of pasta.

“He overcharged an old lady by fifty bucks.” She mutters, grabbing a fork of the sink and stabbing several pieces of his macaroni. “And – holy shit. Clarke brought you this.”

“How do you recognise someone’s mac and cheese?” Bellamy mutters, glaring at Raven. She’s going to give him so much shit for this.

“It’s the best thing for a hangover.” Raven grins. “And about the only thing she can cook.”

“Why didn’t you say she was your friend when you wanted to hire her?” He snipes instead. “I probably wouldn’t have been such a dick.”

“Yes, you would have.” Raven says, stabbing more macaroni. “I know you.”

*

It’s just gone nine when Bellamy realises how much work has to be done before he can leave. The shop is a mess, there are three boxes he asked Murphy to put out earlier in the day that he hasn’t touched, he has to mop the floors, sort out the cafe and he has to count the tills. It’s going to be a long night.

“Reyes, can hang back tonight and help with clean up?” He asks, joining his staff in the break room.

“Not a chance,” she grins, “I have plans with my bed and my good friend Roa-”

“Don’t want to hear it.” Bellamy glares. “Miller? Will you at least do the floors?”

“I have to pick Monty up.” Miller shrugs, taking his things from one of the tiny lockers on the wall.

“Clarke. Will you please stay?” He asks, turning to her. He feels kind of awkward around her since he found out she apparently doesn’t hate him and is concerned enough about his weird eating patterns to bring him food. It doesn't help his tiny crush at all. 

“At least buy me dinner first, Bellamy.” She grins. He feels his face heat up as Raven and Miller snicker. He’s probably going to fire them.

“I’m taking that as a yes.” He grumbles. “Get the fuck out, you two.”

Cleaning the store with Clarke singing along at the top of her lungs to the shitty Christmas soundtrack they have playing is a lot more fun than he thought it would have been. It also makes time move faster and before he’s ready to leave, they’re counting the tills and making sure the safe is locked.

“What are your plans now?” Clarke asks, as Bellamy alarms the shop from the back office and they both dart to the front door.

“Ugh, probably going to bed?” He mutters, zipping up his jacket as they step onto the cold street.

“Is there a way to change those plans?” Clarke says, she’s looking at him through her lashes with a small smile on her face. He’s mostly incompetent when it comes to people making advances on him, but he’s pretty sure that’s what’s happening now.

“What did you have in mind?” He asks, before he can think better of it.

“I was hoping you could buy me that dinner.” She grins, lacing their fingers together.

“I can probably arrange that.” He tells her, leading the way down the street to his favourite late night diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so late for work. I was meant to leave a minute ago and I'm not even dressed. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Comments and kudos are my life!


	7. No one's ever gonna hurt you, love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a one year old son. Bellamy aspires to be better than her son's father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt - 'How can your forget your sons birthday?' 
> 
> Heads up, so so so very brief mention of abortion!

“How can you forget your sons birthday?” Clarke yells, storming into Bellamy’s apartment and dropping a now one year old onto the couch beside him. The child in question screams in delight, which slightly softens Clarke’s face. Then she turns back to Bellamy, all hard anger again.

“I’m sorry? I didn’t know I had a son.” Bellamy says, trying to make her smile. But she’s furious. “I did get your son a present though.” He pulls a large, rectangular box out from behind the couch and places it next to Jake.

“I went to drop Jake with his dad and he wasn’t even fucking home.” Clarke rants, as Jake excitedly whacks the gift with his little fists. Bellamy leans over and starts pulling the paper back, before letting Jake take over. He’s not very good at it, ripping off small pieces and trying to put them in his mouth.

“Did you call him?” He asks, giving Finn the benefit of the doubt like Clarke always asks him to do.

“I did. He’s in fucking California with his new girlfriend.” Clarke groans, some of the anger in her voice being replaced by defeat. “We said we were going to do this together and he can’t even be here for his sons first birthday.”

Clarke had dated Finn in their first year of college, around the time Bellamy had first met her. She was rooming with his little sister and he had hated her at first, because she was everything Octavia had wanted to be and everything they couldn’t afford. Octavia hadn’t cared though, she loved her roommate instantly – which meant Bellamy had to get over himself pretty quickly. And he did, he even grew to like her. She became as much his friend, as she was Octavia’s.

Which is why he wasn’t surprised when she showed up at his apartment, towards the end of their second semester. She was crying, a little drunk and very furious. She told him that she’d walked in on Finn with his other girlfriend. Bellamy had wanted nothing more than to punch Finn (especially when he realised the other girlfriend was Bellamy’s favourite co-worker, Raven Reyes) but Clarke had told him not to. So they stayed in his dorm room and he taught her how to play Halo until she was mostly laughing.

Two months later she realised she was pregnant. She’d shown up at his dorm again, once again in tears but no longer drunk and angry. She was terrified of what may have happened to her baby. She’d only drunk once, but _‘once is enough, Bellamy.’_ He took her to her first appointment, he took her to tell Finn and her mum. He comforted her and promised her they would figure something out when her mum told her to _‘get rid of it or get out._ ’ He was there when the baby was born. He was there when Jake took his first steps last week and when they had to rush him to hospital with a fever a few months earlier. He’s always been there for Clarke. And somewhere along the line he realised he was in love with her.

“Finn’s never been good at doing what he says he will.” Bellamy says, taking a piece of now soggy wrapping paper from Jake. He pulls the rest of the paper of to reveal a wooden train set that he and Octavia purchased the week before. “Happy birthday, Jakey.” He presses a kiss to the child’s head.

“That’s gorgeous, Bell.” Clarke says, looking at the box her son is hitting again. “I’m so mad at him, y’know. He promised he would take Jake out to the park for just like an hour. It’s all I expected him to do. An hour together and maybe a birthday present. But he can’t even do that. Why do I even bother?” She huffs out a breath and flops down between Bellamy and her son.

“He’s just not a good father.” Bellamy says, rubbing one of her shoulders. He knows this one aches, because it’s the one she favours when she’s carrying Jake. He knows this because he listens to her and he’s a little bit in love with her. She moans a little, which he has to ignore. “Shall we take him to see Raven and O? I know they both have presents.”

Most of Clarke’s friends had disappeared when they found out she was pregnant. Her friends from school had assumed she would abort and when she didn’t, they cut her from their lives. She hadn’t known her college friends well enough to expect them to stick around, most of them dropped out of her life when she stopped attending class. Her only friends now are Raven, Octavia and himself (and by extension Miller and Monty and Jasper). And because her dad is dead and her mum won’t talk to her, they’re her family too.

“He doesn’t even have to do anything. I don’t mind being a single parent. I just want Jake to have a father.” She groans. She picks up Jake and holds him above her head. “Wanna go see Aunty Rae and Aunty O?” She coos. Jake squeals again, showing off his eight teeth. And Bellamy isn’t just in love with Clarke. He loves everything that comes with her. But she doesn’t him like that. She doesn’t have time for a relationship.

*

Raven is already sitting at their favourite booth in the coffee shop Octavia works at. She’s got three mugs and a mini mug of hot chocolate in front of her. She makes grabby hands for Jake.

“Happy birthday, baby boy!” She coos, when Clarke drops her son in Raven’s lap. She instantly has her phone out and is taking a selfie. Bellamy bets that if he opens instagram in the next thirty seconds, the first thing he’ll see is Raven’s birthday wishes to ‘her favourite (only) nephew.’

“Where’s Finn?” Raven asks, still looking at her phone. She’s the most resentful that Finn is still in their lives, but also the most understanding.

“California.” Clarke sighs, sipping her coffee and actually moaning. “I really needed this.” Raven and Clarke bitch about Finn, leaving Bellamy mostly out of the conversation. Jake gets bored of not getting enough attention from Raven and sooks until Bellamy takes him. They go say hi to Octavia, who laments about absolutely needing a baby in her life, because Jake absolutely needs a cousin.

“You’re twenty, O.” Bellamy reminds her.

“So is Clarke!” Octavia smirks, because she knows Bellamy doesn’t have an argument against young pregnancy anymore. Clarke is a gun at this. She’s a better parent than all of his, Octavia’s and Raven’s combined. And that’s without Finn in the picture.

“You know damn well that he’d be better at it.” Raven is saying when he returns to the table with three cookies.

“Not like that’s hard.” Clarke says with a roll of her eyes, “Oh, look. Bellamy is back with cookies. Let’s talk about the cookies.” It’s the most unsubtle subject change that Bellamy has probably ever heard, but he rolls with it. Clarke doesn’t keep secrets from him unless they're important.

*

In the weeks following, Clarke becomes angrier and angrier at Finn. He doesn’t make an effort to see Jake, he doesn’t call and only answers Clarke’s calls half the time. Bellamy might be biased, but that guy is honestly a dick. Clarke doesn’t need him though. Not for anything. She has a tiny, two bedroom apartment that she had bought with money from her dads will. She works three nights a week at a bar downtown, and Raven, Octavia and himself each have Jake one of those nights. She sells her artwork online, has a pretty decent following and ideally will one day make enough money from that. She doesn’t need him.

“I just wish he was a better person.” She groans. They’re in his apartment, watching a movie for the third time that week. Jake is asleep in the portable cot that Bellamy keeps set up in his room.

“You don’t need him.” He tells her, for the third time that week. “You’re so smart, Clarke. You deserve someone who cares about you and Jake. Someone who’s always going to be there for you.”

“Know anyone like that?” She asks, laughing a little.

“Yeah, I do actually.” He mutters, a little bitter. It’s more of a confession than he meant it to be. Clarke stares at him for a moment and he can feel his cheeks heat up. He’s almost certain he’s made things awkward. Clarke’s his best friend, she doesn’t need to be dealing with his feelings on top of everything else. He’s really fucked things up now. They’re both startled by Jake’s cry.

“I’m going to grab him.” She says, practically jumping from the couch. He groans, throwing his head back against the wall. She only stays long enough after Jake has woken up to collect her things. Then she’s out the door with an armful of toddler, baby bags and blanket slung over her shoulder with a promise of seeing him soon.

*

It’s a little after eight when someone knocks on his door. He debates not answering it, but whoever is visiting this late, probably has a reason to be visiting.

“Hey.” Clarke says, when he opens the door. She’s wearing leggings a hoodie he recognises as his that he lost _months_ ago. She also doesn’t have Jake, which is strange. She usually only leaves him when she has to work.

“Hey.” He says, trying to keep the confusion of his face. “Where’s Jake.”

“I asked Octavia to watch him.” Clarke says carefully, stepping into his apartment and pulling the door shut behind her. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What’s up?” He asks, preparing for the sting of rejection. Clarke is going to tell him she just needs a friend. Which he knows.

“What you said earlier, did you mean it?” She asks, settling on his couch and patting the space beside her. He drops next to her and lets out a huff of breath.

“About you deserving someone who treats you right?” He asks, hoping she at least lets him down easy. “Of course, Clarke. You deserve the best.”

“And you know someone like that?” She says it lightly, almost as though she’s teasing him.

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” He groans, carding a hand through his hair and looking at her.

“I’d like to hear it, yeah.” She smiles. She's enjoying this way too much.

“Me. Okay, Clarke?” He mutters, throwing his head back and covering his face with his hands. It muffles his speech but he keeps talking, because he’s gone this far, he might as well tell her everything. “I want to be there for you. And for Jake. I really like – love – you. I have for so long. It doesn’t have to change anything. I don’t want to make it weird.”

“I kind of want it to change things.” She says quietly. “I really like/love you too.”

“Wait, really?” He asks, because he doesn’t have good responses to things. But she’s laughing and putting one of her hands to the back of his neck and tugging him down.

“Really.” She promises, kissing him gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos bring me joy! Send me prompts of Tumblr!


	8. It was only just a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke dreams Bellamy confessing his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this watching the new episode of Riverdale and it took a different turn, but... stuff happens! ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Hey, Clarke.” Bellamy says, he sounds sad. She looks around and finds him sitting on a picnic bench. They’re at the park where they first met so many years ago. The one where they had gotten into a fight with her when her dog pulled out of her collar. Bellamy had called her irresponsible and a ‘princess who didn’t deserve a pet.’ Octavia had stepped in and bought Clarke a coffee to make up for the ‘dick her brother can’t help but be.’ That’s how she and Octavia became friends. The three of them walk their dogs together now, in the same park. So it makes sense that she is dreaming about it. She just wonders why Octavia isn’t there.

“Hey Bellamy.” She smiles, sitting next to him on the bench. He’s wearing jeans and a navy blue t-shirt and he’s running both of his hands through his hair, as though he's stressed. Oh, his hands are empty. Neither of their dogs are with them either. Usually she uses Rosie as an excuse to see him. Bellamy always agrees because Cerberus loves Rosie so much. 

“O and Raven say I should talk to you. It might help you wake up.” Bellamy continues, taking her hand and rubbing circles with his thumb. He’s not looking at her, which is almost as weird as him holding her hand. Not that she’s complaining. She likes holding his hand. It’s big and warm, where hers is small and cold.

“I don’t want to wake up yet.” Clarke tells him, running a hand through her hair, messing up her curls. She’s not sure why, but she likes this dream. It’s not usually her and Bellamy alone and she’ll never admit it, but she likes it. A lot. Sure, they’ve spent their entire time they’ve known each other arguing about whatever trivial thing, but she _likes_ that about him. She likes the fights and the teasing and driving everyone they know crazy. It’s who they are.

“I know the others have already tried, Miller and Monty were here yesterday with you. Raven and Octavia have been here every single day. Even Murphy came in on his day off. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come by. But this is really hard.” Dream Bellamy speaks as though he hasn’t even heard her, just like Real-Life Bellamy if she is honest.

“Why are you even trying to wake me up? I had…” She pauses, now she’s thinking about it, she can’t really remember what happened last night. She thinks she was out drinking with Octavia and Raven? “I think I had a late night? Am I going to be hungover?”

“I’m going to tell you this all again, when you wake up, but I want you to know now.” Bellamy whispers, letting go of her hand and sweeping a lock of hair off her face. Her hand feels empty and because it’s her dream and she wants to, she makes to grab his. But she can’t move, her hands feel like lead and she simply can’t lift them. Sighing and wishing she had better control of her dreams, she just looks expectantly at Bellamy.

“You’re my favourite person in the world, Clarke. I would literally do anything for you. And seeing you like this –” He gestures at her and takes a deep breath. “It’s made me realise what you really mean to me. You’re not just my friend, you’re so much more now. You’re the person I want to wake up with every morning. I want to fight about the kind of cereal we buy. I want to be able to hold your hand and walk our dogs together and get into fights that don’t end with us storming off. Clarke, I love you. I love you, so much.”

Clarke smiles and opens her mouth to tell him that she feels the same way. That she struggles not to hold his hand every time they walk together. That even though they fight until they’re both hoarse, she loves him too. But she finds that she can’t open her mouth, she can’t get the words out. It’s so important that he knows.

And then the dream is dissolving around her. First the sprawling, green grass of the park, then the bench Bellamy is sitting on. She panics for a moment, she’s not even going to be able to tell dream Bellamy how she feels. But Bellamy doesn’t fade. The park turns into plain, sterile white walls decorated only with hideously, floral curtains. Floral curtains that she recognises as belonging to the private walls of Arkardia General Hospital. As she makes the realisation, she tunes into the beeping of monitors behind her. And then she focuses on Bellamy.

He’s not looking at her, but at his hands, which are resting near hers. He looks sad and like he hasn’t slept. She wants to chastise him for that. He’s always telling her to get more sleep.

“Bellamy.” She tries, but the words don’t really come out. Just a sort of choking sound. Bellamy looks up, wide-eyed but a smile breaking out onto his face.

“Clarke!” He says, taking her hand and squeezing it.

“Hey.” She tries again, her words at least coherent this time. “What happened?”

“You were in an accident. You’ve been out for a week.” Bellamy murmurs, there are tears in his eyes, but he’s smiling. Clarke remembers what he said in her dream and for a moment she thinks it’s real. Thinks he really said it. Then her brain catches up with what he said about the accident.

“A week?” She asks slowly. “What happened?”  _Clarke, I love you. I love you, so much._ The words are ringing in his ears.  _It was a dream,_ she needs to focus on what's happening in the present. 

“You guys were walking home. You were hit by a drunk driver.” Bellamy says. He takes her hand again, resuming the circles he was rubbing on her hand in her dream.  _What if it were real?_

“Are the others okay?” Clarke asks, panic rising in her chest.

“They’re fine. I’m going to call a doctor.” Bellamy says, squeezing her hand and pulling away. Everyone was okay. She was okay. Her thoughts are still incoherent. She's having trouble on focussing on anything other than the memory of Bellamy saying he loves her. It just feels so real.

“I love you too.” She whispers, holding tightly to his hand while he presses the button that will alert someone that she’s awake. He smiles softly, as a nurse come bustling into her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fourth time I’ve written Clarke into a car accident and the second time I have posted it. Sorry, Clarkey. That's my bad.


	9. New Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven sings 'New Rules' to Clarke every time she mentions Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my favourite coworker who not only has to listen to me rant about Bellarke every night, but also has to put up with mw singing this song, _literally the time. ___

_One_

Clarke knew pretty much immediately that she was going to regret breaking up with Bellamy, but everything about their relationship had terrified her. He was going in head-on and she needed to take things slow. And because she’s a mature adult who deals with her feelings rationally, she runs away. In hindsight, talking to him would have been the better option. Maybe they would still be together. But they were friends before they dated and they are friends again now. And that is better than nothing.

“Are you even listening to me?” Raven asks, snapping her fingers in Clarke’s face and tearing her out of her not-quite-but-almost-there moping.

“Sorry, what?” Clarke asks, looking up from her phone. Raven had been talking about one of her papers and Clarke really can’t keep up with that train of thought. Raven is probably too smart for her own good. Definitely too smart for Clarke.

“I swear to god, if you’re messaging Bellamy, I will throw your phone across campus.” Raven says, reaching for her phone. Clarke pulls it out of the way and Raven rolls her eyes. They’ve been broken up for just over a month and other than the week she disappeared for, they still talk everyday.

“He’s just telling me that he’s lost Miller.” Clarke says with a sheepish smile. Raven has been trying to convince her to just drop him. She knows that Clarke still has feelings for Bellamy and that she’s not going to get over them if she keeps speaking to him. But how can she give up her friendship that she had before the relationship?

“Whatever.” Raven mutters and resumes the conversation about literal rocket science. Clarke is about to say something about needing to harvest Raven’s brain for science when her phone rings. She frowns at the caller ID because it’s Bellamy and the only time he’s ever rung her is when there has been an emergency.

“ _Don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling ‘cos he’s drunk and alone._ ” Raven sings when she sees Clarke frowning.

“Shut the fuck up, Dua Lipa.” Clarke mutters, “I’m going to take this.” She hoists herself of Raven’s bed and answers the call once she is in the hallways and away from (Raven’s) prying ears.

“Clarke!” Bellamy says into the phone, way too loudly and way too excitedly. “I can’t find Miller.” Clarke groans internally, she’s literally being called because he’s drunk and alone.

“Poor baby.” She teases, before adding, “Are you okay?” Bellamy doesn’t go out often and when he does it’s usually with a big group. Tonight it had just been him and Miller.

“I’m fine. I just- can you pick me up?” Bellamy says, going from exuberant to defeated instantly. “Miller was talking to this guy and I don’t want to cock block so I need to get home.”

“Text me the address.” Clarke agrees, saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Raven’s going to kill her. Or judge her. One is definitely worse than the other.

“What did he want?” She asks, when Clarke lets herself back into Raven’s door room and begins collecting her stuff.

“He just needs a ride.” Clarke mumbles, purposefully avoiding Raven’s eyes.

“Tell him to call a cab.” Raven sighs, digging her laptop out from under the bed and glaring at it. She means well, but honestly, Clarke has this.

“He’s my friend, Rae. He’d do it for me.” Clarke says. Defending Bellamy is second nature by now. None of her friends understand how they’re still able to maintain a friendship, despite the breakup.

Twenty minutes later Clarke is pulling her car onto the curb in front of the bar Bellamy said he was at. He’s lounging against the wall, looking at his phone and looking way too good when she knows how drunk he is. _God damn him._

“Hey.” She says, when he climbs into the car. He doesn’t answer, but leans over her and hugs her. She lets him, letting herself lean into his chest like she used to. “How was your night?” She asks when they pull apart.

“Well, I was going to get laid.” He shrugs and she pretends she’s a good and supportive friend and doesn’t flinch when he says it. She broke up with him. He’s allowed to get laid.

“But you didn’t?” She prompts, hating the way she sounds hopeful and hoping he’s too drunk to notice.

“Nah, I was so into you for so long, I seem to have forgotten how.” He says casually, shrugging his shoulders. Clarke does wince this time. Bellamy had told her in the early days of their relationship, how long he had had feelings for her.

She drops him home, making sure he gets into the house before pulling out of his driveway to go back to her own apartment. She wants nothing more than to be going inside with him. But she can’t. That part of her life is over. _There has to be a way to fix this._

_Two_

It’s fairly early Sunday night, just over a week later, when Clarke’s phone chimes with a message from Bellamy.

**Bellamy  
** _Hey are you free? Locked my keys in the house and Miller won’t be home for four-ish hours. You’re the only person I know in walking distance. Please say you can help me_

She thinks about telling him no, because she shouldn’t really be spending as much time with him as she does. Not when she feels the way she does. Not when she broke up with him. But he’s her friend first and he’s locked out. She would invite Raven over, why not Bellamy?

 _‘Don’t let him in, you’ll have to kick him out again.’_ A voice in her head sings when she hears him knocking fifteen minutes later. Raven would be proud. She has that stupid song stuck in her head every time she thinks of Bellamy now.

They have three hours to kill before Miller even finishes work and looks at his phone, so they decide to binge watch the show they started before they broke up. They’re three episodes in when Clarke finds herself drifting off and it’s too easy too lean against his shoulder. She’s too tired to think any better of it.

Clarke wakes up a few hours later, laying on Bellamy’s chest with his arms around her waist. She’s sleepy and content enough to lie with him for a moment longer, pretending that this is their normal.

“Bell.” She whispers, trying to extricate herself from his grip. “Bellamy.”

“Mmm?” He hums, wrapping his arms around her tighter. _It’s a subconscious habit. He’s asleep. You broke up with him. It doesn't mean anything._

“Wake up.”

“Mmm.” He murmurs again. She kicks him and he jerks awake.

“You should go, Bellamy.” She says softly, when he opens his eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah, shit. Sorry, Clarke.” He mutters, sitting up and letting her go. She misses his warmth instantly, but doesn’t let it show on her face. She's really doing her best not to give mixed messages.

“Miller will be home by now and I have an early class tomorrow.” She says, instead of all the things she wants to tell him.

“Yeah, of course.” He gets off the couch and stretches. She doesn’t stare at the expanse of skin shown off when he lifts his arms above his head. _She doesn’t._

She also doesn’t struggle to get back to sleep after he’s left. She’s said it once, she’s said it a thousand times. _She’s over him_.

_Three_

“We’re going clubbing tonight.” Harper declares, dragging Luna and Monroe by the hands into Raven’s dorm room. “And you’re both coming.”

“I have a paper to write.” Clarke says, feeling Raven’s hand hit the back of her head before she even finishes speaking. She glares at her friend who is grinning maniacally at Harper.

“Let’s go get these girls laid.” Raven smirks, abandoning the essay she was writing and digging through her closet and standing up to dig through her closet.

“I do not need to go out to get laid.” Clarke groans. She groans again when one of Raven’s dresses hits her in the face.

“You’re wearing that.” Raven says in a tone that leaves no room for argument. Clarke rolls her eyes at Monroe. She just broke up with her girlfriend and is being subjected to the same treatment by Harper.

Several shots of tequila later, they’re piling in an Uber and heading to Harper’s favourite club. Clarke’s feeling pleasantly buzzed and really in the mood to dance. She does end up wearing Raven’s dress and letting her friends do her makeup, so she’s feeling a little out of her comfort zone, but in a good way.

They order more shots and then take to the dance floor and then order more shots. She knows she’s going to have a headache in the morning but she can’t bring herself to care right now. She’s having fun. Raven points out a guy she thinks Clarke should flirt with, but she just rolls her eyes. She doesn’t need to hook up with anyone to have a good night.

“What?” Clarke yells over the music at Raven. She’d just rolled her eyes so hard they were in danger of rolling back into her head.

“ _Don’t be his friend, you know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning_.” Raven yells into Clarke’s ear. Clarke follows her gaze to the bar when Bellamy is ordering a drink. He hasn’t seen them yet and her brain is at war with itself. She wants to go and talk to him but at the same time, she knows that her drunken self can’t handle it tonight. She'll do something stupid, like tell him she loves him.

“Clarke.” Bellamy says, not ten minutes later. She was dancing with Luna and Monroe, but they disappeared at the same time Bellamy appeared. She frowns, they had to have planned this.

“Bellamy.” She smiles, feelings stupidly fond of the boy in front of her, not remembering why they aren’t together. Who cares how fast he wanted to go when she loves him this much?

“I need to tell you – I think we need to talk. I just – Clarke, I… Can we go outside?” Bellamy stammers over the music. Clarke thinks he’s blushing but it’s hard to tell in the dimly lit club. She knows what he wants to talk about, knows that he still has feelings for her. She knows that they can fix this. Knows that he wants it as much as her. Knows that she made a mistake.

So she does the only thing she can think of. She wraps her arms around his neck and brings his mouth down to hers. He’s only surprised for a second and then he’s wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her with bruising force. She gets lost in the kiss, tangling her hands in his hair and pulling him closer. 

“I love you.” She whispers, when he pulls back from her. “And I’m sorry.”

“Let’s go talk.” He says, taking her hand and leading her to the exit. Despite how much shit Raven is going to give her, she sends a message letting her know where she’s going.

 

_And four_

“ _And if you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him_.” Miller sings very off-key, throwing Bellamy’s bedroom door open and throwing pillows at their sleeping forms. Bellamy grunts and lifts his arm high enough that Miller can see his middle finger.

“How much did Raven pay you to do that?” Clarke groans, pulling a pillow over her head as Miller opens the curtains. It’s too bright for her already pounding head.

“Seventy-five dollars.” He grins, pulling the door shut behind him. “I’m making breakfast if you’re hungry.”

Clarke is starving, so she pulls one of Bellamy’s shirts over her head. She turns to wake Bellamy but he’s already looking at her.

“This wasn’t just last night was it?” He asks softly, reaching for her hand.

“No, Bell. It wasn’t.” She promises, squeezing his fingers. “Now, get up. I want pancakes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are amazing. Hit me up on Tumblr if you have any prompts!


	10. Mum and Dad's favourite delinquents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is furious that Clarke and Bellamy are going on a double date and not dating each other. _Heads up, this is basically ridiculous. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was wickedly drunk when I wrote this. I wasn't going to post it, but I read it over again today. I kind of like it, even if it's probably the most nonsensical thing I've ever written!

There is like a ninety nine per cent chance that Octavia has never been this mad at Bellamy. Honestly. It’s like he’s not even trying anymore. She sighs dramatically and throws herself onto the couch before unlocking her laptop and loading the group Facebook chat (because someone *cough* Miller *cough* won’t get an iPhone).

**Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
my head is done in.  
they’ve officially gone too far.  
i can’t deal with them.  
i’m withdrawing my six month bet and changing it to six-fucking-years.

 **Raven Reyes**  
Mind explaining what you’re talking about baby blake?

 **Octavia Blake**  
i no longer wish to be associated with Bellamy Blake.

 **Monty Green**  
That doesn’t really answer the question

 **Nathan Miller**  
None of us really want to be associated with big Blake

 **Octavia Blake**  
BELLAMY AND CLARKE ARE GOING ON A DOUBLE DATE  
NOT WITH EACH OTHER  
WITH OTHER PEOPLE  
BELLAMY IS TAKING ECHO OF THE CRAZY CREW  
AND CLARKE, BEAUTIFUL, SWEET CLAKRE IS GOING WITH GHE LEZXA OF THE ENEV CRAZIER CREW

 **John Murphy**  
You know it’s serious when auto correct can’t even help her.

 **Harper McIntyre**  
The overreaction is warranted.  
I feel like my parents are getting divorced and seeing other people  
Is Echo going to be our step mum?  
Is Lexa?  
Both of them would try to kill us in our sleep if we misbehaved  
OUR NIGHTS OF CRASHING ON MUM AND DADS COUCH ARE O-V-A-H

 **Jasper Jordan**  
I’m throwing in the towel.  
They think they’re better at being adults than us  
But they can’t even admit their feelings.  
And they have reuiqted feeligns. I wonder what tthats’ like.

 **Nathan Miller**  
Jasper is done with auto correct as well. Can we cool it with the double texting?

 **Monty Green**  
Is it time to intervene?

 **Harper McIntyre**  
You’re a buzz kill Miller  
Get it  
BUZZ kill  
Buzz buzz bitches.

 **John Murphy**  
Permission to take Harper out of the chat for bad puns?

 **Nathan Miller**  
Granted

**_John Murphy has removed Harper McIntyre from the group_ **

**Raven Reyes**  
Overruled  
We like Harper more than you

**_Raven Reyes has added Harper McIntyre to the group_ **

**John Murphy  
** That’s rough. I’m offended

 **Octavia Blake**  
guys stop. this is important  
its time to intervene. i have a plan.

 

Bellamy has said at least fifteen times, a day, since she could talk, that she is dramatic, but at least she isn’t stupid. Clarke and Bellamy have been in love with each other since they had met nearly four years ago. And now they are dumb enough to try and double date with each other. She’s got to stop this.

 

 **Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
theyre going to dinner, at this fancy restaurant and i reckon we ruin the night.  
we pay the waiter to spill the wine on Lexa  
we make sure they get the wrong meals  
i think I can probably convince Echo to be the worst date out.

 **Nathan Miller  
** How are you going to convince a waiter to do something like that?

 **Octavia Blake**  
it’s about who you know, not what, miller  
i happen to know a guy

 **John Murphy  
** Why am I even surprised? You always know a guy

 **Jasper Jordan  
** I wish I always ‘knew a guy’

 **Harper McIntyre  
** Your guy is Monty. He can do anything

 **Monty Green  
** Apparently except spill wine on Lexa

 

On the night of Clarke and Bellamy’s date, Octavia goes to the restaurant dressed entirely in black, wearing a dark pair of glasses she has stolen from Bellamy.

“Lincoln?” She hisses, poking her head into the kitchen. The man in question glances up from where he is standing and glares at her, ushering her out of the room and following.

“You can’t be back here, Octavia.” He whispers, pulling her into a hug and kissing her on the cheek. She grins for a moment, enjoying the attention, before drawing her attention back to more important matters.

“I need to know we’re a go for tonight.” She whispers, adjusting her glasses and looking around the restaurant. Neither Bellamy or Clarke have arrived yet, but she thinks Lexa is already sitting in the table they reserved.

“You look ridiculous.” Lincoln tells her, tapping the glasses. “But yes, we’re a go.”

“I’m in disguise. I cannot draw attention to myself.” She rolls her eyes, pulling her phone from her pocket.

 

 **Me  
** Everything is in place. Are you still a go to call Clarke with an emergency in forty-five minutes.

 **Raven Reyes of Sunshine**  
I’m not going to lie to you, I think I broke my wrist in an arm wrestling battle with Murphy.  
He wants to take me to hospital now.  
But I told him this will help the Bellarke plan  
So he’s reluctantly on board  
But there is a lot of pain  
So feel free to hurry it up if you can  
No pressure

 **Me**  
Jesus fuck Raven  
They’re not here yet, but I’ll do what I can

 

Octavia rolls her eyes at her phone slightly but tucks it into her pocket. She glances at the door and ducks behind the counter Lincoln is standing. Bellamy and Clarke have just walked in _together_ , and they’re laughing. What an impression to make on their dates. Not that Octavia really cares, because the worse impression they make, the better her plan is.

Finally, five minutes late (who does she think she is, honestly?) Echo arrives. Octavia and Echo have a reluctant agreement. Echo is going to be a bitch and in return, Octavia won’t spill what she knows. That Echo had been involved in the fight that led Bellamy’s ex girlfriend to break up with him.

The date seems to start okay. Bellamy kisses Echo on the cheek and Clarke and Lexa hug. They laugh at something that Octavia can’t hear. But then Lincoln gets one of his junior waiters to take their order before they’ve even picked up the menu and she knows how much that will annoy Lexa. Lexa scowls as Bellamy good naturedly sends him away, but she doesn’t say anything.

Ten minutes later Octavia pays the same waiter to trip and spill the wine of Lexa. He goes above and beyond and spills the glass in Clarke and Lexa’s lap. From her hiding spot behind the counter, Octavia can see Bellamy throwing napkins at them both and probably assuring the kid who served them that it’s fine. Lexa looks furious but Clarke at least is giggling.

 

 **Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’  
** Phase 1 is a go. Lexa and Clarke are both covered in red wine.

 **Jasper Jordan  
** Did Bellamy swoop in and offer them napkins?

 **Harper McIntyre  
** Did Bellamy swoop in and offer to lick it off Clarke?

 **Nathan Miller  
** Gross

 **John Murphy  
** Gross

 **Octavia Blake  
** Gross. That’s my brother.

 **Raven Reyes**  
I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but…  
_Raven Reyes sent an image to the group_

The photo Raven sent is of her arm. It’s hugely swollen and there is already black bruising near her wrist. Octavia groans quietly.

 

 **Monty Green to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
We can never tell anyone how long we waited to take Raven to the hospital  
I’m not a doctor and I promise you, that’s broken  
Clarke would be furious

 **Raven Reyes**  
IT’S FOR BELLARKE  
I’LL BE FINE  
MURPHY HAS IT ON ICE  
TEXTING WITH MY LEFT HAND IS A NIGHTMARE THOUGH

 **Harper McIntyre  
** I’ll read the travellers blessing at your funeral

 

Octavia smirks and switches her phone back to do not disturb and watches a different waiter take the groups order. Lexa is in a bad mood, which works for her. Octavia almost laughs at how uncomfortable her brother looks right now. Echo is being far too affectionate, one hand on his shoulder and one on his leg. Bellamy isn’t a fan of PDAs.

Five minutes later, she thinks Bellamy and Clarke are arguing – which is totally their way of flirting. Lexa and Echo look like they want to intervene, but no one can interrupt Bellamy and Clarke when they’re on a tangent.

“Lincoln.” Octavia hisses, calling him over from where he was greeting another couple. He points them to their table and stands beside Octavia.

“You know I’m probably going to get fired, right?” He says. “There meals should be out soon. I messed them up for you.”

“If you get fired, I’ll make it up to you.” She promises, waggling her eyebrows. It’s an awkward way to flirt. She’s kneeling behind the counter and he’s trying not to act like he’s talking to himself.

“If your brother doesn’t murder me first.” Lincoln mutters, rolling his eyes. Octavia might be a little bit ridiculous, but this is going to work. Lincoln’s lack of faith isn’t going to bring her down.

“He’ll only murder you if he finds out you helped.” Octavia whispers, blowing him a kiss.

“Look.” Lincoln says, nudging her with his knee. A third waiter is bringing the meals out, dropping the wrong meals in front of everyone.

 

 **Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
Phase 2 is complete.  
They’re laughing about it, but Lexa’s not impressed  
Bellamy and Clarke are flirting  
Echo is being a total creeper and Bellamy is hating it  
So basically nothing different to normal

 **Nathan Miller  
** I like it when you’re not on your laptop, Octavia. Your messages are way easier to read

 **Octavia  
** FCK OF MILLZ WE HAV MR IMPORTANT THNGZ THAEN MI GRAMMA 2 WRRY ABT

 **Nathan Miller  
** Burn my eyes out

 **Raven Reyes  
** Initiate phase 3?

 **John Murphy  
** Please god initiate phase 3. Her arm looks disgusting

 **Raven Reyes  
** Bitch, you broke it

 **Harper McIntyre  
** Y’all are adorable

 **Octavia Blake  
** Initiate phase 3

 

Octavia only has to wait about thirty seconds for Clarke to glances down at her phone. As expected, she ignores the first call, but picks up when Raven calls back thirty seconds later. Clarke’s facial expression changes make Octavia snigger into her hand. Annoyed, confused, eye roll, concern. And then she’s standing up, shoving her phone in her purse, probably explaining what happened.

 

 **Raven Reyes of Sunshine**  
I played the ‘I don’t have a car and I really need to get to hospital card’ and she didn’t even hesitate. She on her way now?  
Does it count as playing it as a card if it’s true?  
I need to get to hospital

 **Me**  
She’s on her way  
You’ll be fine.

 **Raven Reyes of Sunshine  
** She just sent a message. She’s dropping Lexa home on her way to me

 

Octavia glances up and ducks behind the counter just in time. Lexa and Clarke are indeed walking out together. This isn’t part of the plan, but they’re going to have to roll with it.

 

 **Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
Phase 3 is complete  
I’m going to get Bellamy out here

 **Monty Green  
** Tbh we haven’t really done anything for Bellarke here. We’ve just ruined their dates with other people.

 **Harper McIntyre**  
Use your imagination Monty  
They’ve had a terrible night  
When they look back on it  
They’ll realise the only good thing  
Was spending time with each other  
Which is cute asf

**_Nathan Miller has removed Harper McIntyre from the group_ **

**_Monty Green has added Harper McIntyre to the group_ **

**_John Murphy has removed Monty Green and Harper McIntyre from the group_ **

**_Raven Reyes has added Monty Green and Harper McIntyre to the group_ **

**Octavia Blake**  
You’re all as bad as each other  
Clarke is going to be mad and come to mine and Bellamy’s tonight – where Jasper is going to have conveniently already picked me up so they’re alone together. Clarke is mad. Bellamy comforts her. They realise they’re in love.  
Initiating phase four

 

 **Me**  
You only have to endure about six more minutes of this date  
Give me time to get out of the restaurant and then you can make an excuse to leave

 **Echo of The Crazy Crew**  
It’s really creepy you’ve been watching this entire time  
I’ll leave shortly.

 **Me  
** Remember what happens if you don’t

 **Echo of The Crazy Crew  
** If nothing else this date has made it painfully obvious that bellamy is into Clarke. Can I leave yet?

 **Me**  
Told you.  
Jasper’s picked me up. You’re good to go.

 

“So everything went according to plan?” Jasper asks, once she’s in his car and they’re on the way to her and Bellamy’s apartment. She wants to change her clothes and return Bellamy’s sunglasses before he realises they’re missing.

“Yeah and even if this doesn’t work, I enjoyed being a spy. And I never have to worry about have Echo as a sister in law because even she can see that they’re in love.” Octavia says.

 

 **Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
Phase 4 complete.  
Getting changed then we’re coming to yours to hide out, Miller

 **Nathan Miller  
** Why me?

 **Jasper Jordan**  
Because Bellamy won’t suspect you to be involved in such a heinous plan.  
And because you love us

 **Nathan Miller  
** Debatable.

 **Octavia Blake  
** Shut up. Phase 5 is beginning as soon as we get out of here.

 

“As long as you had fun.” Jasper grins, pulling into the car park of Octavia’s apartment complex.

“I’ll be two seconds.” Octavia says, when Jasper stops the car. She jogs up the three flights of stairs, rather than taking the elevator and lets herself in. She throws her phone and purse on the couch and changes her clothes in her bedroom. She drops Bellamy’s glasses back on his chest of draws and jogs back to the car.

They’re pulling into Miller’s driveway when she realises that her phone has been obnoxiously quiet. Jasper’s has been going off in his pocket for the entire trip.

“Shit. I left my phone on the couch.” Octavia groans, running a hand through her hair. Bellamy knows her password. If her phone is going off constantly, they’re going to want to turn it off. If they turn it off they’re going to see the group chat that they’re not apart of. They’re going to get curious. They’re going to read the messages.

She’d almost rather them look through her camera roll. They’re going to be so mad.

“We can’t go back.” Jasper groans. “It’ll ruin phase five.”

“Give me your phone.” Octavia says, holding out her hand. She unlocks it and opens the chat, ignoring to forty-eight messages she hasn’t read on her own phone.

 

 **Jasper Jordan to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
Guys, it’s Octavia. Shut the fuck up. I left my phone on the couch at home.  
I don’t want Bellamy or Clarke to see these messages.  
No one message again.

 **John Murphy**  
Got it  
No more messages  
We don’t want mum or dad to see  
Clarke just left us at the hospital, btw.  
She says she’s not hanging around and she’ll pick us up later

 **Nathan Miller**  
Dick move, Clarke.  
Raven’s arm might need to be amputated.  
And she won’t even be there to hold her other hand

 **Raven Reyes  
** Guys, stop. Clarke will be at Bellamy’s by now. We don’t want to get caught

 **Monty Green  
** What if we all just block Octavia?

 **Harper McIntyre**  
I don’t think I can block her.  
She’s my fave

 **John Murphy  
** Done

 **Nathan Miller  
** Done

 **Raven Reyes**  
Wow Harper  
I see how it is

 **Harper McIntyre  
** You’re my fave too, Rae-Rae

 **Jasper Jordan**  
Don’t block me.  
And actually shut the fuck up.

 

Octavia sighs, handing Jasper his phone back, once it’s stopped buzzing. Her friends are actually useless.

Once they’re safely on Miller’s couch, watching a movie, Jasper starts a chat without Octavia, Bellamy or Clarke. Octavia uses Miller’s laptop to keep up with the conversation, occasionally interjecting and signing her messages with ‘ _Not Miller xOx.’_

“I don’t want to panic you,” Miller says once the chat has finally died off and she’s put the laptop away, “But I just got a message from you, Octavia.”

“Fuck.” Octavia says, opening the laptop and groaning. There is definitely a message from her to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents.’

“I can’t look.” Jasper says, dramatically throwing his phone onto the spare couch.

“Wish me luck.” Octavia says, opening the chat. Both Miller and Jasper lean over her shoulder the read it.

 **Octavia Blake to ‘Mum and Dad’s favourite delinquents’**  
You guys are the most meddlesome little shits we know  
Also we’re offended you have a chat without us.

**_Octavia Blake has sent an image to the group_ **

**_Octavia Blake has added Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin to the group_ **

**_Octavia Blake has renamed the group ‘Mum and Dad’s least favourite delinquents_ **

 

The image that either Bellamy or Clarke sent to the group has both Octavia and Jasper squealing with excitement and high-fiving. Miller is also looking pleased, but in the really macho, ‘I-don’t-really-give-a-fuck-way’. Bellamy has his arm around Clarke with a big goofy smile on his face. Clarke is leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. And she can only see their shoulders. But they’re both naked.

”Gross. I’m never going home.” Octavia mutters between her squealing, glaring at the screen in front of her. 

 

 **Monty Green to ‘Mum and Dad’s least favourite delinquents’**  
No way.  
Octavia’s plan worked?

 **Harper McIntyre**  
If it worked I’m taking partial credit  
If it didn’t, all Octavia’s idea. We had nothing to do with it.

 **Raven Reyes  
** If it worked, this is totally worth the two broken bones in my wrist

 **Clarke Griffin**  
We hate all of you.  
But we’re quite fond of each other

 **Nathan Miller  
** Gross.

**_Nathan Miller removed Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin from the group_ **

_**John Murphy added Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin to the group** _

**John Murphy  
** Mum and dad are finally together, Nathan. Don’t take that away.

 **Octavia Blake  
** Guys. We did it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what my intoxicated self comes up with. Comments and kudos are the light in my life and the sunshine in my soul. I'm not dramatic. It's my inner Octavia.
> 
> Come be my friend on tumblr [ Tumblr](https://not-a-total-basket-case.tumblr.com/)


	11. And a happy new year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke doesn't realise she's into Bellamy until he gets a girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer than I meant it to be. Shut up, I make my own rules.

_  
_

Clarke’s had a really bad week. She got a low mark on the paper she handed in, she’s in another fight with her mum, Raven is mad at her because she had to blow off their coffee date twice for work and her boss has told her she has to work all the way through to Christmas Eve. There’s really only one thing that can make her feel better after this kind of week; spending the evening gorging herself with her best friends cooking and watching a dumb Christmas movie with him.

She’s already knocking on Bellamy’s door when she hears the giggling. And fuck. Bellamy’s seeing someone now. She can’t just show up like this. But she’s already knocked. It’s too late to run. She wouldn’t even get halfway down the hallway before he opened the door.

She’s in the middle of thinking of an excuse for showing up unannounced when Bellamy opens the door. He looks her up and down with a raised eyebrow. But he doesn’t look mad that she’s there. Which at least is a positive.

“Hey.” She says dumbly and then to her horror she feels tears in her eyes. “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” He asks, concern colouring his tone. He hates seeing people upset. It’s how they had gone from enemies to best friends. They were drunk and arguing about something completely trivial and he had yelled about _‘daddy giving her everything she wants.’_ Of course, three days after the anniversary of her dad’s death, that stung a lot more than he meant it to. So when she tore out of the party, he was the one who went after her. He apologised and let her cry and the next day they were friends.

“I’ve just had a shitty week and I think I’m overly emotional.” She says, trying to shrug her shoulders but not quite managing the nonchalance she was aiming for.

“I’ll be back in a minute, Gina.” Bellamy calls into the kitchen, before pulling his front door shut and stepping into the hallway with Clarke. “Tell me about your week.”

“How long do you have?” She mutters, stepping into his open arms and sniffling. Bellamy hugs are warm and firm and she loves them. There’s a definitely _possibility_ that Raven is right and she’s falling for him a little bit.

“As long as you need.” Bellamy says, letting go of her. “What’s up?”

“You have a date inside.” Clarke mutters, not looking at him. “I can come back tomorrow.”

“We’re just having dinner. There’s heaps there.” Bellamy shrugs. “Spill about your week and then you can have some.”

A part of Clarke’s brain tells her that it is a terrible idea to go inside with him. If her date’s best friend had barged in while she was cooking them dinner, she would not be impressed. Unless the person barging in was Bellamy, then she would offer to feed him too. It’s something that Bellamy’s girlfriend should probably get used too. They don’t really call to let each other know when they’re coming around.

“I failed my paper, I’m in a fight with my mum, Raven is mad at me and I have to work through until Christmas.” She says without taking a breath. “Please tell me you made garlic bread?”

“For art history? That professor is a dick.” Bellamy says, beginning the list on his fingers. “So is your mum and Raven if they’re mad at you. Unless you did something terrible. I’m working through until Christmas Eve as well so we can catch the bus down to Miller’s that night together. And yes, there is garlic bread.” Their group of friends have planned to spend Christmas together, because none of them particularly want to go home. Being that Miller and Monty are the only ones with an actual house (they’re still insisting on being just roommates though), they’ve decided that the group is going to travel there for Christmas.

Clarke manages to laugh at Bellamy’s breakdown of her problems, already feeling a bit better. He just has that affect on her. After another minute of conversation, she follows him into his apartment. It’s cleaner than it normally is, but still looks very Bellamy. There are books on every surface, a neat pile of shoes by the door, her Slytherin scarf hung on the wall next to his Gryffindor tie. But there is also a pretty brunette tossing a salad in the kitchen. Clarke feels a pang of jealously and _oh shit,_ maybe she likes him more than she thought.

“Gina, this is my best friend, Clarke.” Bellamy says, not noticing the sudden realisation Clarke is having. Which is probably for the best. Realising she is into her best friend is not a good thing at the best of times. Especially not when he’s introducing her to his girlfriend. “She’s having a shit week and I said she could join us.”

“I’m sorry your week is shit.” Gina smiles warmly at her, not even flinching at Clarke gate crashing their date. “Bellamy wants to watch a history documentary and I want to watch The Grinch. You can help us choose if you’re on my side.”

“I’m definitely on your side.” Clarke smirks, rolling her eyes at Gina, because _of course_ Bellamy wants to watch a documentary.

“Fine.” Bellamy pouts (which is almost too adorable for Clarke to handle right now). “But this is totally counting as your choice next time we have a movie night, Clarke.”

Clarke settles at the breakfast bar next to Gina and watches Bellamy cook. The three of them chat, sharing embarrassing stories about each other, until Bellamy serves up the meal and directs them to the couch. Gina sits in the middle, leaning on Bellamy’s shoulder after they’ve eaten. Clarke wants to be mad, because that’s normally how she sits, but she can’t be. She actually likes Gina, which sucks now that she realises that she _really likes_ Bellamy. So instead of angry, she just feels a little sad and a lot jealous.

Gina drove to Bellamy’s because she lives on the other side of town, which means he’s walking Clarke home, because ‘ _You can’t let her walk home by herself at this time of night, Bell. What kind of friend are you?’_ and it’s like Gina is enabling Clarke’s relatively new found crush. Not that Bellamy would have let Clarke walk home alone anyway.

“What did you think of Gina?” Bellamy asks when they’re almost at her apartment. She wonders if he did that on purpose, so he could run if the conversation didn’t go well.

“She’s great.” Clarke answers honestly and in an even tone. She’s quite proud. “Way cooler than I would be about your really hot, awesome, female best friend.”

“Yeah, she’s good like that.” Bellamy says with a small smile. “It helps that you’re my totally lame, female best friend.” He nudges her shoulder slightly and it does not make her stomach swoop. _She is going to stamp this crush out._

“Lame but at least I’m still hot.” She grins.

“Shut up.” Bellamy mutters, rolling his eyes and shoving her again.

*

“I don’t think I realised because he never dated.” Clarke groans, dropping her head onto the desk. She’s finally managed to squeeze in time with Raven, even if they are just studying in the library.

“It’s not like he didn’t hook up though.” Raven points out, not unreasonably. “Why didn’t you realise then?”

“Because I knew it was a once off?” She shrugs. “I don’t know. Seeing him in a relationship made me realise what I’m going to lose?”

“And what are you going to lose?” Raven asks, shoving her books back into her backpack and pulling out her phone. They aren’t really concentrating anyway.

“Gina’s cool, but how long until she gets sick of coming over and already finding me and Bellamy hanging out?” Clarke asks. It’s only happened once so far and Gina had seemed genuinely pleased to see Clarke. But Clarke’s legs were in Bellamy’s lap and she was leaning forward to read an article on his laptop. It wasn’t exactly compromising, but it’s something they should stop now that Bellamy is in a relationship.

“You’re not going to lose him. Maybe she’s accepted men and women can just be friends?” Raven shrugs. Considering how much shit she had given Clarke for her feelings about Bellamy before, she’s being surprisingly supportive now. “Bellamy and I are just friends.”

“I have feelings for him though. And you slept with him, it’s different.” Clarke says, trying not to wince. That had been a weird one for her. Her two best friends who had never met, sleeping together.

“Yeah, but it was a once off sex. Never going to happen again. And Bellamy has been oblivious to your feelings for how long? Maybe Gina won’t pick up on them either.”

“Fantastic.” Clarke grumbles. “We’re just hoping Gina doesn’t realise I’m in love with her boyfriend.”

“Yep.” Raven says, popping the ‘p’ and standing up. “I have to get to class. Don’t mope.”

*

After her conversation with Raven, it’s like the universe is conspiring against her. Gina is always at Bellamy’s apartment when she shows up, or not far off. It’s not like she doesn’t like Gina, really. She just misses her friend.

Her and Bellamy have always run on opposite schedules, expect for the weekends where they go to bars with their friends and get drunk. She takes her classes in the mornings and works evenings and nights. He works almost full-time hours during the day and takes his classes at night. Because of this, they never run into each other outside of showing up at each other’s apartments unannounced. But in the weeks leading up to Christmas, it’s like she can’t get away from him.

She’s getting coffee and the coffee place near her apartment after class when she notices him sitting alone in one of the booths. Out of curiosity more than anything, (she’s already running late) she sits down opposite from him.

“Hey, you’re earl-” He says, glancing up from his book. “Oh, you’re not Gina.”

“Good observation.” Clarke grins. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Blackout at the office. Nothing we can do until they get the power up again.” Bellamy smirks. “Gina has a break in ten minutes, so I figured we’d get some food.”

“I’m running late, so I just stopped to say hey.” Clarke says, standing up and ignoring the pang of guilt and jealously. She’s about to be gate crashing another date. She’s not that person, she wants Bellamy to be happy more than she wants him for herself. “Are you coming to the bar on Saturday?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you there?” Bellamy says, opening his book again, oblivious to her need to make a quick getaway.

She runs into Gina on her way out of the coffee shop and supresses a groan. Gina greets her with the usual warm smile and Clarke feels another wave of guilt. She shouldn’t feel like this, he’s her best friend. She wouldn’t be feeling like this if she didn’t have feelings for him.

 

The next time it happens, she’s looking for a Christmas present for Raven. Bellamy is staring at a display of robot pets with a mildly horrified look on his face. His face brightens when he sees her, pulling her in for a hug before she has time to protest. Gina appears by her side just as he’s letting her go.

“Hey Clarke. Christmas shopping?” Gina asks, putting a hand on Bellamy’s arm. The guilty feeling hits her again. She should not have feelings for a man in a relationship.

“Looking for something for Raven.” She says, gesturing around the shop unnecessarily.

 

It happens a third time when she’s at the post office. Her mum moved to California with her new husband at the beginning of the year and Clarke isn’t going to see her until she flies over in March, so she’s posting her Christmas present to her.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Bellamy says, stepping into line beside her. He’s holding a large box addressed to Octavia Blake, even though he’s going to see her on the twenty-eighth.

“I have to pretend I’m not still mad at my mum.” Clarke shrugs, holding up her small gift.

“Is there a tiny explosive device in there?” Bellamy teases. Clarke rolls her eyes and shoves him out of line. He’s about to shove her back when Gina appears again, holding a box of stamps and a stack of envelopes.

“Hey. Who are you mailing to you?” Gina says, warm as always.

The fourth time it happens, is a week before Christmas and Clarke decides she’s just going to stay inside until it’s time to go to Miller’s. It’ll be easier. She won’t have any chance to run into Bellamy or Gina.

She’s picking up Chinese on the other side of town because she’s really craving egg rolls and they do the best ones, when she literally walks into Bellamy and Gina. She’s looking at her phone and they’re waiting for their meal.

“Are you following us?” Bellamy teases, when she rights herself and forces the colour out of her cheeks. He’s grinning hugely. “It seems like you’re following us.”

“I just want egg rolls and my bed.” She groans, rolling her eyes at Bellamy.

“They’re really good here.” Gina agrees, lacking her usual brightness but not sounding upset. Clarke feels her almost perpetual guilt stir again. She’s got to deal with this crush.

Once her meal is cooked, she basically runs out of the shop and vows to shut herself inside and not leave except for work.

*

Bellamy picks her up on Christmas Eve and offers to carry her bag to the bus station. He’s not with Gina, which makes Clarke both excited and guilty. She wants to spend time with her best friend, _but_ she’s in love with him and he has a girlfriend.

He’s different to normal on the walk over. He’s making conversation like he usually does, but he seems sad.

“What’s up?” She asks, once the bags are stored on the bottom of the bus and they’re in the seats. He lets her have the window side, like always.

“Gina and I broke up.” He shrugs, not meeting her eye. Clarke can’t help but feel a moment of relief, then a moment of guilt for it, then a moment of being mad at herself for being so selfish. She finally settles on being sympathetic for her best friend.

“I’m sorry, Bell.” Clarke says, rubbing his arm soothingly. “What happened?”

“We wanted different things, I guess.” He shrugs after a moments pause. “I’m okay. We hadn’t been dating that long and I was kind of expecting it.”

“Still.” Clarke says, letting herself lean on his shoulder. “Just before Christmas. Sucks.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got you – all this Christmas so, it’s cool.” He smiles. She just imagined the pause. She has to have.

*

Christmas at Miller’s and Monty’s is just as casual as she hoped it would be. They make a nice lunch together, only embracing the family traditions that everyone cares enough about. They exchange presents after lunch and Raven plays obnoxious Christmas carols. Then they start drinking and playing Cards Against Humanity, which Monty had gotten Miller for Christmas. To everyone’s surprise, Wells is the best, playing the most inappropriate card at the best times.

“It’s about knowing your audience.” He taunts, as he collects his sixth black card in a row. “And I know damn well that Bellamy is going to pick ‘historical revisionism’ every time. He can’t help himself.”

The rest of the week passes relatively smoothly. Monty is the only who asks about her crush and she tells him that she’ll make a move when he does.

“I guess neither of us are going to be with the ones we love.” Monty sighs dramatically, throwing himself back on the couch.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll do it for us tomorrow night.” Clarke suggests. It’s New Years Eve tomorrow and Miller has already invited just about everyone they know to a party. That’s what Octavia is flying in for.

Bellamy’s and Clarke’s relationship had quickly gone back to pre-Gina over the course of the week. They spend most of their time together, just hanging out and watching movies. They do make a trip into town to get some drinks for the group and Bellamy convinces her that they need to walk through the local museum first. It’s fun, but it makes her think she wants this all the time. She wants to Bellamy to want to spend all his time with her. She just doesn’t know how to make it happen.

*

On the night of New Years, Clarke lets Raven and Octavia dress her in a dress that Clarke didn’t even know she’d packed. Somehow Raven had slipped it into her bag even though she left for Miller’s three days before Clarke. Octavia braids her hair and Raven does her makeup. Per usual, with Raven and Octavia dressing her, it feels over the top, but when she joins the party half an hour later, Bellamy is at her side in seconds.

“You look great.” He says, hugging her. She doesn’t overthink it, he’s probably tipsy and they’re always affectionate.

“I know.” Clarke grins, pouring herself a beer and following Bellamy to the couch. She gets caught up in the conversation with Bellamy, not bothering to refill her cup. By eleven o’clock, she’s only had one drink but they’ve talked non-stop for two hours. She loses Bellamy for a while, when Raven and Octavia drag her to dance with Harper and Luna, who she hasn’t seen since last New Years.

“Your man is coming this way.” Raven hisses, spinning her around and shoving her out of the circle. She flushes a little, when Bellamy’s arms wrap around her. If he was close enough to catch her, he probably heard what Raven said.

“Can I talk to you?” He asks, taking her hand. She doesn’t let herself overthink it. They’ve held hands before. She nods, letting him drag her to the corner of the room, away from their friends but not so far that they’re going to miss the countdown.

“Two minutes to midnight.” He tells her, shuffling his feet slightly. It’s a nervous habit. But she doesn’t really know what he’s nervous about.

“What are we doing over here then?” She asks, leaning on the wall next to him. “We should be getting ready to start the countdown.”

“Gina broke up with me because she thinks you’re in love with me.” Bellamy says quickly.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Bellamy.” She says, looking at him in surprise, wondering why he’s chosen now to bring it up. She thought she had done such a good job of keeping it to herself. It’s not her fault that the universe kept throwing them together.

“She said it wouldn’t be a problem if I wasn’t in love with you too.” He says slowly. And _oh!_

“And… are you?” Clarke asks after a moment. There’s a part of her that doesn’t believe what she’s hearing.

“Yeah, Clarke. For a while now.” Bellamy says, looking her in the eye. She can’t see any hint of him being drunk, which is a good sign. If this is real, she wants them both to remember it. “Which is pretty shitty of me. I shouldn’t have been dating anyone. But I didn’t think you were interested.”

“I didn’t know I was.” She admits, ducking her head to hide her flush.

“I know we’re not one for traditions.” Bellay says, as their friends start the countdown. “But there’s a new one I want to try.”

‘ _Ten, nine eight.’_

“Yeah?” She asks. He’s leaning in slowly and she is pretty sure she knows where this is going.

‘ _Seven, six, five.’_

“Yeah, I really do.”

_‘Four, three, two.’_

“I love you.” She whispers, as he puts his hands on her waist and pulls her towards him. She wraps his arms around his neck.

‘ _One! Happy New Year!’_

There lips meet at the same moment the new year rolls in. Distantly, she can hear their friends cheering, possibly for them, possibly for the new year, but she can’t focus on anything other than Bellamy’s lips on hers.

“I love you too.” He says, when the pull away. There’s confetti in his hair and he hasn’t noticed. It just makes her love him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was originally going to have Clarke hate Gina and fight with her each time they meet. But that would strain her relationship with Bellamy and it’s not fair on Gina.  
> Gina was real. She deserved better. (Not Bellamy, because Bellarke, but better.) <3 
> 
> I'm tired and I can't go to sleep because I am technically still working, so this is what happens. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are the best!   
> Come hang out on Tumblr, [here](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/) or [here](https://not-a-total-basket-case.tumblr.com/)


	12. All I want for Christmas is you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Delinquents host a Secret Santa and Clarke has to find the perfect gift for Bellamy.

Clarke knows all her friends are meddlesome little shits when it comes to her relationship with Bellamy. None of them can accept that they’re just friends. Which they totally are. They are just friends who happen to spend a lot of their spare time together. She’s not going to lie, in theory, she would love for their friendship to go further. Into a relationship. But it’s not going to happen. Bellamy just isn’t into her. Which she is okay with. Really. _She has to be._

But none of her friends can accept this. Raven and Miller had locked them in the storeroom at the bar they and Bellamy works at for three hours last week. Jasper got them both a voucher to the nicest restaurant in town for _Bellamy’s_ birthday. Monty, Jasper and even Wells constantly ask her about it. Even Harper has apparently gotten involved.

It’s not ideal, but she is a little bit touched that her friends are so invested in her happiness. But it’s kind of embarrassing. They make it really obvious. At least Bellamy is polite enough to ignore it. Which is surprising. He's also never made  fun of her for her pathetic crush. Which she supposes, is all she ask for.

It’s a Friday night when Clarke decides her friends are _too freaking meddlesome_ to be helpful. They’re just going to be the death of her. She arrives late (as usual) to Octavia’s place for drinks and collapses into the somehow empty space on the couch next to Bellamy.

“You’re late, Griffin.” Octavia glares at her. “We’re doing a Secret Santa this year, because fuck trying to buy a present for all of you.” Octavia’s decisions are final. Most of the time it’s not an issue.

“I’m not opposed to only having to buy a present for one of you nerds.” Miller agrees, lounging on the floor at the base of the couch. Where Clarke should have been sitting. Considering she was the last to arrive. There is murmuring of agreement around the room, coming from both Clarke and Bellamy. It’s going to make her Christmas shopping way less stressful. She'll still get Raven and Octavia something, but only because it's tradition to get them matching nail polish and do pedicures on the twenty-sixth. 

“I think like a forty dollar budget.” Octavia continues as if no one had spoken. “I think we should meet up on like the twenty-second? We can swap gifts then and guess who got each other.”

“Isn’t the point of a Secret Santa to not know who the present came from?” Bellamy asks, raising his eyebrows at his sister. Clarke smirks at him and he nudges her side gently. Wells rolls his eyes at them from across the room. They both ignore it.

“Shut up. Don’t question it. I have names in the hat already. Bellamy.” She offers the hat to Bellamy and glares at him until her pulls out a name. He reads the name and scowls at Octavia, who’s already started moving around the circle. She ignores him, like she usually does when it comes to Bellamy.

“Last one, Clarkey.” She says, shaking the hat at Clarke. The look in Octavia’s eyes gives Clarke a sinking feeling she knows who’s name she is about to pull. But how could Octavia have possibly rigged a Secret Santa? They all drew names out of a hat.  

But of course, the name on her slip of paper is _Bellamy Blake_ with a stupid smiley face and a badly drawn pair of glasses. _Her Christmas shopping is going to be so stressful._ She manages not to glare at Octavia, because that would be a dead giveaway and it would probably make Bellamy feel bad when he realises she’s the one who got his present.

“Good, now that’s sorted, let’s drink and watch Die Hard.” Octavia says, reaching for a bottle of vodka. There is a fifteen minute argument over whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie, that's only settled when Octavia shouts, "My apartment, my rules." 

Clarke scoots over far enough that Miller has space to sit on the couch and settles into Bellamy's side. This time she earns an eye roll from both Jasper and Harper. It's getting really old. 

*

Clarke and Bellamy have been friends since their sophomore year in college. They’d met at a bar, sharing and instant dislike for each other. At least until the both caught the same creep trying to spike Octavia’s drink. They both shouted at the guy, until the cops were called and he was banned by the bartenders.

They wouldn’t have become friends after, if she didn’t notice him in her Art History class the next day. She was so tired, hungover and still furious that someone had tried to spike her friends drink, that she wasn’t thinking straight when she decided to drop into the seat beside him. She asked him if his sister was okay and that was the beginning of their friendship.

Now, nearly seven years later, she’s standing in a music store with Raven, who’s carefully picking through the CDs and half listening to Clarke digging for ideas on what to get Bellamy for Christmas.

“What says, _I think I’m in love you, but you’re my best friend and I don’t want to make anything awkward?_ ” Clarke asks, leaning against the counter.

“How about you make a card that says just that?” Raven deadpans, holding up a CD of a band she’s never heard of. “Will Miller like this?”

“Probably. He likes weird shit.” Clarke shrugs. “I’m not making Bellamy a card.”

“You asked for a very specific present idea. You’ll have to write it down if you want something that says that.” Raven tells her, her voice laced with sarcasm.

“What’s a good present for him then? No secret message.” Clarke asks, following Raven to the counter so she can pay for Miller’s present.

“He’s _your_ best friend.” Raven points out, not unreasonably.

“But I have no idea what to get him but.” She groans, pulling her phone out of her pocket and smiling when she sees the message from Bellamy. _Secret santa is hard._

“If it’s him making you smile like that, it should be easy. He loves you too, Clarke.” Raven says gently.

“You don’t know that.” Clarke says, trying to ignore the words that at least one of her friends tells her at least once a day and not looking up from her phone. _Our friends are arseholes_ she texts back.

“I really do.” Raven tells her and Clarke only just manages to suppress an eye roll. Bellamy had personally told her that he’s not interested in dating when she was trying to set him up. Subsequently, she realised she was into him not long after. So yeah, she’s knows he’s not interested. And she’s not going to make a huge deal about being into him because of it. She knows where he stands. It doesn’t have to be awkward.

“Just leave it. I’ll get him alcohol.” Clarke mutters, a little more frustrated than necessary. _I know. Any particular reason?_

“Because that screams ‘ _I’m in love with you._ ’” Raven tells her. _No, they just are._

*

Clarke is shopping with Octavia when she finds the first part of her gift. Octavia won’t budge on who she’s shopping for, so Clarke stays equally secretive mostly out of spite.

“Just tell me who it is and I can help you.” Clarke rolls her eyes. She’s been listening to Octavia complain about not knowing what to buy her Secret Santa all morning.

“What do you people not understand about secret?” Octavia rolls her eyes and disappears down the next aisle. Clarke is mostly just shopping out of boredom. She’s convinced she’s not going to find anything for Bellamy here. So of course she does.

“Hey, O?” Clarke calls. “Stay over there for a sec, I want to pay for this.” It’s a wooden desk plaque, which looks way too prestigious for Bellamy. But it says ‘ _You’re doing a fucking amazing job.’ _and Bellamy is in his first year of teaching and seriously doubting himself. It’s perfect.

He probably can’t put it on his desk at school, but he has one set up in his bedroom in the apartment he shares with Miller. He can keep it there.

“You cannot have found your perfect gift in a dollar store.” Octavia groans, sounding far more frustrated than the situation necessarily warrants.

“You’re just jealous.” Clarke calls back.

*

Clarke is trying not to be too obvious about her Secret Santa stress. The first part of her gift is perfect, but it doesn’t make budget. She wants the second part to be something special, but not a declaration of love. It’s a harder combination than she thought.

She laying on the floor of her apartment alone on the twenty-first, not wearing pants (because they’re restricting and she can’t think properly when she’s restricted) and staring sulkily at the ceiling when the idea hits her. She’s drunk half a bottle of wine, so she’s tipsy, but not drunk enough to think it’s something she needs to decide in the morning.

She digs through the bottom of her pantry, pulling out the gross tea that Monty and Jasper had bought her once as well as an old jar. She uses the tea and her hairdryer to make pages from her sketchbook look like old parchment (because Bellamy loves weird old shit). She labels the jar ‘Seven Reasons Bellamy Blake is my Best Friend’ in calligraphy that she learnt when she addressed her mothers wedding invites. Seven because they’ve been friends for seven years and there is seven letters in Bellamy’s name. She writes a sentence on each of the seven bits of paper and then draws a tiny picture to go with each of them. Finally she wraps them as tiny scrolls and drops them in the jar.

_*_

She wakes up late the next morning, with over a hundred messages in the group chat.

 **Octavia**  
_We’re meeting in the café near Bellamy’s house to exchange gifts_  
_It’s SECRET Santa, so don’t say who it’s from_  
_Make sure they’re wrapped in brown paper_  
_Wear a coat. It’s going to snow_

 **Raven  
** _Since when are you the responsible Blake?_

 **Octavia  
** _Since always! Bellamy is a loser._

 **Murphy  
** _Really responsible, Octavia._

 **Wells  
** _She’s not wrong. It’s going to snow tonight_

 **Monty  
** _Is it an issue that I got my present gift wrapped in red paper?_

 **Octavia  
** _For fuck sake, yes. Rewrap it in brown paper. I have some you can borrow._

 **Jasper  
** _I warned him. I said Little Blake will be pissed if he doesn’t follow the rules_

Clarke skim reads the rest of the conversation and finds nothing else of importance expect Bellamy confirming the time and place.

She spends the hours leading up to six o’clock deciding whether or not she should leave the jar and go get Bellamy a voucher or something. It’s mostly the fact that she was up until three in the morning making the present that has her deciding to keep it.

At five thirty she changes from her leggings and oversized college hoodie into jeans and a white, knitted sweater. She applies a touch of makeup, puts her present in her handbag and starts the walk to the café they’re meeting at. She arrives a couple of minutes after six and frowns when it’s only Bellamy sitting at her favourite table by the window. Octavia has a rule that she’s always ten minutes early and the rest of her friends aren’t usually late.

Then it hits her. This is definitely a set up. He almost definitely has her as his Secret Santa. She is going to _kill_ her friends.

“I assume you’ve figured it out.” Bellamy says, when she sits down opposite him. She doesn’t have to play into the set up. This can just be the two of them getting dinner. It happens a lot. It’s not going to be weird.

“I have. Do you have a present for me?” She teases, pulling hers out of her bag and forcing her blush down as she hands it over.

“I wish I knew how she managed to rig the draw.” Bellamy mutters, handing over his own present, which is wrapped neater than hers.

“Octavia can do anything.” Clarke says, rolling her eyes. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, go for it.” Bellamy says, smiling at her. Clarke tears into the brown paper and smiles when several smaller packages in bright wrappings fall out. The first one is a pair of socks that say _‘If you can read this, get me wine.’_ The second is a set of mugs, one black and one white that have ‘ _paint water’_ and ‘ _not paint water_ ’ written on them respectively. The third is a water bottle labelled ‘ _Don’t forget to fucking drink water,’_ which is honestly great because she never remembers and then always has a headache. The final is a photo of them in a frame that says ‘ _#favourite’_ which is so corny and unbelievably perfect that she feels tears in her eyes before she has even finished comprehending the presents around her.

“These are perfect, Bell.” She smiles, quickly wiping her eyes. “Thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you like them.” He says, at the same time a waitress puts two mugs of hot chocolate on the table in front of them.

“You knew the others weren’t coming?” She asks, reaching for one of the mugs and smiling when she realises there is an extra marshmallow on the side.

“I figured it out at six when no one was here yet.” He shrugs, “Can I open this?” She nods and watches fondly as he slides his fingers under the tape, careful not to tear the paper. He grins at the desk plaque, which softens into a warm smile as he opens the jar. He reads through each of the tiny scrolls, smile never leaving his face before gently rolling them back up.

“Clarke. That’s probably the best thing anyone has ever given me.” He laughs softly. “That’s fucking amazing.”

“Good. Making parchment took me all of last night.” She giggles, hiding her blush behind her mug.

“Seriously. This is the best.” Bellamy says sincerely.

“You’re welcome.”

“If this works, I’m buy Octavia something amazing for Christmas.” Bellamy mutters, then leans forward to take the mug out of Clarke’s hands and replaces it with own hands. She feels a spark of hope in her chest, but manages to squash it down. It’s not like they’ve never held hands. “You’re my best friend, so this doesn’t have to mean anything changes, but I love you and I wouldn’t mind if some things did change.”

Clarke can’t help the small bubble of laughter that escapes her lips and then curses herself as Bellamy’s face falls.

“No, no.” She whispers, leaning over the table and pressing her lips to his quickly before she can think any better of it. “I just spent the last to weeks agonising over what to get you that doesn’t make how much I love you obvious. You said you didn’t date!”

“The jar was kind of a giveaway.” He smiles, leaning forward to kiss her again. “When did I say that?”

“Last year, when I wanted to set you up with Echo and – oh.” Bellamy’s looking at her with an unimpressed look and she suddenly realises what he meant.

“I said I wasn’t interested in dating anyone you could set me up with.” Bellamy says. “That doesn’t mean I wasn’t interested in dating you.”

“Oh.” She giggles again. “Yeah, I’m really interested in dating you.”

They decide to skip dinner at the café and get takeaway and watch a movie in Bellamy’s apartment. Clarke has to pull her hand out of Bellamy’s grip on the walk home when she gets a message. It’s from Octavia and it’s a picture of their backs, captioned _you’re welcome._ Clarke holds her phone up for Bellamy to see, who just rolls his eyes.

“Still planning on getting her something nice?” Clarke teases, glancing behind her and trying to figure out where Octavia is hiding.

“Nah, she’s going to be insufferable.” Bellamy groans. It’s ineffective because of the huge smile that hasn’t left his face since Clarke kissed him.

“Worth it.” She mutters, snuggling into his side. Yeah, their friends are going to be insufferable, but her Christmas is looking to be the best she’s ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Octavia rigged the Secret Santa by having all but one of the names say Clarke, so Bellamy is pretty much guaranteed to pull her name out. Then having the other members of the group know that the smallest bit of paper has Bellamy's name on it and to save that for Clarke. 
> 
> I got their gift ideas [here](https://www.buzzfeed.com/maitlandquitmeyer/gifts-that-say-i-love-you-for-people-who-arent-romantic?utm_term=.lmb4a73NG#.fjNxA8OKZ)
> 
> Comments and kudos are life!


	13. Start your year right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke decides to make her move on Bellamy at a New Years party

Clarke is definitely sulking. It doesn’t help her mood that she’s a little drunk and a little sad. It also doesn’t help that she’s at a party she doesn’t want to be at. Raven had convinced her it would be fun, but spending New Years on her couch with a sketchpad, waiting for roommate, Bellamy, to get off work sounds better. Which is lame. She’s twenty-five. She should be enjoying parties.

**Clarke  
** _I’m bored. How long until you finish?_

**Bellamy**  
_Same as always. We start kicking people out at midnight  
It’s new years. Get drunk and I’ll come by on my way home and pick you up._

The prospect of Bellamy coming to the party after he finishes work does cheer her up, even if she knows that won’t be until after the countdown.

“What are you smiling at?” Raven asks, sashaying her hips as she crosses the makeshift dance floor in Roan’s lounge room. Raven and Roan had tried to date at the beginning of the year, but called it off shortly after he met Echo and she met Gina. It was amicable and they made better friends than they did a couple.

“Bellamy is going to come here after work.” Clarke says, locking her phone and forcing it back into the pocket of her tight jeans.

“Of course that’s the thing that would make your night.” Raven rolls her eyes. “Will he make it for midnight? You can have a New Years kiss.” Clarke groans, following Raven into the kitchen to make another drink. Raven – like the rest of their friends – is convinced that her and Bellamy have feelings for each other. And while Clarke’s never denied that she’s really into him, until recently she was sure he didn’t return those feelings.

But lately Bellamy has been making her think that maybe, just maybe, he likes her back. Parts of their friendship have always had flirty aspects, but lately it’s been dialled up – insinuating jokes, casual touches and excuses to be in the same place. Her friends have definitely noticed and she can only hope they give him as much shit as they give her.

“He won’t be here until after midnight.” Clarke says. “He’s picking me up though, so I don’t have to pay for an Uber.”

“It’s the little things.” Raven agrees, topping up Clarke’s drink with an extra shot of vodka.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Clarke mutters, screwing up her face as she takes a sip.

Clarke texts Bellamy on and off for most of the night, earning herself eye rolls from both Monty and Wells when they find out. Bellamy works at the bar around the corner from their apartment, so he’s able to reply when there is a lull in customers.

The excitement of having Bellamy come to the party later is wearing off and Clarke is feeling grumpy again. Every one of their friends is in a relationship, which is something Clarke is usually happy about because that usually means that Clarke is automatically drawn to Bellamy, being the only two single friends. Tonight, she’s on her own and she can’t help being jealous of Monty and Harper dancing together or Wells and Luna sitting in the corner talking quietly or Miller and Jackson versing Murphy and Emori in beer pong.

 **Clarke**  
_I don’t have a New Years kiss_  
Everyone here is paired off  
Or people I don’t know  
I wish you were here

**Bellamy  
** _I wish I was there too_

Her text feels like more of a confession than she meant it to. If she was sober, she probably wouldn’t have sent it. But she should probably make a move soon. It’s time she finds out if Bellamy really is into her.

“So I should probably try and hook up with Bellamy, hey?” Clarke asks Raven, when Gina is dancing with some friends. Clarke doesn’t like talking about this, because it means admitting Raven is right and her ego is big enough already.

“Exactly what I’ve been saying for two years.” Raven agrees. “But yes, you should.”

“What should I do?”

“Tell him your New Years resolution is to save money on water and so you need to start showering together.” Raven shrugs. “Or on electricity, so you have to share a bed so you don’t need a heater on.”

“Not really helpful.” Clarke mutters.

“I think at this point, it doesn’t matter what you do. You’re as far gone as each other. You could literally send him a text.” Raven tells her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. “Get your man.”

“I’m going to do something when he gets here.” Clarke says, leaning into the hug.

By the time the countdown rolls around, Clarke has spent the last hour trying to think of a plan. He’s her best friend, this should be easy. But nothing seems right. She thinks of sending him a long message or pulling him aside and telling him how she feels, but she’s too nervous. She could wait until the morning, when they’re both at home, but that feels like a cop out. And because she’s a mature adult, she’s dealing with the stress by drinking.

“One minute!” Roan shouts over the noise of the party. He’s shut the music off so Clarke can hear people calling for their friends and cheering. She’s standing with Harper and Monty and Raven and Gina and she’s really excited for them to bring in the New Year by kissing their significant others. She’s only a little jealous.

“Thirty seconds!” Jasper calls, fighting through the small crowd to stand with them. He’s got Maya with him and she’s happy for him.

“Clarke, look.” Raven yells over the crowd, tugging on Clarke’s hand and pointing at the now open door of Roan’s house. And Bellamy is standing there, looking sheepishly around the house. Probably looking for her.

“Bell.” Clarke whispers, pulling out of Raven’s grip and making a beeline for the door. It’s too much of an opportunity to pass up. Bellamy is here. She has to do something about the way she feels. Tonight.

“ _Ten, nine, eight,_ ”

“Bellamy.” Clarke calls, pushing through the group. She passes Miller who smirks at her knowingly.

“ _Seven, six, five,_ ”

Bellamy looks up from where he’s standing and meets her eyes, his face splitting into a huge grin. She can’t help smiling back when he starts stepping towards her. He’s so happy to see her. He has to feel the same way.

“ _Four, three, two,_ ”

They meet in the middle of lounge room and when his arms wind around her waist, hers wrap around his neck without any conscious input from her brain. This is as good a way as any to tell him.

“ _One, happy New Year!_ ”

Clarke presses her lips to his, letting her hands tangle in his hair. She feels him stiffen under her and it has to be from surprise, because a moment later he’s kissing her back, pulling her in tighter. She doesn’t take in the cheers around her and they’re definitely kissing for too long by the time he pulls back. He’s grinning when she chases his mouth, pressing a kiss to his jaw when he pulls back further.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hey. You made it! I didn’t think you would.”

“I made arrangements so I could get here on time. I’m going to be working closes for a week.” He smiles, looking down at her fondly. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah, but I definitely want to try this sober.” Clarke says, chasing his mouth again. “I’ve wanted to do this forever.”

“Forever, huh?” He asks, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to her lips. “We can do it again when your sober, if you still feel like this. I want to too. ”

“If I promise I’ll still feel like this, can we do it again now?” Clarke asks, pouting a little. She should have known Bellamy is too good of a person to kiss her when she’s drunk.

“In the morning, princess.” Bellamy promises, kissing her forehead. And it’s _so_ _fucking_ _unfair_ that she can’t kiss him again when he’s looking at her like that.

*

They leave the party less than an hour later and of course their friends are insufferable.

“Get the girl and leave early.” Murphy shouts, as Clarke follows Bellamy out of the house.

“I see how it is, Clarke.” Raven calls. “You don’t need us any more”

“We’re never going to see them again.” Jasper agrees solemnly.

“Here’s to 2018 without Clarke and Bellamy.” Miller cheers, holding up his beer.

“Oh my god, shut up.” Bellamy says, rolling his eyes but still smiling. The smile hasn’t really left his face since he saw Clarke, just before midnight.

Clarke spends the car ride home, chatting animatedly about the night and holding Bellamy’s hand. It’s spending time with him in a way she isn’t used to but it's also the same as it always is. It’s the way they are and it’s nice. She could definitely get used to this.

Bellamy helps Clarke up the stairs, which is overkill because she’s not so drunk she can’t walk. But she likes the gesture. He leads her into her room and instructs her to change, while he gets her a water bottle and some advil for the morning.

“Will you stay?” She asks, once she’s tucked into bed. “Please?”

She can see the exact moment his resolve crumbles and he slides into bed with her, draping an arm across her waist.

*

Clarke wakes the next morning with a pounding headache and foggy memories of the night before. She takes the advil and drains the water bottle that Bellamy must have left out for her. She’s considering just spending the first day of 2018 in bed, but she can smell pancakes, so Bellamy must be cooking for her. And he makes the best pancakes.

She gets out of bed slowly, feeling clumsy and lethargic and pulls on a pair of flannel pyjama pants that she stole from Bellamy when they first moved in together.

“Morning Princess.” Bellamy greets her, when she finally makes it into the kitchen. He turns to smile at her and the memories from the night before come crashing back. They kissed at midnight. She told him how she feels. He feels the same way. He spent the night with an arm around her waist. 

“Oh.” She breathes, unable to stop the smile on her face.

“Oh?” He asks, turning the stove off and placing the frying pan on the sink.

“Yeah, I still want to kiss you.” She says, crossing the kitchen and throwing her arms around his shoulders again. She’s so glad she remembers, because forgetting her first kiss with Bellamy would be criminal.

“Thank god.” He says, leaning in to kiss her again. The second kiss is better than the first. She’s not drunk and she knows for sure they both want this. That it’s going to be something that lasts. It’s not a one time thing.

“I’ve wanted to do that basically forever too.” Bellamy says, when they pull apart. They’re both a little breathless, but smiling still. Her cheeks are going to be so sore. “Happy New Years, Clarke.”

“Happy New Years, Bell.”

And it was a happy year. It was one of the best of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was another 'I drank too much and decided to write Bellarke' moment. Don't judge me too hard. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are my favourite.
> 
> Come be my friend on tumblr, [here](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/) or [here](https://not-a-total-basket-case.tumblr.com/)


	14. We should be more than friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke have managed to keep the fact they are sleeping together a secret for three months. Octavia manages to figure it out in one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this in like forty five minutes instead of sleeping which is my standard.  
> Unedited, which is also my standard. 
> 
> This chapter is probably rated M, for mentions of sex and stuff. So if that's not your thing, just skip this one!

Bellamy’s got his mouth on Clarke’s neck and a hand down her pants when he hears a key in the lock of his apartment. He thanks every deity he knows that the lock is broken and takes a couple of seconds of jiggling to get undone. He’s also grateful that they haven’t bothered to undress yet. It gives them just a second longer to right themselves.

Clarke glances at him, panic in her eyes as she pulls away from him and fumbles to do up her jeans. Bellamy shuffles away from her on the couch, straightening his shirt and positioning himself in a way that whoever is on the other side of that door can’t see his current state of arousal.

“What the fuck?” Clarke hisses at him when she’s righted herself, the only hint at what they were just doing is the flush in her cheeks.

Miller was supposed to be away with work for a week, so the apartment was _supposed_ to be empty. Which meant Bellamy had invited Clarke over. Their relationship had started rocky, all snarky comments and cruel insults. The only reason they even tolerated each other was their mutual friendships.

That however, had all changed one night when they’d both had one too many drinks. Raven had made an offhand comment about them ‘fucking’ away the sexual tension and that maybe it would make them friends. They’d both scoffed at the idea, rolling their eyes at each other but it didn’t stop Bellamy pressing Clarke against a wall of his apartment three hours later as they did indeed fuck away their sexual tension.

The arrangement has been going on for about three months now and Raven was right. Without the tension (sexual or not), they were good friends. He found himself dialling her number for reasons other than a booty call more and more often. Sometimes they even got dinner and watched a movie first. Not that they were going on dates, but they weren’t just sleeping together. They had something more. An actual friendship.

He’s not going to lie, if Clarke told him she wanted to go on dates and hang out and be in a relationship, he’d be all for it. But she’s never given him any indication that she wants more than sex. Which is a little unfortunate, because he’s kind of in love with her. She’s smart, funny and passionate about the things she cares about. And she’ll fight with him until they’re both red in the face and practically shouting at each other. It’s just about everything he wants in a relationship.

“I don’t know.” Bellamy hisses, turning to face the door.

“Hey Bell.” Octavia says, as she walks into the apartment, completely oblivious to her best friend sitting on the couch beside her brother. “What are you doing tonight? All my friends bailed on me, so want to watch a movie and get pizz – oh, hey Clarke?”

“O.” Bellamy says, trying to keep the annoyance off his face. The other thing about their arrangement was that they hadn’t told anyone. They’d agreed that their friends were too meddlesome and it was strictly sex. Why would anyone need to know? “When did I give you a key?”

“Miller gave me the spare.” Octavia says. “What are you doing here?”

“Bellamy and I were going to watch Brooklyn 99.” Clarke smiles, doing a better job of pretending they weren’t just about to have sex than he is. “He hasn’t seen any of it and I thought I should educate him.” _Wrong._ They’d tried to watch the first episode the night before but hadn’t even made it halfway through before they ended up in the bedroom.

“Yeah. He’s a disgrace.” Octavia agrees, dropping onto the couch between them. “You should have invited me though. I’m offended.”

“It wasn't really planned." Clarke shrugs.

“You have a hickey on your neck.” Octavia smiles, reaching forward and pointing at the spot Bellamy’s mouth had been minutes before.

“I went home with someone last night.” Clarke mumbles, cheeks reddening. _‘No hickey’s.’_ Clarke’s told him a thousand times. But they can’t help it. He knows they both like the added excitement of seeing them later.

“Tell me everything!” Octavia says excitedly, turning to Clarke and effectively blocking Bellamy from the conversation. Which is probably for the best. His face is probably as red as Clarke’s and she is a way better liar than him.

“Ugh,” Clarke begins, glancing desperately at Bellamy for help. But he’s as lost as she is. They’ve never been this close to being caught.

“You’re right.” Octavia decides, also looking back at him. “Tell me when this loser isn’t around.”

“Fuck you.” Bellamy says, shoving his sister.

They get Brooklyn 99 playing and Bellamy tries to shove down the disappointment of Octavia joining their night. It’s not even the fact he’s not going to get laid. He’s disappointed that Clarke isn’t next to him, he doesn’t get to put an arm around her or flirt with her as much as he’d like. He really has to dial it back when people are around.

Around the third episode, Clarke get’s up and disappears into the kitchen for a couple of minutes. He doesn’t say anything, but Octavia’s eyes follow her curiously.

“You seem to know your way around.” She says, when Clarke comes back a few minutes later with reheated leftovers and a drink for each of them. He tenses slightly, because he and Clarke had cooked this together the night before and she is supposed to have never been to his apartment.

“Bellamy helped me study for that shitty art history exam.” Clarke shrugs. “I needed a lot of snacks to get me through that.” It’s not a lie. Clarke had kept what he thought would have been a life time supply of chocolate at his house when they had been studying together. It had lasted her a week.

“Right.” Octavia says, glancing between them. He can see the gears in her head whirring and he doesn’t like not knowing what she’s thinking. But they’ve been so careful, she can’t possibly know?

They get through an entire episode before they slip up again. Bellamy’s been in jeans all day, which is definitely overdressed for his own apartment, so he slips into his bedroom to change. He pulls on an old pair of sweats and grabs a hoodie off the end of his bed for Clarke. He knows she hates being in her street clothes when she doesn’t have to be. And if they’d finished what they had started earlier, she would have already had this hoodie on.

He tosses it at her when he returns to the couch and he sees Octavia’s frown deepen. That’s when he realises where he’s fucked up. The hoodie is already Clarke’s, one she had stolen from Wells. One that looks very similar to several of his own when it’s inside out and on his laundry pile.

“Fuck.” He mutters.

“Okay, spill it.” Octavia demands, standing up to face them with her hands on her hips. He never really had to deal with an angry mother, but this is probably what it feels like. “When did it start?”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asks, though it’s futile. She’s figured it out.

“Don’t play dumb.” Octavia snaps. “When did whatever is happening between the two of you start.”

“Nothing is happening.” Bellamy tries, glancing at Clarke. She’s already looking at him with wide eyes. They never talked about what would happen if any of their friends found out.

“Shut up, Bellamy.” Octavia rolls her eyes. “There is a hickey on your neck and I know for a fact that you two left around the same time last night. You’re here together, which is weird because you messaged me ‘ _Sorry O, I have to study tonight,’_ when I asked if you wanted to hang out. You know the way around his kitchen and you’ve got her clothes in your bedroom. So I'll ask again. When did it start?”

“Three months ago.” Clarke admits, looking away from Bellamy and back to Octavia.

“Wow.” Octavia says, nodding her head but not looking nearly as angry as Bellamy had thought she would. She actually looks kind of pleased. “Took you guys long enough.”

“It doesn’t mean anything though.” Bellamy says hurriedly, before groaning and running his hand through his hair. Clarke is looking at him with hurt evident on her face.

“Right. You’re a fucking dick.” Octavia says, with exaggerated slowness. “Well, I’m going to go and leave you to sort this shit out.”

She collects her things and rolls her eyes at them once more good measure, before leaving the apartment. Bellamy groans again because he’s going to have to tell Clarke that of course he didn’t mean she meant nothing to him, just that they weren’t in a relationship. Which means they’re going to talk about how they feel, which is a conversation he’s been avoiding. Because he doesn’t know how to have it without saying he’s in love with her.

“I’m sorry.” He says, focussing his gaze on the TV because he can’t bring himself to look at her. “I didn’t mean that. You know you mean something to me.”

“Do I?” Clarke asks. He feels her move closer to him and then a hand is on his cheek, turning his head so he has to look at her.

“Of course, Clarke.” Bellamy mutters. “You’re like my favourite person to hang out with.”

“Because of the really good sex, right?” _Because I’m in love with you._

“Amongst other things.” He agrees.

“What other things?”

“Fuck. I like spending time with you. I don’t care if we don’t have sex.” It feels like a lot to admit, their whole agreement is based on sleeping together. But it’s true. He’d give it up, as long as he got to keep their friendship.

“What if I wanted to keep having sex,” Clarke begins slowly, “but I wanted to do other things as well?”

“Like what?” He asks. He’s pretty sure he knows where this is going, but he can’t really believe it. She’s never acted like she wants him that way.

“This.” She says, before leaning in slowly, as though giving him the chance to back away. He doesn’t though, he surges forward, pressing his lips against hers. She winds her arms around his neck and tangles her hands in his hair. It’s not the first time they’ve kissed, not even close. But it’s the only time he’s let it feel like something real. It’s soft and gentle, full of promise of everything he tried not to let himself want.

“I want to be your girlfriend, Bell.” She whispers, when she pulls away. "I don't want to hide."

“Thank fuck.” He says, pulling her forward again. She’s laughing when her lips meet his this time, which is fine, because he can’t stop grinning. He’s got the girl he loves and all he had to do was almost be caught by his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are the best ever! 
> 
> Tumblr is [here](https://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/). Feel free to come tell me to get my shit together and update something. Also if you need to yell about Bellarke, hit me up.


	15. Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very loosely based B99 oneshot  
> Clarke goes undercover and tells Bellamy how she feels before she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited, standard me. 
> 
> I have watched entirely too much Brooklyn 99 in the last two weeks and it's so good? Why didn't anyone tell me? Anyway, this scene from the beginning of season 2 (?) was great. I couldn't help but borrow it for Bellarke.

**_Undercover_ **

_“Detective Blake.” Clarke shouts, jogging to catch up with him. He’s obviously leaving for the day, but he turns from shoving things in his car to look at her._

_“Hey Griffin.” He says, smiling at her. “I thought you would be gone by now.”_

_“I should be.” She admits, glancing over her shoulder for Captain Kane. She knows he’s probably in his office. This kind of thing probably requires a lot of paperwork. She’s not jealous. “But I wanted to see you before I left.”_

_“Yeah, I’m glad you did.” He agrees. “I wanted to wish you good luck.”_

_“Thanks.” Clarke says, taking a breath. If she doesn’t do this now, she’s going to regret it. Especially if she gets herself killed. But that doesn’t make it any easier. “So going undercover means I don’t get to see any of you until this shit is dealt with.”_

_“Yeah, what a shame.” Bellamy teases. “I’ll bet you miss us.”_

_“I will.” Clarke admits. “But I wanted to tell you this, in case something happens to me.”_

_“What’s up?” He asks, furrowing his brow like he does when he’s worried about someone. So basically always._

_“I like you, Bellamy.” She says, feeling the blush creep up on her face. “You’re a great detective and a good friend and I like you. And I know you’re with Gina, but I feel like I’ve essentially been lying to everyone forever. I don’t hate you. Kind of the opposite, really.”_

_“Shit, Clarke.” Bellamy says, looking at her in surprise. “I’m with Gina. We’re – I’m into her.”_

_“I know.” Clarke assures him, “And I don’t expect this to change anything. I just wanted you to know. Just in case.”_

_“Nothing is going to happen to you.” He promises, reaching for her and pulling her into a hug. She lets herself enjoy it, for just a moment, before pulling away. She has work to do._

 

* * *

 

That was six months ago. Clarke hasn’t seen Bellamy since. Hasn’t seen any of her friends since then.

It’s been hard, but it’s done. The case is over. They arrested the guy they were after, plus three of his accomplices. She got out without getting in to too much trouble and no one was hurt. And she managed to clear the name of the daughter, able to prove that Lexa wasn’t involved in anything.

She’s nervous to be going back to her precinct though. She hopes the Captain had adequately explained why she had to leave, said that she was sorry. She’d left in such a hurry, having no time to say goodbye to anyone except Bellamy. And then she’d left things so weird. She hopes he hadn’t told anyone what she said. That would be embarrassing.

But as she steps into the precinct, she’s greeted by cheers and hugs and congratulations from her friends and co-workers and she knows she was wrong to have thought even for a second that things would be weird. These people are her family. They understand why she had to leave the way she did.

“Anything exciting happen while I was gone?” She asks, when she extricates herself from Jasper’s second embrace and she’s greeted everyone else adequately.

“Not really.” Miller shrugs. “Nothing nearly as exciting as your big break.”

“Reyes cracked the hacker case?” Monty offers, to which Clarke offers her own congratulations because they’d been working on that together before she left and it was a tough one.

“Because I’m awesome.” Raven says, accepting the praise with a smug grin.

“Bellamy got most arrests?” Jasper says, as though it’s a surprise. Bellamy is the best detective they have (Clarke not included, obviously).

“How could you guys let this happen?” Clarke teases, avoiding Bellamy’s eyes because she’s not sure how to look at him right now. After she had confessed what she had and then disappeared for six months.

“I know this is very exciting, but don’t you have work to do?” Kane calls, stepping out of his office and somehow staring at them all individually. Clarke smiles fondly as her friends return to their stations in a rush. “Griffin, a word?”

Clarke follows him back into his office, pulling the door shut behind her.

“Congratulations on the case.” Kane says, when she sits in front of his desk. “Obviously we have a lot of paperwork to complete and I need you to sign all of this already.” He gestures to a stack on the deck and Clarke nods.

“Of course, sir.” She says, reaching for a pen. Kane’s a good captain; he’s supportive, kind, firm, knows how to motivate everyone and he’s taught her just about everything she knows.

“And if you could have the report ready by the end of the week.” He says, as she signs the last page. She tries not to sigh aloud because that paperwork is going to be a bitch. Instead she nods, leaving the office and almost stepping straight into Bellamy. The rest of the precinct is focused on their tasks, leaving Clarke to deal with Bellamy on her own. She’s not nervous. They’re friends. Friends who fight and flirt and get on each other’s nerves. A friend who she basically confessed she was in love with.

“Clarke.” He says, as though he’s surprised to have run into her.

“Hey.” She smiles. “Ready to have some competition back in the building?” Teasing is easy territory for them. It’s where they always are. If they can tease each other, everything has gone back to normal and what she confessed is forgotten.

“Can I talk to you?” Bellamy asks, ignoring her jibe completely. Definitely not back to normal. She nods, following him out of the office and into the evidence room. It’s where everyone goes when they need time out or need to have a private conversation. The fact that Bellamy is leading her in here, makes her palms sweaty.

“What’s up?” She asks, after they’ve been standing in silence for a moment.

“Before you left,” Bellamy begins, after taking a deep breath. “Did you mean what you said?’

“Yeah.” Clarke says quietly after a moment. She thought about playing dumb and asking what he meant. But there really isn’t any point. She knows exactly what he’s talking about and he would see right through her.

“Do you still?” He asks. He sounds shy, which is a new thing, but it’s kind of endearing.

“Yeah.” Clarke says again. “But it doesn’t have to mean anything. I’ve kind of been sitting on it for a while. Nothing has to change.”

“I broke up with Gina.” Bellamy says, after another moment’s silence.

“I’m sorry.”

“It was because of what you said.”

“Shit, I’m really sorry.” Clarke says, running her hand through her ponytail. “I didn’t want you to do that.”

“It took a while, but I really thought about what you said.” Bellamy tells her, scrubbing his hand over his face. “And I realised you were right. I don’t hate you. I never did.”

“I hated you a bit to start with.” Clarke manages to tease him, leaning over to nudge his shoulder gently.

“Shut up, Griffin.” Bellamy smiles. “Let me finish. I don’t hate you, I actually really like you. And I have for a while.”

“Like, like me?” Clarke asks, before she can stop herself, a feeling of hope swelling in her stomach.

“Yeah, Griffin. Like, like you. We’re using middle school terminology.” Bellamy says, shaking his head slightly. “Do you want to get dinner or something tonight?”

“To celebrate me coming back to take my rightful place as best detective?” Clarke taunts, a delighted grin spreading over her face.

“God. Why do I like you? You’re the worst.” Bellamy groans, putting his hands on her waist and pulling her forward. She doesn’t let him say anything else, instead winds her arms around his neck and tugs him down until her mouth meets his.

“I’m not the worst.” She says, when they pull away far too soon. But they’re at work and it’s definitely not the place.

“You’re pretty close to it.” He says, leaning down to kiss her again.

And maybe this is better than normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are amazing! 
> 
> Apparently I don't know how to write chapters for my WIPs anymore and can only keep starting new one shots and drabbles? Sorrrry guys. Come yell at me on Tumblr, [here](http://raven-reyes-of-sunshine.tumblr.com/), I need someone to tell me to get my shit together.


	16. Everybody let's take shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy kiss while drunk. Bellamy assumes she doesn't remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WAS SO DRUNK WHEN I WROTE THIS. If you follow me on tumblr you would have seen my brief argument with myself over whether or not I should write or watch B99. I did both in the end. So I'm blaming two bottles of wine for the title and basically the whole thing. Sorry not sorry!

“I don’t even want to go.” Bellamy grumbles, stepping into the lounge room and dropping his shoes beside the couch. It’s his sisters twenty first birthday and she’s insisting on going to a club. _A club._

“Poor baby.” Clarke teases, stepping behind him and digging her fingers into the sore spots on his shoulders. He groans a little as she works the tension out of his muscles.

“Can we just stay home all night and you do that?” He asks, trying to keep his eyes open.

“Nope.” Clarke says, popping the ‘p’. “It’s your sisters birthday and she’ll never forgive you.”

“We’re too old for clubbing.” He mutters, sighing when Clarke let’s go off his shoulders. He does reach for his shoes though. He should put them on so he can complain that Clarke isn’t ready and he is when it’s time to leave.

“You’re twenty-five. I’m twenty-three.” Clarke deadpans, turning away from him and walking into her room.

“I’m at least a hundred years older than you in maturity though.” Bellamy calls to her and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes at him.

“You lose age points for saying shit like that.” Clarke yells back. “Come zip me.”

She’d done her hair and makeup already and she’s stepped into a black dress, which shows a lot more cleavage than he was really prepared for. It’s hanging loose around her shoulders and she’s facing the mirror, glancing over at him expectantly so he has to force himself to move. He’s known her forever. They’re best friends and roommates, but that’s it. So he shouldn’t be staring at her, no matter how good she looks. Or how much he’s in love with her.

That’s his issue to deal with. Not hers.

“I was thinking,” Clarke begins slowly, smirking at him once he’s zipped her in, “that we make a drinking game out of this.” She reaches over and holds up a half empty bottle of vodka that they had started on the weekend before.

“Oh yeah?” He grins. Getting drunk with Clarke would definitely improve the night. “What are the rules?”

“Every time we get a weird message in the group chat, we drink. Every two minutes the taxi is late, we drink.”

“Every time Octavia reminds me I have to come, we drink.” Bellamy adds, holding up his phone so Clarke can see the fiftieth message Octavia has sent.

“Let’s do this.” Clarke grins, bringing the bottle to her lips and screwing her face up. She hands it to him and he makes a point to keep a straight face as the liquor burns his throat.

“Jasper just texted ‘ _let’s get crunk’_ with at least ten ‘u’s.” Bellamy says. “That counts as a weird message?”

“Drink.” Clarke agrees, holding her hand out for the bottle after he’s had his mouthful.

They get a weirdly ambiguous message from Miller asking if Monty is coming and then Raven sends one with five uses of the word ‘fuck’ and they count it just in case they don’t get anything else weird. But then Harper asks if she can put glitter in her hair and they drink to that too. Octavia messages Clarke because Bellamy hasn’t replied, so they drink to that. Their taxi is ten minutes late, so they have five drinks and then they drink once extra because ten is a nice even number.

By the time they’re leaving the apartment he’s feeling pleasantly buzzed and he puts Clarke safely in the tipsy category. The taxi driver rolls his eyes as Clarke enthusiastically tells him where they’re going and then chats loudly the whole time. Bellamy tips him extra because Clarke shouts ‘ _good day, kind sir,’_ when he pulls into the car park of the club.

“You made it!” Octavia exclaims when she catches sight of them. She launches herself at them and Bellamy manages to catch her and put one hand behind Clarke’s back to stop them toppling over.

“Bit drunk, O?” He teases.

“You should be a bit drunk.” Octavia retorts, pulling them towards the bar.

“We played a drinking game before we got here.” Clarke confesses, a huge grin on her face. “So I am a bit drunk.”

“Bellamy won a drinking game?” Octavia asks dubiously, before leaning over the bar to order them drinks.

“No.” Clarke says, petulant. “He’s just bigger. His muscles hold more alcohol.”

“My muscles, huh?” Bellamy grins, wrapping an arm around Clarke’s waist and using the other hand to take the shot Octavia has handed him.

“You have nice muscles.” Clarke agrees, throwing her head back to take the shot and then burying her face in his chest when she realises its tequila. He pats her hair gently, the alcohol giving him the confidence he normally lacks. She doesn’t seem to mind, leaning into him further and wrapping an arm around him.

“Blake.” Raven shouts over the music, pushing through the crowd to stand beside him. “Let go of Griffin. She needs to dance with me.”

“Rae!” Clarke shouts excitedly, shooting Bellamy an apologetic smile as she extricates herself from him.

“You know she would be happy if you made a move.” Octavia says, before she leaves to join Clarke and Raven on the dance floor. He smiles fondly after them, feeling a little dizzy with possibility. Because maybe Octavia is right?

He doesn’t see Clarke for a while after that. He plays a round of pool with Miller and Murphy, finds Jasper and Monty by the bar and talks to them for a bit, he catches up with Echo (who he dated for five minutes – but she was too intense and frightening for him) and he orders more shots.

By the time he finds Clarke again, an hour has passed and they’re both significantly drunker than before.

“You know,” she says, linking their hands, “Jasper said something weird to me before.”

“Do we need to take a shot, princess?” He grins, the old nickname sliding off his tongue. He hasn’t used it in a while, because it started off as an insult. Now he laces it with affection.

“We definitely need to do all the shots.” Clarke confirms, tugging him towards the bar. He ignores the knowing looks he gets from his friends and focuses on not laughing (he is the mature one after all) as Clarke orders ‘ _two buttery nipples’_ with a straight face.

They link their arms as they throw the shots back and Clarke is giggling when she fumbles to put the glass back on the bar.

“Let’s go verse Harper and Monroe at darts.” She says, lacing their fingers together again. They play the girls, who are substantially more sober than he and Clarke, so they annihilate them.

“That was embarrassing, Blake.” Monroe tells him, when his final shot hits the wall beside the board. He hums noncommittally, turning to face Clarke who has just returned with new drinks for them both. She drops onto one of the tall bar stools and gestures for him to do the same.

“It was probably a good idea to come out.” Bellamy admits after a moment. He’s having a great night. And Clarke is definitely leaning into him again.

Miller and Monty join them at the table, both looking at them questioningly. But he’s too drunk to come up with any kind of answer, so he just shrugs and wraps an arm around her shoulders again. She sighs happily and it’s the best.

They chat about their classes for a while, which is a lot harder when alcohol is involved and then they move onto heckling their friends. Miller buys another round of drinks and Clarke doesn’t leave his side for a second.

“Come dance with me?” Clarke practically purrs, her hand on his thigh. It’s really distracting if he’s honest.

“Sure.” Bellamy decides, because he’s drunk enough to not think he’s too cool to dance.

She wraps her arms around his neck and he puts his on her waist and it feels weirdly middle school dance, but they’re pressed much closer. And when she tugs him down to kiss him, those feelings pretty much evaporate. He get’s lost in the feel of her lips on his and practically groans when she opens her mouth. There’s a tiny part of him yelling that they’re drunk and they probably shouldn’t be doing this, but it’s mostly overpowered by the fact he’s finally kissing Clarke. And she was the one who initiated it.

“Should we go home?” Clarke asks, after pull away. They’ve definitely been making out on the dance floor for too long now.

“Definitely.” Bellamy decides, taking her hand and leading her out of the club. He’ll message their friends later. No one is going to care if they disappear together. They’ve been rooting for this for too long.

*

Bellamy wakes up at around four am with a pounding headache, a disgusting taste in his mouth and foggy memories from last night. He’s also in an unfamiliar bed, which is weird because he had pretty much given up on hooking up since he realised he was in love with Clarke.

He rolls onto his side, trying to remember where he is and has to supress a groan when he realises who’s bed he’s woken up in. Clarke is sleeping beside him, wearing only his shirt, her blonde hair fanned out over the pillow and _shit_. His memories start coming back in waves. The stupid drinking game they’d come up with, doing way too many shots with her, practically spending the night wrapped around each other, making out on the dance floor. Then they’d left, but by the time they’d gotten back to the apartment, he had to hold her hair back as she threw up in the toilet for twenty minutes. He’d helped her brush her teeth and put her to bed but she’d begged him to stay with her.

Which is why he has to get up before she wakes. She’s not going to remember last night, a Clarke that throws up is a Clarke that forgets what she did. And if she doesn’t remember kissing him, she sure as hell isn’t going to be happy when she wakes and he’s in her bed.

*

He wakes up again at ten and his hangover has subsided slightly, thanks to the advil and the bottle of water he had earlier. It takes him a moment to figure out it’s the grinding of the coffee machine that woke him.

He half stumbles into the kitchen, where Clarke is standing (still without pants and it’s a little off-putting) preparing two mugs.

“Hey.” He says, leaning against the wall. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” She says, adding more sugar to her coffee than should be legal and not looking at him. “You?”

“Alright.” He says, reaching for his mug before she can contaminate it. He really wants to talk about their kiss but he’s not sure how to bring it up. He’s not even sure if he wants to mention it if she doesn’t remember. He should have never gotten drunk enough to think kissing her was a good idea. (Well, he pretty much always thinks it's a good idea, but he shouldn't have gotten drunk enough to act on it.)

“Octavia messaged me earlier.” Clarke says. “She says she thinks she might never recover.”

“Did she throw up too?” Bellamy teases, because teasing is easy and he doesn’t need to overthink that. They always tease each other.

“Yeah.” Clarke smiles a little. “Thanks for holding my hair back. I know it’s pretty gross.”

Bellamy doesn’t respond for a second, because if she remembers that, what else does she remember? “You’re welcome.”

They chat about the party for a little longer, discussing their friends and whatever has already been posted to social media. She doesn’t give him any indication she remembers kissing him. So he doesn’t say anything. It can just be something weird that happened.

It’s not much later that Clarke’s hangover needs to relocate to the couch and watch something lame on Netflix. He let’s her pick _Scrubs_ even though he’s not a fan because he’s a little in love with her. He smiles when she settles her feet in his lap and rubs the balls of her feet. This is what they are. All casual affection. He’d rather have this than make it weird by mentioning a kiss she doesn’t remember.

*

But even without her knowing, things get a little weird. And because (as discussed) he’s mature, he starts avoiding her. It’s hard to just be her best friend when he knows what it’s like to kiss her and wake up beside her. So he stays late at work, has dinner at Octavia’s twice and spends a night at the bar sulking with Miller and doesn’t go home until Clarke is in bed. It’s working well and maybe if he keeps ignoring his feelings they’ll go aware.

That is until Clarke confronts him about it a week later.

“Are you ignoring me?” She asks when he pushes the door of their apartment open after he was sure she’d be asleep.

“Shit.” He mutters, jumping at the sound of her voice. She was sitting in the dark, probably trying to make him think she wasn’t home.

“Well?” She pushes when he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t answer, just switches the lamp on drops down beside her. He doesn’t have an excuse without confessing what he’s doing.

“You are, aren’t you?” She sighs, dropping her head back against the couch.

“I’m sorry.” He says after another moment’s silence.

“Why?” She asks, looking over at him. “I know we made it awkward by hooking up. But it doesn’t have to keep being awkward. You’re my best friend.”

“Wait.” Bellamy says slowly, taking a second to comprehend what she said. “You remember?” If she remembers everything about the last week is different and he suddenly feels like a huge dick for avoiding her and not just manning up and talking about his feelings.

“Yeah?” Clarke says, looking at him with furrowed brows. “But I know we were just drunk. You don’t have to avoid me because of it.”

“I wasn’t.” Bellamy tells her, shaking his head. “I wasn’t just drunk.” He might as well be honest now, so they can just put the conversation behind them and never talk about it again. He’s tired of having to skirt around his feelings for her. She deserves to know, even if she doesn’t feel the same way.

“You weren’t?” She asks softly, a small smile on her lips. And for a moment he lets himself think that maybe she does love him back.

“No. I was drunk, sure. But that’s not why.” Bellamy admits, letting himself meet her eye. She’s watching him with a look that’s almost hopeful.

“And you thought I didn’t remember?”

“You never said anything about it.” Bellamy says, a little defensive. “I assumed you’d forgotten. Otherwise I probably would have done it again.”

“I thought it just a one time thing, because when I woke up, you were in your own bed.”

“I didn’t want you to regret anything.”

“I regret the fact you’ve been avoiding me for a week.” Clarke says and he feels a wave of guilt. “But I don’t regret kissing you.”

“Can I kiss you now then?” He asks, before he can stop himself. He grins when she nods and leans in slowly, giving her time to pull back if she wants to. But she instead she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him forward, pressing her lips to his. Kissing her is so much better when they’re both sober and not in the middle of a nightclub. It’s easy to get lost in the feel of her lips on his and they’re both a little breathless when they pull apart.

“Maybe talk to me next time you think I’ve forgotten something.” She tells him, shoving him gently. He let’s her shove push him over so he’s laying on the couch.

“Definitely.” He promises, reaching for her hand and pulling her towards him so he can kiss her again. “I’m really into you, just in case I haven’t made that clear.”

“I’m really into you too.” She says.

He wakes up in her bed again the next morning and this time he doesn’t leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone should probably tell me not to drink and write. About halfway through I started writing Bob instead of Bellamy. It made editing this very confusing.
> 
> Is Scrubs on Netflix? Idk. Australian Netflix has nothing. 
> 
> For some reason, I'm still having trouble with new chapters on my WIPs, so oneshots it is! (one shots?) 
> 
> Comments and kudos are the best, let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> Tumblr is [here](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/) if you want to yell at me about anything.


	17. Promise I'll be the cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke + Clarke gets really sick

Clarke comes into his tent coughing out her lungs. He winces, because he’s a big brother - not because of any bottled up feelings he has for her that he’s not dealing with. His feelings for her are strictly platonic and barely even friends.

“Fuck, Princess.” He mutters, turning to glare at her. “Mind keeping your germs to yourself?”

“Shut up.” Clarke mumbles, stumbling slightly as she drops onto his bed. “It’s just a cold. We have to talk about the-”

He assumes she was going to say grounders, but another coughing fit takes over before she finishes her sentence. He winces again. She’s getting sickness all over his tent.

“Just sit there for a sec.” Bellamy says, lifting the flap of his tent and stepping out. “I’m going to get you some water.” Which he’d do for anyone. And they can’t have this conversation is she can’t stop coughing.

He’s gone less than five minutes, but by the time he gets back she is already asleep on his bed. He smiles to himself slightly as he sets the cup beside her and steps out. She doesn’t get enough sleep, with an army of unruly teenage delinquents always needing her for one thing or another. He’s going to let her get a few hours rest, then they can talk about the grounders.

“The princess is asleep.” Bellamy calls the camp, trying not to raise his voice enough to wake her. “If you wake her up for anything less than a missing limb, you’ll have me to answer to.” His warning is met with mixed reactions; eye rolls, catcalls, nervous glances, giggles and a knowing look from Miller. But Miller has no idea what he’s talking about, so Bellamy has no trouble ignoring that. He’s just making sure his co-leader is okay.

“Why is she in your tent?” Octavia asks cheerfully, skipping up to him. The ground has been good for her. She’s happier than he’s ever seen her. Even with the threat of war constantly looming over their heads.

“She just wanted to talk. But she’s sick.” Bellamy shrugs, aiming for nonchalance. “So she fell asleep.”

“Right.” Octavia smirks, giving him the same look Miller was. Bellamy glares at his sister and she grins back.

He waits three hours before checking on Clarke again, forcing himself to do some chores and check on the building of the wall first. He yells at Murphy, comforts one of the younger kids and checks the food supply before he decides to check on Clarke again.

She’s still asleep when he opens the flap but she stirs when he steps inside.

“Hey.” He murmurs softly, dropping down beside her.  

“Bell’my.” Clarke mumbles, fisting her hand into his shirt and tugging him. She doesn’t have much strength, but he drops down beside her.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, letting himself (platonically) push a lock of her hair off face. He groans a little when his fingers touch her sweaty skin, because she’s hot. And he doesn’t know how to treat a fever.

“Cold.”

“You’re burning up.” He tells her, carding his fingers gently through her hair and making soothing noises.

“But it’s cold.” She whines and his stomach twists. He doesn’t like seeing her like this.

“Just try and get some more sleep.” He tells her. He doesn’t need the only person they have with any medical training too sick to help.

“Don’t go, kay?” Clarke groans, pressing closer to him and coughing again. He turns his head away, because they can’t both be sick. The camp will be in anarchy.

“I’m right here.” He says gently, looking down at her and feeling both concerned and stupidly fond. Which is a weird combination for someone he hardly even likes.

“You’re so special.” Clarke tells him, half taken by sleep already. “Couldn’t do it without you.”

“Yeah, you could.” Bellamy whispers, “but I’m glad you’re not trying to.”

“Need you.”

“You’ve got me.” He promises, letting himself lean down and kiss her forehead. She hums contentedly and then she’s asleep again.

He manages to slip out of the tent again an hour later and asks some of the more trustworthy delinquents how they can treat a fever. The general consensus is sleep and staying hydrated, because again, they have no doctors.

When she wakes up again, nearly twelve hours later, she seeks him out.

“You let me sleep for nearly an entire day!” She snaps, rounding on him with her arms crossed over her chest.The effect is slightly lessened because she sounds hoarse and congested. But at least she’s vertical again.

“How are you feeling?” Bellamy asks, instead of acknowledging what she said.

“Better. Thanks for taking care of me.” She shrugs a little sheepishly.

“I’m really special like that.” He teases and she flushes, which is good because at least she remembers what he’s talking about.

“Ugh.” She groans. “You’re the worst!”

He smirks at her as she storms off, finally admitting to himself that they’re probably friends. Maybe a little more.

 

A week later Bellamy has the fever. Clarke lays next him, a cold compress on his head, listening to him tell her how much he needs her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the anon who prompted this. I never ever thought I would be able to write canon. But I miss these two as barely platonic friends from season one?
> 
> Comments and kudos make my life! Tumblr is [here](http://mynameisnot--katlyn.tumblr.com/), if you want to send me prompts! I promise I will do them all!


	18. Test my reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - "Have you ever just wanted to kiss someone?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the fic that I got drunk and promised on Sunday night (but got distracted with the Bob and Eliza panel, how good was that? My soul couldn't handle it) and then Monday night and now it's 4am Wednesday (and a week til my birthday!) Sorry it took so long?  
> Uni is ruining my life and my writing is on hold and for that I apologise! 
> 
> Unedited and started drunk and finished sober. Feel free to tell me to get my shit together. Someone has too.
> 
> I _really _don't want to talk about where the chapter title came from!__

“Bellamy?” Clarke shouts, letting herself into his apartment with the key he had given her two years ago for ‘emergencies only.’ “I need to drink wine and sulk.”

“That sounds like a normal Friday night for you.” Bellamy says, ducking out of his room and pulling a hoodie over his head. The brief glance at his bare chest is a lot for her to handle and for a second she forgets how to respond. It’s been happening a lot as they became more comfortable with each other. Suddenly Bellamy doesn’t feel the need to keep his door closed while he’s getting changed and crosses from the bathroom to his bedroom just in his towel. It’s very distracting because he has a _fantastic_ body.

“It is.” Clarke agrees, when she focuses back on his face. It’s equally fantastic but she’s had way more time to get used to it. It’s not nearly as distracting as it used to be. “But I hate my job, so it’s reasonable.”

“So you want to take advantage of my hospitality?” Bellamy teases.

“Absolutely.” Clarke says, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of wine. She smiles when she reads the label. “Though it’s hardly taking advantage if you’re buying the wine only I drink.”

“I felt like drinking beer tonight.” Bellamy shrugs, leaning over her and taking one from the fridge. “So I got something you wouldn’t complain about.”

“Whatever.” Clarke grins, which softens into a smile when he hands her a glass. She fills her glass with more than a standard drink and smirks at Bellamy when he gives her a judging look.

She’s been friends with Bellamy for less than a year but once they started getting along, he very quickly became her favourite person. Before they did everything they could to make the other mad, earning her several lectures from her friends to _just give him a chance._ She hadn’t been intending on giving him one, but then after the worst day of work, she’d been locked out of her apartment and Octavia (who had her spare key) hadn’t been around. Octavia had told her to call Bellamy and he’d unlock her apartment and they could get the spare key.

Reluctantly, she called him and he not only came to pick her up before getting the key but also bought her a coffee. He hadn’t laughed at her or teased her and somehow managed to say the only words that made her feel better. He ended up staying, ordering pizza and watching dumb comedy until they were friends.

And that was all they had been, until four months ago, when Clarke realised she was definitely into him in more than a platonic way. Somehow, she hadn’t noticed at all until Raven pointed it out one night and it hit her like a bus. He wasn’t just her friend anymore, not even just her best friend. She was in love with him. Which was really inconvenient because she had no idea what to do about it.

Now that she knows, it’s kind of hard not to be into him. He’s funny, smart and caring. He challenges her in all the best ways; knows when to keep arguing and when it’s time to back down. He cooks her dinner and regularly checks in to make sure she’s drinking enough water. It’s everything she knows she wants in a relationship and so much more. But they’re just friends who are really comfortable in each other’s apartments.

“Do you want to watch anything in particular?” Bellamy asks, dropping beside her on the couch. “Or should we just randomly pick something?”

“Shuffle through the rom-coms.” Clarke decides, taking a long sip from her glass.

“You would.” Bellamy mutters, scrolling through the Netflix screen and then holding down the button with his eyes closed. “Tell me when.”

“When.” Clarke says. He opens his eyes and groans at the title but presses play. She settles back into the couch, putting her legs in Bellamy’s lap and sipping her wine.

Bellamy gets up about twenty minutes in to get a new drink and top up hers and when he joins her on the couch, she settles into his side. It’s a step passed friendship, but how can she not when he wraps an arm around her and pulls her in closer? He’s warm and comfy and her best friend.

Clarke isn’t really watching the movie, too distracted with the patterns Bellamy is tracing on her shoulder but somehow she sees the lead take the face of her crush and kiss him. As if it were that easy. As if kissing the person you're in love with is something you just do? Seems fake. 

“Have you ever just really wanted to kiss someone?” Clarke asks and then groans internally. She definitely shouldn’t have said that aloud. Bellamy’s going to ask her who she’s talking about and she’s either going to have to lie or tell him the truth. Neither option is favourable, she doesn’t _want_ to lie to him but she was happy just pretending her feelings didn’t exist. She could just pretend it was a general question, but he’d see right through her. He _knows_ her.

“What’s stopping you?” He asks, after a moment’s silence while still absently running his fingers up and down her arm. It's not what she was expecting and for a second, it doesn’t feel platonic and she thinks maybe he shares her feelings. But then she remembers the photo of himself wearing a beanie and holding his pen for a moustache he’d sent her this morning captioned ‘ _when you’re substantially better looking than your best friend._ ’ Best friend. He doesn't think of her that way. 

And so instead of answering, she shrugs her shoulders and drains her glass, nudging him with her elbow until he relents and gets up to refill it. She watches him fondly as he adds two ice-blocks to her glass before topping it up. This is why she can’t tell him. He’s her best friend and she needs him to be that. She doesn’t need to complicate their relationship by bringing her feelings into it.

But then he pulls a packet of her favourite cookies from the pantry and she can’t help but wonder if it’s normal for a best friend to do things like that? Clarke doesn’t keep Raven’s favourite type of gin in her cupboard, she just makes her drink vodka. She’s never stocked up on Octavia’s favourite snacks, but she definitely has a packet of the crackers Bellamy likes to eat when he’s studying in her apartment. She sure as hell wouldn’t snuggle with Jasper or Monty while watching a movie and she’d find it weird and not endearing if Murphy was tracing patterns on her arm.

She’s never even considered the possibility that Bellamy might be into her as well, but now watching him walk back to the couch and smile at her, she can’t help it. _What’s stopping her?_

“Hey Bell?” She asks, taking her glass and putting it on the floor beside the couch.

“Mm?” He hums, sitting down and holding his arm out for her to slide back in. It’s not just platonic. It can’t be.

She doesn’t say anything for a moment but puts a hand on his cheek, tipping her face up to his and giving him a chance to pull away if this isn’t what he wants. He doesn’t though, just tightens one arm around her waist and drops the other to her hip, looking at her expectantly.

“You’re the one I really want to kiss.” She admits finally. It takes him a second to register her words but then his mouth is crashing against hers. She wraps her arms around his neck, tugging him closer and tangling her hands in his hair. He tastes a little like the beer he’s been drinking but it doesn’t matter because she’s _finally_ kissing Bellamy and he seems to want it as much as she does. He shivers as she scratches her nails on his scalp and pulls her closer still and she sighs, opening her mouth to him.

All too soon he pulls back and she whines a little, following him and pressing kisses to his jaw when he gets too far away.

“You’re the one I want too, Clarke.” Bellamy says, smiling down at her. “But not just to kiss.”

“I don’t just want to kiss you either.” Clarke says, unable to keep the grin off her face.

"Good. Because I want everything with you." He whispers, pulling her close again and kissing her gently. 

And yeah, taking the risk and kissing Bellamy was definitely worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are forever the sunshine in my soul! <3 
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr so I can rant to someone that Bellarke is finally going to be canon,[HERE](http://raven-reyes-of-sunshine.tumblr.com/)!!!!!


	19. Operation; GCGL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke + "If I kiss you now, I won't be able to stop."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [youleftme-clarke](http://youleftme-clarke.tumblr.com/)! I hope it improves your week!

**Operation; GCGL**

Clarke Griffin has known Bellamy Blake forever. He was her best friends brother, who somehow went from the most annoying person in the world, to one of her favourites. He’s been there for every memory she has. Grazing her knees while trying to stop kids in his grade picking on Jasper when she was six, Bellamy had run over and pushed them away from her. He’d taught her and O how to ride their bikes without training wheels. He’d been the one that encouraged her to paint the walls of her tree house, despite what her parents said. He was who she went to when her first boyfriend cheated on her, when she failed her first test and when didn’t know how to tell her parents she didn’t want to go to med school. He was there for her high school graduation and when her dad had been killed in a car accident. He helped her figure out her sexuality and dealt with the mess of her last relationship.

Bellamy’s always been there for her. And somewhere along the line, Clarke fell in love with him. But he sees her as another sister, one he’s only slightly less protective over and slightly more inclined to get drunk with. He’s someone she goes to when she’s moody or bored and just wants to hang out. She wants to spend the majority of her time with him, but she can’t. Because they’re just friends.

Which is what she’s telling Raven while they get ready for Monty’s twenty-third birthday. She’s also messaging Bellamy, who is complaining about having to go out on a Friday night. He acts an awful lot like a seventy year old man, given he’s only two years older than them.

“Are you’re sure he doesn’t like you back?” Raven asks, rummaging through Clarke’s makeup bag and pulling out a red lipstick that Clarke had recently bought but not been game to try. “Because I’m not.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Clarke shrugs. “He treats me the same as Octavia.” She’s leaning into the mirror, carefully running her eyeliner over Raven’s handiwork on her eyelid.

“He definitely doesn’t. And even if he did, he doesn’t look at you the way he looks at Octavia.” Raven scoffs, rolling her eyes. “And I can prove it.” Raven waves the lipstick that Clarke had thought she was going to use on herself in front of Clarke’s face.

“I’m not wearing that.” Clarke says, mostly because she doesn’t know how to not argue.

“You want me to prove that he’s into you?”

“He’s not, but go on.” Clarke mutters, reaching for her drink. She’s too sober for this.

“You show up, wearing this and the black dress we bought the other day and then show him that you like him.” Raven says excitedly.

“Show him that I like him?” Clarke repeats dubiously.

“Up your flirting game, Griffin.” Raven says, waggling her eyebrows. “Seduce him.”

Clarke sighs. It’s not like she doesn’t flirt with Bellamy, it’s just very low key. She sends him slightly cuter Snapchats than she does the rest of their friends and she always makes sure she seeks him out first when they go somewhere as a group. But they’ve been friends for so long that it would be weird if she suddenly started brushing up against him or make casual innuendos.

Which of course is exactly what Raven tells her to do. And with each extra sip of her drink, she’s somehow convinced that maybe it’s a good idea to at least let Bellamy know she’s interested. Then the ball is in his court. He can politely turn her down or pretend it never happened.

“Or maybe he’ll shove you up against a wall and finally make a move.” Raven suggests, a shit eating grin on her face. “Commencing Operation; get Clarke Griffin laid.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Clarke mutters and then groans when she hears the words repeated back at her. Raven recorded it. She groans again when she looks down at her phone and sees the video from Raven in the group chat.

*

Half an hour later she’s adjusting the skirt of her dress and checking her lipstick in the reflection of her phone as they walk into Monty’s favourite bar. They’re a little late, so they immediately spot their friends crammed around a table in the back corner.

“Commencing operation; GCGL.” Raven whispers and it takes everything in Clarke not to smack her as they cross the bar.

“You made it!” Monty cries enthusiastically, scampering over Jasper to throw himself at Clarke and Raven. “Jasper got me drunk.”

“Of course he did.” Raven grins.

“Hey.” Clarke glances over and sees Bellamy sliding out of his seat and stepping beside her. _Time to do this._ She leans in to give him a hug, which isn’t unusual but she makes sure to linger a little longer than necessary. It’s instantly worth it when he doesn’t pull away until she lets go. Raven gives her another grin, before purposefully turning her back to them and engaging Octavia and Miller in a conversation.

“Want to come get a drink?” She asks, putting her hand on his arm. She feels his muscles tense under the black button down he’s wearing and she rolls her eyes at him. He can’t help but show off and now that Raven’s put the idea in her head, she can’t help but think it’s for her.

“Sure thing, princess.” He says, leading the way back across the crowded room to the bar. She lets him order the first round, accepting the vodka cranberry and taking a sip through the straw. She doesn’t miss the way his eyes linger on her lips and maybe Raven was right? She raises her eyebrows questioningly at him and it’s hard to tell in the dimly lit bar, but she’s pretty sure he’s blushing.

“You look great.” He tells her.

“I know.” She smirks. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Very humble.” He mutters, putting a hand on her back as they cross the room again.

They return to their table, sliding into the booth which is now so crowded that she has to press into him to not fall off the seat. Not that she’s complaining, unnecessary touching was part of Raven’s plan. After fifteen minutes, Bellamy seems to give up and lifts his arm, draping it over the back of the chair and allowing Clarke to tuck herself into his side.

As the night gets later and Clarke gets only slightly tipsier, she finds it easier to flirt with Bellamy. A hand on his leg as she leans over the table for her drink, one hand on his arm when she laughs at his jokes, a compliment between the teasing insults they always drop. She’s being so obvious she’s getting a look from Miller, who normally just minds his own business. But at least that means Bellamy _has_ to have noticed. Even if he isn’t acting any differently right now. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed.

“Let’s dance.” Octavia calls as she returns to the table with a pitcher of whatever she and Raven had been drinking.

“O.” Lincoln mutters, shaking his head as she tries to drag him and Raven out of the booth.

“Dance with me?” Clarke asks, in what she decides is her final attempt at seducing him. If this doesn’t work, she’s going to accept that he’s not interested.

Bellamy glances at Miller with what looks like panic in his eyes, but Miller looks away. Clarke is about the give him the easy option out, when he finally concedes and laces their fingers together, letting her lead him to the small space that doubles as a dance floor.

She wraps her arms loosely around his neck in a way that could be platonic if you squinted and can’t help but smile when he puts his hands on her waist. Raven smirks at her and mouths something that looks suspiciously like ‘Operation GCGL,’ but mercifully leads Octavia and Lincoln to the other side of the dance floor.

After a slow song that has them swaying in a circle and teasing each other about their dancing technique, the music changes to something she doesn’t recognise but has a lot of bass. Before she can overthink it, she pulls him closer and tightens her arms around his nick. He freezes for a second, but then wraps his arms around her waist.

“You’re killing me, princess.” Bellamy whispers, leaning forward so their foreheads are almost touching.

“Am I?” She breathes, leaning in further.

“All night.” He mutters, meeting her eye. “And basically always. But you’re drunk, I’m not doing anything tonight.”

“I’m not drunk.” Clarke whispers. “I’ve had like two drinks since I’ve gotten here.” Her head still reeling for his confession. Basically always? Does that mean what she thinks it does?

“If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop.” Bellamy confesses, ducking his head so his mouth is pressed to the corner of hers.

“I don’t want you to stop. This is what I wanted.”

“Fuck it.” Bellamy pulls her closer and puts one hand on the back of her neck. “Promise me you’re not going to regret this in the morning?”

“I promise.” She tugs him down so his mouth finally meets hers. Kissing Bellamy is a lot like she always imagined. He’s warm and insistent, like he is with everything they do. He tastes a little like the beer he’s been drinking and a little like the gum and a little like home. It’s perfect and she never wants to stop. She can’t help the little whine that escapes when he pushes closer still and opens his mouth. But then he pulls away.

“Actually killing me.” He whispers, gently pushing a lock of her hair of her face and tucking it behind her ear.

“I tried.” She says, pressing a kiss to his jaw. She misses the contact of his lips on hers but they should probably have a conversation before they make out anymore. If only to make sure they’re on the same page before they do – anything else.

“You tried to kill me?” He teases.

“To seduce you.” She says, willing the flush off her face. This is important and Bellamy deserves to know how she feels. Especially because (and it pains her to admit it) Raven was right. He seems to love her back. “But I definitely don’t want a one time seduction.”

“Just to clarify, I’ve been into you forever.” Bellamy tells her. “And you tried to kill me tonight, to seduce me permanently.”

“Or to be your girlfriend.” She laughs a little, giddy with excitement because after years of wanting and not thinking her feelings were returning, she’s finally got Bellamy.

“Girlfriend sounds perfect.” He agrees, kissing her again.

“Operation; GCGL is a success!” Raven shouts, interrupting their kiss. “Now take this somewhere else so we don’t have to watch.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to send me prompts on tumblr, [here](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Comments and kudos make my life better! <3


	20. But your clothes say different on my bedroom floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wears Bellamy's clothes and he can't handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT THE CHAPTER TITLE. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
> 
> Unedited, but what's new (it's 3am)? 
> 
> You can definitely blame [youleftme-clarke](http://youleftme-clarke.tumblr.com/) for this and the fact that I haven't updated any of my WIPs. She encouraged this.

Bellamy has been living with Clarke for a year now and she’s a good roommate, honestly. She does her dishes and she doesn’t leave her towel lying around. She always makes sure they have milk in the fridge and when they’re both home, she usually lets him have a say in what they watch. She stress vacuums and because she’s halfway through her final semester, it means the apartment has been pretty clean of late.

But she literally never does her laundry. Which wouldn’t be a problem, if she didn’t steal his clothes when she runs out of her own. Frankly, that shouldn’t be a problem either. He’d grown up with Octavia wearing his sweatshirts and sweatpants (they were warmer and Bellamy didn’t have to turn the heating on as often). But Clarke in his clothes? That’s something else.

The first time it happens he gets home from work late and Clarke is standing at the stove, stirring a large pot of spaghetti, wearing running shorts and one of his t-shirts. He stops and stares in the doorway for a moment, unable to help himself because his attraction to Clarke is nothing new, but his attraction to Clarke in his clothes is a whole different level.

“Is that mine?” He asks after a moment, his throat a little dry.

“The shirt?” She asks without looking up from her cooking. “Yeah.”

“Why are you wearing it?”

“I haven’t done laundry.” She shrugs. “Is this too much pasta?”

“Are you cooking for the entire building?” He asks, coming to stand beside her. He has a feeling she’s used two packets.

“No. Fuck off.” She laughs, shoving him. “I thought we could have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.”

“And for the rest of the year.” Bellamy teases.

Bellamy manages to not blatantly stare at Clarke for the rest of the night, but he does glance at her more often than usual. She looks good in his shirt and he can’t help imagining scenarios that would lead to her needing to wear it. Which is a creepy way to think about his best friend. He tries to avoid being creepy about her.

*

The next time it happens, he walks in on Clarke shoving way too many of her clothes into the washing machine, wearing his favourite hoodie and a pair of leggings. Once again he’s struck with fantasies of her pulling his shirt on after some frivolous activities. He shakes his head a little before clearing his throat.

“You’re clothes won’t wash properly if you put that many in the machine.” He tells her, smirking a little to try and disguise the blush that’s creeping up his cheeks. She doesn’t look up though.

“I have so many dirty clothes but.” She whines, pulling out two pairs of jeans and one of her own hoodies.

“That’s what happens when you literally only do your laundry once a month.” Bellamy deadpans, reaching to the top shelf and pulling down the laundry detergent for her.

“Thanks.” She mutters, ignoring his jibe and jabbing the start button on the machine.

They spend the day watching movies (pausing them occasionally so Clarke can start a new load of clothes), with Bellamy putting all his effort into focussing on the TV and not his attraction to Clarke. He’s really going to work on teaching her how to do her laundry more regularly. This can’t keep happening. He’s not strong enough.

Especially not when it gets late and she snuggles into his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. He presses a kiss to her hair because, again, he’s not strong enough for this.

Maybe moving in with his best friend that he’s in love with, was a bad idea.

*

“How can you, Mr if-we’re-not-ten-minutes-early-we’re-late, live with someone who’s literally never on time?” Octavia complains, looking longingly at the menu. It’s Sunday and he’s getting brunch with an assortment of their friends who aren’t too hungover from the night before. But, as usual, Clarke is running late.

“I usually just tell her we have to be wherever half an hour earlier than we really do.” Bellamy shrugs, checking his phone. She’s ten minutes late already, so she’ll be walking through the café door any minute.

“You actually do, don’t you?” Raven asks, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re so married.”

“We are not.” Bellamy grumbles. “How does that make us married?” It’s a stupid question, which he definitely shouldn’t have asked, because it just opens the floodgates of teasing.

“You dictate when you leave the house,” Raven begins, starting a list on her fingers, “you have a joint Netflix, you cook and clean together.”

“We live together. That’s normal.”

“You have a night scheduled so you can just ‘hang out.’” Murphy says, making quotation marks and rolling his eyes. “And it’s not even code for sex.”

“You argue you like you’ve married for a hundred years.” Miller adds, not looking up from his phone.

“You have more inside jokes then I have with her.” Raven adds. “And she was my friend first.”

“We live together.” Bellamy insists. He doesn’t need the reminder of how they act as though they’re married when he doesn’t get any of the benefits. Like holding her hand or kissing her in the morning. Or admitting that he’s in love with her.

“And apparently,” Octavia starts, a smirk on her face that can only be bad news, “she wears your clothes.”

Bellamy snaps his head around so fast that he’s going to have a sore neck in the morning. He finds Clarke standing in the doorway and he groans because Octavia is right. She’s wearing one of his flannel shirts, tucked into a denim skirt and seeing her in his clothes still makes his stomach swoop. He should be used to it by now.

“Nice shirt.” Raven grins, when Clarke drops into the only free chair at the table and immediately reaches for the coffee mug.

“Thanks.”

“I’ve seen it around somewhere.” Octavia muses, scrolling through her phone. “Oh yeah! On Bellamy, last Christmas. After I gave it to him.” She holds up her phone, which is displaying a picture of him in the same shirt, standing in front of the Christmas tree, grimacing at the camera.

“I haven’t done laundry.” Clarke shrugs, after looking at the photo. “And I was already late, so I just grabbed this on my way out.”

“Right.” Raven grins and Bellamy buries his face in the menu in front of his, as though he hadn’t decided what he wanted to eat ten minutes ago.

*

Bellamy normally leaves in the morning before Clarke gets out of bed so he only has to deal with grumpy, sleep mussed Clarke on weekends. But this week she’s starting early and he’s not prepared for it. He’s making coffees for the both of them when she stumbles out of her room in his shirt and no pants. It takes everything in him not to swear. It’s a lot to deal with but he manages to keep his tone normal when he offers her a mug.

“Thank you.” She finally says, ten minutes later when she’s drunk half her coffee and lifted her face off the dining table.

“Didn’t you do laundry this weekend?” He blurts out. He’d seen her cramming her clothes into the dryer and warned her about house fires. She’d given him the finger but draped some of her clothes over the dining chairs to dry. It was a little too domestic for his liking.

“I did.” She confirms, nodding her head in the direction of her room where he knows there is a pile of clean washing.

“Why are you still wearing my shirt?” He asks.

“Oh this one?” She says, glancing down as though only just remembering what she was wearing. “I washed it and it’s comfy to wear to bed.”

*

It’s getting to a point where Bellamy has to do something about his feelings for his roommate soon. Everybody knows that he’s in love with her and they’re all more than willing to tell him that she loves him back. And while she’s never done anything to confirm she’s into him, she’s never done anything to confirm she’s not either.

His sitting on the couch, musing this when she walks into the apartment from getting coffee with Raven and Octavia.

“How was your morning?” She calls, dropping to the floor to brush snow out of her hair and untying her boots.

“I did some of my paper.” He shrugs, spinning around to face her.

“That’s good. Much done? Do you want to watch a movie now?” She asks, unzipping her coat and throwing it over the back of the couch.

“Is that mine?” He asks. It’s a stupid question, he knows it his hoodie. He’d gotten it at the end of the soccer season the last year he’d played. It has his last name stitched across the bottom. And seeing her in it is too much.

“Obviously.” She grins.

“It’s my favourite.” He whines, tugging on the sleeve.

“It’s my favourite too.” She shrugs, pulling the sleeve out of his grip and stepping back from him. It’s a challenge if he ever saw one.

If he’d stopped to think about it for a second, he’d realise it’s probably not a good idea to fight her for a piece of clothing she’s already wearing.

But he doesn’t stop to think about it, instead jumping off the couch and chasing her into her room. She’s giggling and stepping back away from him, when her knees hit the bed and she stumbles back. Again, without conscious input from his brain, he dives forward and tickles her until she’s shrieking with laughter.

“Can’t steal all my clothes, Clarke.” He says, as she shoves at him gasping for breath. It’s at that moment that he realises the position they’re in. He’s basically lying on top of her with his hands on her waist, dipping under the hoodie where it has risen up. Both her hands are resting on his chest, where she too has frozen.

“Bell.” She whispers, looking at him through her lashes with definitely something more than friendship and all his resolve crumbles. He can’t live like this, not knowing if she feels the same way. So he surges forward, pressing his lips to hers and adjusting his weight so he’s not crushing her. She moans slightly, moving her hands from his chest to tangle in his hair and scratch her nails on his scalp.

“Clarke,” he whispers, when she pulls back. He wants to kiss her again but there is probably a reason she’d pulled back. A reason that should probably be addressed.

“Just so you know, I’m in love with you.” She tells him. He can see the determination in her eyes, as though she’s been fighting to say the words. But he can also see nerves, as though she has doubts that he feels the same way. 

“I’m in love with you too.” He says, a wave of relief flooding through him - both at hearing the words and finally saying them.

“Get back down here, then.” She tells him, tugging him back down to her. Her lips are soft and he gets lost in the slide of them. It’s Clarke who deepens the kiss, using her tongue to part his lips and he can’t help the moan that escapes him this time.

He runs his hands up her waist, underneath her – his – hoodie and can’t help but pull back to ask, “Can I have my hoodie back yet?”

“Not a chance.” She grins, letting him pull it over her head and throw it towards her ever-growing laundry pile.

*

After, they’re lying in bed wrapped in the sheets and each other and yeah, Bellamy likes seeing Clarke in his clothes, but he likes taking them off her more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stress vacuum. Clarke and I have that in common.  
> I never have clean clothes. Same as Clarke.  
> Clarke and I also both cook too much pasta.  
> Basically all of Clarke’s questionable habits are based on my life.
> 
> Hit me up on Tumblr because this hiatus is so close to being over and I am so excited! [Here <3](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments and kudos are the sunshine in my soul.


	21. There's no such thing as ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke + hold my hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did edit this, but I'm blind and can't find my glasses, so I assume I'll have missed a whole bunch of mistakes?
> 
> I can definitely write a Halloween AU in April. Fight me on it. 
> 
> For [@granger—danger!](http://granger%E2%80%94danger.tumblr.com/) <3

“Hey, Bellamy?” Clarke calls, dropping into the seat beside him. He’s got his laptop set up on the desk into front of him and is surrounded by history textbooks that make her brain hurt just looking at them.

“Hey, Clarke?” He mimics, taking his headphones out of his ears and pushing the lid of his laptop closed.

“What are you doing tonight?” She asks, throwing him her best smile and widening her eyes. If there is one thing Bellamy can’t resist, it’s puppy dog eyes and after years of friendship, Clarke is pretty sure she’s got them down.

“Not going to a stupid party with you.” He shrugs, looking up at her with a grin on his face; which coupled with the glasses he’s wearing is a lot to handle.

“Want to hang out though?” She asks, carefully because she knows that he won’t agree to what she’s asking if she asks him straight away. But she can probably convince him to do something and then tell him her plans once he’s already said yes.

“Yeah.” Bellamy decides, lifting the lid on his laptop and returning his attention to the screen. “Want to watch a movie or something?”

“Or something.” Clarke agrees, thankful that Bellamy isn’t looking at her because the look on her face and the gleam in her eyes would be a dead giveaway.

*

Clarke and Bellamy have been friends since her freshmen year of college, when their mutual friendships had led them to spending a lot of their free time at the same social events. Despite the rocky start, it had led to an easy friendship and Bellamy quickly becoming one of her favourite people. They hang out and study together at least three times a week and it’s not uncommon for her to get to her apartment and find him already waiting for her. He’s the one she goes to when she has a problem or needs advice or just doesn’t want to be alone.

The fact that she has a tiny crush on him is irrelevant.

It’s Halloween and originally Clarke had been trying to convince him to come to a party in her dorm. Bellamy is practically an old man though and had sworn on his and his sister’s life he wasn’t coming. But it’s her favourite holiday and she wants to do _something_ to celebrate.

She’d been complaining about it over Skype earlier in the week when Raven had suggested the ‘haunted house’ that she’d always wanted to explore. None of her friends had ever been game enough to go inside, but she knows Bellamy won’t back down if she challenges him to it. His ego is too big.

“And then once you’ve both run away screaming, you can have ‘thank-god-we’re-alive’ sex.” Raven had laughed. The teasing about her crush on Bellamy is nothing new but she still slams the lip of her laptop without saying goodbye. Raven would be home in a few weeks anyway and Clarke won’t have the satisfaction of hanging up on her like that for much longer.

The haunted house is really just an old estate on the outskirts of town that has been abandoned basically forever. It’s falling apart, shutters hanging off the windows, ivy growing up the walls and almost all the glass is smashed. She remembers Miller telling her and Wells the story of the man who went crazy and murdered the people who worked on the estate after the ghosts of his dead wife and children told him. Supposedly, he and the ghosts of those he killed still haunt the property.

She’d been six at the time and hadn’t slept for a week. But as she got older and more sceptical about the supernatural, the desire to explore the house and prove ghosts weren’t real got bigger. And what better night to do it than Halloween?

“Come on, Bell.” Clarke whines, hands on her hips. She’d explained to him what she’d wanted to that night and while Bellamy hadn’t grown up hearing the stories, he knew about the house and he had told her no. Just like she had expected. “You’re not scared are you?”

“You honestly want to spend the night looking around a house that could literally collapse?” He asks, focussing intently on the tomatoes he’s cutting.

“I want to prove to Miller that his dumb ghost story isn’t real.” Clarke says confidently, leaning in to snatch a piece of tomato of the chopping board. He’s cooking for her before they decide how they’re going to spend the night.

“Miller won’t listen anyway. He loves that story.” Bellamy mutters.

“Are you scared, Blake?” She asks, her voice teasing. He stops cutting and looks at her and she knows she has won. Bellamy never backs down from something like that. He won’t like that she thinks he’s scared.

“No.” He says through gritted teeth. “Fine. We’ll go to the stupid haunted house.”

“You’re the best.” She grins, impulsively kissing him on the cheek, before hopping onto the counter next to him.

*

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” Bellamy mumbles, hands shoved deeply into his coat pockets and tufts of hair sticking out from under his beanie. His cheeks are reddened from the cold and he’s jumpy. It’s endearing and she’s doing her best not to laugh at him.

“I can’t believe you’re scared.” She sings, she doesn’t actually think he’s afraid, just grumpy, but teasing him is her default setting. She sets forward and pushes the gate open. The metal is cold, even under her gloves and she can’t help but shiver. She’s _not_ scared either but she is full of nervous energy. She’s finally going inside after years of wanting to explore. The gate whines on its hinges and Bellamy jumps. Clarke can’t help the giggle that escapes her lips this time.

“I’m not scared.” He tells her stubbornly, following her up the overgrown garden path. She kicks some sticks out of the way and turns on the flashlight on her phone.

“Did you seriously only bring your phone for light?” Bellamy asks grumpily, taking one of his hands out of his pocket to produce his own phone.

“I’m not the organised one in this friendship.” She reminds him.

He doesn’t answer, setting his determined gaze on the steps leading to the front door. They’re old – obviously; and like the rest of the house they look as though one wrong step and they’ll fall in.

“Clarke.” Bellamy groans, as she steps forward, testing her weight on the first stair. “The wood is probably rotted.”

“Don’t be dumb.” Clarke says, turning around to grin at him. “The guy who lived here murdered all the staff. Their ghosts are maintaining the place.”

“Why do I even like you?” He mumbles, but scurries up the steps after her.

This time Clarke ignores him, instead inspecting the front. It’s slightly ajar, which is kind of weird because her mum is on the council and she knows for a fact that they keep this house locked to try and deter vandals. It doesn’t stop her pushing the door open and stepping inside though.

It’s exactly as Miller had described; white sheets covering the remaining furniture and a layer of dust covering everything else. Spider webs hang from the ceiling and the moonlight streaming in from the windows casts eerie shadows over everything.

Clarke starts toward the staircase in the middle of the room, shining her phone around her, trying to take everything in at once. The nervous energy she was feeling earlier is rapidly being replaced with excitement. She can’t wait to tell Miller she’s been inside the haunted house.

“Wait, Clarke!” Bellamy calls. She glances back over her shoulder to see him frozen in the doorway and for the first time she thinks that maybe he’s actually afraid. That maybe the reason he didn’t want to come here was not because he was a grumpy, old man that wanted to stay in.

“What?” She calls over her shoulder, because she’s almost positive he wouldn’t want her pointing it out. She suddenly feels guilty enough dragging him along. She doesn’t need to make it worse now.

“Just – hold on a sec. Don’t go up without me.” She waits patiently on the bottom step as he steps tentatively into the house, glancing around with wide eyes.

“Come on.” She grins, she does feel guilty for dragging him along but not enough that she wants to stop exploring now they’re here.

“You owe me like so much pizza for doing –” Bellamy begins, but stops when they hear a crash. “What the fuck was that?”

Clarke steps onto the landing but doesn’t move any further. She had never considered the possibility that there were real ghosts in the house but now her mind was running into overdrive. It could have been anything though, she reminds herself, probably the wind through one of the broken windows knocking something over.

“Just the wind.” Clarke shrugs, even though she’s not feeling as brave anymore. _There is no such thing as ghosts._ “Come on.”

He follows her onto the landing and she hears him groan as she starts towards one of the closed doors. She’s about to let them into one of what she assumes is the bedrooms when she hears another crash. She jumps this time, whirling around and trying to discern where it had come from.

“Can we just go?” Bellamy asks in the smallest voice she’s ever heard him use. She kind of wants to agree, but she also wants to know what’s causing the noise.

“There’s no such thing as ghosts.” She tells him firmly. “It’s coming from down here.” She’s not scared, but her heart is pounding in her chest.

“You don’t know that.” Bellamy mutters, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.

“Let’s just see what’s making the noise and we can go.” She promises.

“Clarke.” He groans, taking a step closer to her.

“Just – just hold my hand, Bellamy.” She says, holding her hand up and letting him entwine their fingers. She’s nervous enough that she doesn’t even think about the fact that they’re holding hands as they creep down the hall.

“There’s someone in there.” Bellamy groans, when she stops outside one of the doors. They can hear voices, but they can’t make out what they’re saying. “Clarke, let’s just go.” For a second, she thinks about listening to him. But curiosity gets the better of her and she pushes the door open with her free hand.

“What the fuck?” She groans to disguise her laugh. It’s not a ghost, like she had promised. It’s two boys lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, an empty container (with brownie crumbs) sitting between them.

“Who the fuck?” Jasper asks, sitting up and squinting. Clarke lowers the light her phone so he can see them.

“What are you guys doing here?” Monty asks cheerfully, propping himself onto his elbows. “I’d offer you a brownie. But we ate them.”

“Clearly.” Clarke grins. “What are you doing here?”

“Our roommates are having a party and we didn’t feel like sharing.” Jasper grins and then nods towards their still joined hands. “Romantic night out?”

Clarke flushes and drops Bellamy’s hand, suddenly very conscious of how close they are standing. “We were ghost hunting.”

“And now we’re leaving.” Bellamy says. “We’re going to watch a movie. Do you guys want to come? I’ll make you food.” Clarke ducks her head on a smile, because Bellamy is such a mother hen. Of course he wants to take them out of the haunted house and cook for them.

The boys agree, trailing behind them as Bellamy walks out of the house at a much quicker pace than strictly necessary. Clarke doesn’t say anything though. She’s teased him enough for one night.

“I kind of hate you still.” Bellamy tells her, once they’re on the footpath that leads back to his apartment.

“Nah, you don’t.” Clarke grins, nudging his shoulder with hers.

“I don’t.” He agrees. It sounds like a confession. Clarke is about to question it, when he reaches over and laces their fingers together again. He glances at her questioningly and she gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“What did you guys do to make all that noise?” Jasper suddenly asks, jogging to catch up to them and totally oblivious to moment they were just having.

“I – what?” Bellamy asks, turning away from Clarke to face Jasper.

“The crashing sound?” Monty asks. “We were getting ready to fight ghosts.”

“There’s no such thing.” Clarke tells them firmly. “It was just the wind.”

And this time, she’s trying to convince herself as much as she is them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are literally my life force! 
> 
> Tumblr is [heree](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/). Send me prompts! <3


	22. Fight for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy get into a fight. Bellamy gets a call from the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt from [@lucyannabel](http://lucyyannabel.tumblr.com/), the full prompt can be found [here!](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/post/172698324213/hi-pinkbelle-on-ao3-and-i-love-your-drabbles). I hope you like it! 
> 
> I edited this, but like the story of my life is, it's 4am, my glasses are missing so I can't see properly and I have had too much coffee.

“Fine!” Clarke shouts. “Just fucking forget it.”

“Just walk away, Clarke. That’s what you do best.” Bellamy shouts back, his stomach tying itself into tighter knots as she storms out of their apartment and slams the front door. He drops onto the couch, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands and lets out a shuddering breath.

They fight a lot, they always have. When they first met they shared an instant dislike for each other, arguing about literally everything. Over time they had grown to like each other, their arguing turning into flirty bickering that drove their friends crazy. Eventually though, they’d turned the bickering into a relationship.

They still fight, but now it’s to better each other. They argued about her dropping med school, it was better for her and what she wanted but she didn’t want to let her parents down (she hadn’t, they were proud of her anyway). They argued about him taking a step back from Octavia’s life and his relationship with his sister is so much better for it. The stand up for each other and stand by each other, but they’ll be the first to say something if they think the other is making the wrong choice.

But they’ve never fought like this. Never has it blown so out of control that they’ve screamed themselves hoarse at each other. Never have they said words just to make the other hurt. He doesn’t know how to fix this. Doesn’t even know if he can.

“Fuck.” He mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face and trying to calm his breathing and get control over his temper. He’s not just angry at Clarke, he’s mad at himself for not being able to back down. For hurting her. For not knowing when to stop. For letting her walk out the door. “Fuck.”

He scrambles off the couch, grabs his keys and steps into the hallway. She’s gone of course, but he’s got his phone to his ear calling her before he makes it to the elevator. It’s rung through to her voicemail by the time he gets to the ground floor and it disconnects after the first ring as he steps outside the building. When he tries to call for a third time, she’s turned her phone off.

He knows her normal go-to places when she needs to calm down. It’s what happens when you know someone as well as he does Clarke. He finds his feet working on their own accord to carry him to her favourite park while simultaneously calling Raven.

“What, Blake?” She asks, when she picks up on the third ring. Typical Raven.

“Have you heard from Clarke?” Bellamy asks, not bothering with a greeting.

“No.” The change of tone is evident. For him to be calling Raven, something must be wrong. “Is she okay?”

“We had a fight.” Bellamy says, trying to keep his voice calm. If this blows over to nothing, he doesn’t want Raven to know how stressed he is. That would be embarrassing and Clarke would probably tease him about it forever.

“What’s new?”

“I just don’t know where she is now.”

"Oh." Raven says. She's quiet for a moment and Bellamy can practically hear her thinking. "Do you need help looking for her?"

"No." Bellamy says, because when he finds her he's going to apologise. He doesn't need or want Raven around for that. "But if you hear from her, can you tell her that I'm looking for her?"

"Sure." Raven agrees. "It'll be fine, Bellamy."

He hangs up the phone without saying goodbye, because he can't bring himself to agree with her. How can she say that it's going to be fine? She didn't hear the words he said to Clarke, just to make her mad. She's not the one who had to listen to Clarke telling him everything he already knows about himself.

Yeah, he can't agree with Raven. Because it might not be fine at all.

*

The park that Clarke hangs out in is empty, except for a couple of kids who are throwing rocks at each other. She's not in the cafe she used to work at or in the library across from their apartment. She's still not answering her phone (though it is at least turned back on, which means she might have read the upwards of fifty messages he's sent her) and none of their friends have seen her.

It's getting late when he ends up back in the apartment and she's still not there. He finds himself pacing the living room and running his hands through his hair, trying to think of something to say that will get her to reply.

 _She probably just needs some space_ , a little voice in his head tells him. _She'll come home when she’s ready_.

By the time it gets to eight o’clock, he’s given up on cooking an apology meal and is pacing the apartment, reliving the argument.

_“It’s just some stupid hospital gala.” Clarke had told him, “Come and we’ll make snarky comments at the other guests.”_

_“Yeah, because that’s exactly what I want.” Bellamy had snapped back. He was in a bad mood already and the idea of spending a night with people that judge him on the way he grew up is far from appealing. “To be your arm candy for the night.”_

_“That’s not what you are.” Clarke said, looking at him in shock. “You know that’s not what you are to me.”_

_“Sure as hell feels that way.” Bellamy muttered, not looking up from the TV and not registering the genuine hurt on Clarke’s face. He was just grumpy, not trying to start a fight. “We only go to see your parents when you can show me off.”_

_“Because my parents live five hours away?” Clarke snapped, hands on her hips as she stepped in front of him._

Bellamy had shouted that he was sick of being used because he’s not what they expect at the fancy parties she drags him too. Clarke initially defended herself, but the more he fought her on it, the more she fought back, until suddenly they were fighting about money, about his sister, about how he thinks she is too good for him.

And then she had shouted for him to forget it and stalked out. He knows he fucked up. He didn’t mean most of what he had told her either. Sure, his favourite thing isn’t going to the parties with Clarke’s family, but he does it because he loves her. He’d long since accepted they came from different backgrounds and that didn’t affect their relationship now. And while Bellamy still thinks he’s not good enough for her, he knows she loves him and that is enough.

He’s opening the fridge just for something to do with his hands when his phone finally rings with the familiar tone that is Clarke’s ringtone.

“Clarke.” He breathes, after basically diving across the apartment to answer before the call had gone to voicemail.

“No.” An unfamiliar voice answers and Bellamy feels his stomach drop. “But she’s here. We’re at the hospital.”

“Is she okay?” Bellamy manages to get out. Why would she be at the hospital? He’s cradling the phone between his cheek and his shoulder and already trying to put both his shoes on at once. _This can’t be happening._

“Just get down here.” The voice says, just before the line goes dead.

Bellamy curses the whole way down the hall way and into the elevator, because what if something has happened to Clarke and the last thing they’d done was fight? What if the last words he gets to speak to her were telling her to walk away? How could he have been so stupid to let this happen?

He spends the drive to the hospital torturing himself, imagining scenarios that would land Clarke in the hospital. Car accidents, muggings, bar fights, his mind is in overdrive when he pulls into the car park and practically falls out of his car.

“Clarke Griffin?” He asks, as he steps up to the counter.

“Through there.” The bored looking receptionist says, waving her hand and pressing a button behind the counter that opens the door to the emergency room. He’s through the doors before they have even opened the whole way and jogging down the hall, glancing at each bed looking for. His shoulders sag in relief when he finally finds her, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

“Clarke.” He breathes, stepping into the room and dropping down beside the bed.

“I told you not to call him.” Clarke says, folding her arms stubbornly. One of her hands is wrapped in a bandage. Bellamy can’t help but to reach for her, wincing when she pulls away and shakes her head.

“I asked who to call and you just threw your phone at me.” Bellamy glances away from Clarke, noticing the other tall, blonde girl in the room. “And you didn’t give me an answer, so I called the number with fifteen hearts after it.”

“I don’t even like him fifteen hearts right now.” Clarke mutters to the girl in the corner. _She’s drunk,_ he realises. He really should have thought to check the bar.

“What happened?” Bellamy asks the other girl. Clarke seems to be fine, but she’s still in the emergency room. _Something_ must have happened.

“She hit a guy when he wouldn’t stop flirting with one of my customers.” She tells him, gesturing to Clarke’s hand. “And then she over balanced, tripped over a barstool and hit her head. We’re here for precaution. I’m Niylah, her bartender.”

“Bellamy.” He tells her, shaking Niylah’s outstretched hand. He’s not even surprised that Clarke got into a fight protecting someone from unwanted advances. Especially if she was drunk and still angry from their fight. “Hopefully still her boyfriend.”

“I wouldn’t be too worried.” Niylah says softly, “I have to get back and help close. Have you got her?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy agrees, “thanks for calling me.” Niylah nods at him, squeezes Clarke’s shoulder and then she’s gone.

“Clarke.” He says again, reaching for her uninjured hand. This time she lets him take it, which he takes as a good sign. He’s going to fix this. He loves her too much to let a stupid fight get in the way of their relationship. “Jesus, Clarke. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix it, Bellamy.” Clarke mutters, focusing intently on the bandage on her hand.

“It’s a start.” Bellamy says, using his other hand to gently angle her face so she’s looking at him. “And it’s the truth. I didn’t even mean anything I said really. I was being a dick and you don’t deserve that.”

“You know I don’t just take you places to show you off.” She mumbles, pouting a little. Bellamy still finds it adorable, even in their current situation. “I like having you there with me.”

“I know. God, I know.” Bellamy tells her, shaking his head at his own stupidity. Of course Clarke doesn’t think that of him. “I don’t even think that.”

“I was a dick too.” Clarke admits, her eyes softening. “I’m sorry.”

“I love you.” Bellamy whispers, leaning forward and pressing his head to hers. His chest wells with relief again, this time because he knows he’s forgiven and they’re going to be okay. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Clarke says, tilting her head to kiss him.

“Still going to forgive me when you’re sober?” Bellamy teases her, after pulling away far sooner than he’d like.

“Absolutely not.” Clarke grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some minor(major) deja vu writing some of this. But hey! 
> 
> Comments and kudos bring me life. Come hang out on tumblr, [here!](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/)  
> We get Bellarke back so soon and I am so excited!


	23. What, pray tell, the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke + platonic bed sharing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm out of control, it's nearly 6am and I haven't slept?
> 
> Special thanks to [Pascale](http://youleftme-clarke.tumblr.com/), for throwing ideas at my tired brain and basically giving me half of this ending and not letting me sleep until this was done? <3

“What, pray tell, the fuck?”

Clarke groans, rolling over to face her best friend standing in her bedroom doorway. She’s got her hands on her hips so Clarke assumes she’s in trouble for something. She’s probably running late.

“Wha’ time is it?” She mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

“Early,” Raven says moodily. “But you promised you’d come out with me today.”

“Right. Hiking. Fun,” Clarke mutters, throwing her legs off the side of the bed as she sits up.

“No,” the body beside her groans and a pair of big, arms wrap tightly around her waist. _Fuck._ Bellamy is in her bed.

“Bellamy,” Clarke hisses, leaning over the smack him. He groans again and buries his face in her hair.

“Too early,” he mumbles.

“This is not what it looks like,” Clarke groans, shoving at Bellamy until he lets her go and opens his eyes to glare at her. The change in his facial expressions would have been funny if they weren’t in such a messy situation. The second he sees Raven, he scrambles away from Clarke, which causes the blankets to drop down, revealing the fact he’s shirtless.

“Right,” Raven glares. “Get up. You have a lot to tell me.”

Clarke grumbles her way towards the bathroom, throwing a glance back and Bellamy. He’s got his arm over his face and is probably already most of the way back to sleep. In her bed. She’s only a lot jealous.

It’s not like they sleep together every night. Maybe a couple of nights a week? It had started months ago, when they had first started living together and Clarke could hear Bellamy watching Monsters Inc. at three in the morning. Clarke couldn’t sleep so she had let herself into his room, wrapped in her own blankets to watch the movie with him. They’d woken up wrapped in each other and immediately agreed that platonic sleep cuddling is a thing.

*

“So you share a bed several times a week?” Raven deadpans, leading the way up the _literal mountain_ she wants to hike up.

“We usually just fall asleep watching movies or something. Like last night,” Clarke tells her, already a little out of breath. She should really work on her fitness levels. They haven’t even been walking for five minutes.

“You were spooning when I got there this morning,” Raven says, turning back to Clarke and rolling her eyes. “Hurry up. I literally don’t have feeling in my leg and I’m doing better than you.”

“We can’t control what happens when we’re asleep,” Clarke snaps. “And maybe if we weren’t hiking up a _fucking_ mountain, I’d be able to keep up.”

“This is barely a hill, Clarke,” Raven says, rolling her eyes but stopping to wait for Clarke. “So you’re saying you platonically share a bed and cuddle, but you don’t have sex? You’re literal cuddle buddies?”

“Yes,” Clarke says stubbornly.

“That’s not normal, Clarkey.”

“What’s wrong with it? You and I used to share a bed.”

“We were teenagers. Having sleepovers. Not in love with each other,” Raven teases, delicately stepping over a root that Clarke almost trips over.

“Liar,” Clarke grins. “You were definitely in love with me.”

“Same as Bellamy is definitely in love with you.”

The worst part about it all, is that Raven isn’t completely wrong. Clarke’s a little into Bellamy. She has been since before they started sleeping in the same bed on a regular basis. And that really doesn’t help. She knows what it’s like to wake up with his arms around her, how he looks sleep mussed and is affectionate first thing in the morning. She knows that he sleep talks and that when he’s nervous he tosses and turns for hours unless she wraps her arms around him. Knowing all that about her roommate, makes it so much harder not to have a crush on him.

And it’s not just sleeping with him. It’s the little things he does for her. It’s hours of staring at the stars and naming constellations together. It’s movie nights and nights out with their friends. It’s making brownies together and throwing flour at each other. It’s arguing until they’re laughing again and studying until they can’t think straight and it’s falling asleep in each others bed. It’s everything about their relationship.

But she’s handling it though, because he doesn’t feel the same. There’s no way. He’s had ample opportunity to say something but he never has. And when she’s tried, he’s always changed the subject. So yeah, they’re just friends.

*

“Make it stop,” Clarke grumbles, trying to reach over Bellamy and smack his phone off the nightstand.

“Stop it.” Bellamy grumbles, grabbing her wrist with one hand and her phone in the other. He switches his phone off and pulls Clarke closer, nuzzling into her.

“Can we stay in bed?” She asks, already drifting off to sleep again. It’s Saturday morning and they don’t have plans for the day.

“We can definitely stay in bed.” Bellamy agrees, his voice still thick with sleep.

Less than an hour later, they’re woken by a pillow thrown at their faces.

“What the fuck?” Bellamy groans, rolling over. He swears and sits up, throwing the blankets over Clarke. She tries to ask what he’s doing but she’s only half conscious, so all that comes out is incomprehensible mumbling.

“Raven told me this was a thing but I didn’t believe even you guys were this stupid.” Miller mutters. When she registers they’re not alone, she sighs and sits up. They’d been sharing a bed for nearly six months and never had to explain it and now they’ve been caught twice in the space of two weeks.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Bellamy asks, glaring at Miller.

“I called you like fifteen times this morning but your phone was off,” Miller shrugs. “I want to go to the courts and shoot. Jackson and Lincoln are meeting us there.”

“Fine, but only because I want to beat Lincoln,” Bellamy mumbles, untangling his legs from Clarke’s.

“Not going to happen. Have you two finally sorted your shit out or are you _platonically_ sharing a bed?” Miller asks, as Bellamy digs through his draws for a change of clothes.

“It was cold last night,” Bellamy says simply.

“You two are something else,” Miller groans, shaking his head and walking out of the room.

“I liked it better when no one knew,” Clarke tells Bellamy matter of factly. “Our friends are arseholes.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Bellamy calls over his shoulder, as he leaves the room with his basketball shorts and jersey.

She huffs, snuggling back into Bellamy’s sheets. She has no reason to be out of bed today and she’s already annoyed. So what if she sleeps with Bellamy sometimes? It doesn’t mean anything. And even if it did, it’s their business. Not Raven’s or Miller’s or whoever else they’ve told.

“Don’t go back to sleep, Griffin.” Miller shouts, banging on the door less than a minute later. “Reyes is on her way over.”

*

“What are you going to do when one of you starts dating again?” Raven asks, after their third glass of wine. Bellamy had texted earlier saying ‘ _I’ve literally been kidnapped by Miller. I’m being held against my will. Please help. (I wont be home until late tonight, don’t wait up) x’_ and Raven had used the opportunity to try to get Clarke to admit the bed sharing thing was weird.

“So what?” Clarke asks, taking a sip from her glass and trying not to think about Bellamy with a girlfriend.

“Wouldn’t you think it was weird if your significant other was frequently sharing a bed with someone else?”

“I mean, I guess we’d have to stop,” Clarke shrugs, ignoring the pit in her stomach at the thought. If they have to stop, she’ll be fine with it. Their friendship doesn’t depend on them falling asleep together. It would suck, but they would be fine.

“And someone else would be sharing his bed,” Raven tells her.

“Fuck,” Clarke breathes. She can deal with not sleeping with Bellamy anymore, but someone else doing it? His arms around another girl, kissing her sleepily like she wishes he’d kiss her? Doing more than just watching a movie? She can’t handle that. “Fuck.”

“There it is,” Raven smirks, reaching over to top up Clarke’s glass. “There’s that realisation I’ve been waiting for.”

“Fuck, Raven,” Clarke groans, running a hand through her hair distractedly. “What am I going to do?”

“Tell him how you feel?” Raven suggests, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

“I’ve tried. I’ve tried to bring it up so many times,” Clarke groans, emptying her glass in one mouthful, “and he always changes the subject.”

“There has got to be some miscommunication there, Clarke,” Raven says. “Because platonic cuddling in bed is not a thing.”

“It’s not that simple, Rae,” Clarke sighs, leaning back into the couch.

*

Heedless to Raven’s advice, Clarke avoids Bellamy rather than telling him how she feels. She puts an effort into not getting home until he’s already gone to bed or staying at Raven’s or Harper’s or Luna’s house so they’re not left alone. She tells him she’s busy or tired and locks herself in her room.

She feels terrible about it, especially when Bellamy messages and asks if he’s done something wrong. And she misses _him._ Not just the bed sharing. But she needs to get over her crush before she does something stupid. Like tell him.

“Want to watch a movie?” Bellamy calls from his room as she pushes the front door of their apartment open. It’s after midnight and she really expected him to be asleep by now. She’s been avoiding him for two weeks, and he sounds so hopeful, that she gives in.

“Yeah,” She calls, kicking her shoes off at the door and slipping into her room to change. “Give me five minutes.”

She swaps her jeans for leggings and sits on her bed panicking for a second. The time away from Bellamy was supposed to ease her crush, not make it worse. How is she supposed to sit through a whole movie and act like she’s not in love with him?

**Clarke**

_You’ve ruined my life_

_I can’t even watch a movie with B anymore without thinking about what we’re going to do when he gets a girlfriend._

**Raven**

_Don’t then. Make yourself his girlfriend._

**Clarke**

_Ruined. My. Life._

**Raven**

_Un. Sub. Scribe._

“Raven is the worst friend I have,” Clarke tells Bellamy, a few minutes later as she’s climbing into his bed. Normally she’d lay beside him, but instead she settles against the wall at the foot of his bed.

“What are you doing all the way over there?” Bellamy asks, ignoring her jab at Raven and reaching for her with one of his hands.

“Watching a movie?” Clarke asks, trying to ignore the flipping in her stomach. She wants to take his hand and settle in beside him, but she’s _going_ to get over this crush.

“Come lay down,” Bellamy whines, hauling himself up and pulling her down. She squeals when she loses her balance and falls onto the bed beside him.

“What are you doing?” Her voice is an octave higher than it normally is and she hopes he doesn’t notice.

“Don’t want you all the way over there,” Bellamy tells her as he wraps his arms tightly around her waist. She tries to squirm out of his grip, but he’s stronger than her and he’s not relenting.

“Bell,” Clarke whines, tugging on his arms, “Let me go.”

“Nope,” he grins, snaking his arms around her tighter, “you have to stay here.”

“You’re a menace,” she giggles, as his fingers press into her sides, tickling her. She doubles her efforts at trying to wriggle away but he just tightens his grip again, pulling her impossibly closer. “Let me go!

“You love how annoying I am,” Bellamy teases (and it’s _not_ true, he’s a pain). “And I’m not letting you go.”

“Why?” Clarke groans, swatting at his arms but giving up on trying to pull free. It might be selfish, but she kind of likes being where she is.

“If you want me to let go, I will,” Bellamy says suddenly, relaxing his arms and giving her the chance to escape. She thinks about it for a moment, it would be easier – probably better too – if she moved back to where she was sitting. But she doesn’t want to. She likes being in his arms. And if she’s a glutton for punishment, so be it.

“Nah, this is okay,” she says softly, leaning against him. He’s quiet for a moment, but then she stills when she feels his lips press against her exposed shoulder, the barest hint of a kiss. And it’s a step past what even she can consider platonic. It’s sweet and loving and not something that should happen between friends. But Bellamy had made it clear that he didn’t return her feelings. “Platonic cuddling is a thing, right?”

But then Raven’s words echo in her head and she thinks that maybe he could.

She uses his relaxed arms to roll over and face him. It’s new, being this close. She could probably count the splattering of freckles across his face. But she doesn’t, focusing on his eyes instead. They’re looking at her with a softness that she’s not used to, but it makes her smile. Raven’s right. She has to tell him before he starts dating someone else. She’ll regret it if she doesn’t.

“Why didn’t you want me to stay over there?” Clarke whispers, because she’s too scared to just come out and say how she feels.

“Tell me why you wanted me to?” He whispers back just as softly, his fingers tracing patterns on her back. She shivers slightly, despite her best efforts not to.

“I asked you first,” Clarke shoots back. It’s childish, but if they’re not on the same page she wants to be able to act like she wasn’t about to confess her feelings.

“I miss you,” Bellamy says, awkwardly shrugging his shoulders. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“That’s your answer?” Clarke asks, a little surprised. She’d been expecting him to deflect the question or tease her. “That’s why you wouldn’t let me go?”

“Am I right?” He asks, “have you been avoiding me?”

“I can’t do this,” Clarke groans, pulling away from him again. He’s not giving her any indication of how he feels, other than the friendship she already knew they had. She knew avoiding him was unfair and it hasn’t helped either of them.

“Wait, Clarke,” Bellamy says, once she’s almost untangled herself. He tightens his arms around her again. “I didn’t want you all the way over there, because I really like being with you like this.”

“Like this, specifically?” Clarke asks, pulling one of her arms out of his embrace to gesture at their currently entwined state.

“Non-platonically,” he says, nodding his head as if it clarifies everything.

“So…” Clarke begins, her mind reeling with what she’s going to say to him. Before she says anything, Bellamy leans forward and presses his lips to hers. She freezes for a second, unable to comprehend that he’s the one kissing her. It doesn’t take long for her to catch up and kiss him back, pushing against him and pulling her fingers through his hair, like she’s wanted to do for so long.

“ _Non-_ platonically.” He says again, after he’s pulled away. “Clarke, I really like you.”

“Thank god.” She says, tugging him back down to kiss him again.

*

“Holy shit, Miller and Raven weren’t lying,” a horrified voice says. Clarke opens her eyes and sighs when she sees Octavia standing in Bellamy’s bedroom doorway.

“What are you doing here?” Clarke whispers, trying not to wake Bellamy. They’d stayed up much later than they originally planned.

“I can’t believe you two platonically share a bed and you can’t sort out your feelings for each other.” Octavia hisses back, making no move to get out of the doorway.

“S’not platonic, O.” Bellamy mumbles. “We’re naked, get out.”

“That’s disgusting and I’m never coming over again.” Octavia groans, covering her eyes and walking blindly towards the front door of the apartment. “Movie night at Miller’s at seven!”

“Worth it,” Bellamy whispers, tucking his face back into Clarke’s hair. It’s no different to how she’s woken up countless times, but knowing her feelings are returned makes it ten times better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't edit properly and I hate commas. As per usual, let me know if there are any glaring errors! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are the sunshine in my life! 
> 
> Come hang out of tumblr, my mess is [here](http://mynameisnotkatlyn.tumblr.com/)!


	24. Where have you been?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy gets back from space and Clarke is distant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this is. Assume Clarke knows about Bellamy and Echo breaking up and assume they have semi peace and assume Clarke built them all cabins. Based on [this](http://clarkegriffintitties.tumblr.com/post/174345675597/whatever-you-do-yall-do-not-i-repeat-do-not)  
> post.
> 
> This one has been on Tumblr for about a week. Sorry it took so long to upload here. <3

“Where’s Clarke?” Bellamy asks, dropping down beside Monty and accepting his rations from Echo. Things have been tentative between them since she called it off, but it’s getting better. They’re still friends. They’re still a family.

“She’s gone to bed already,” Raven says, throwing a concerned look back at Clarke’s cabin. “I think she’s avoiding me.”

“She’s not avoiding _you_ ,” Echo says, rolling her eyes slightly. Things haven’t been so good between Clarke and Echo, but there is a begrudging respect between the two. It helps that Madi is fascinated by the history Echo has been teaching her. They’re not friends, but they could be.

“Who is she avoiding?” Bellamy asks at the same time it dawns on him. _Clarke is avoiding him._ A lot is suddenly falling into place. She’s often suddenly really busy when he walks into the room, she’ll take any job that puts her away from him or the others and she’s taken to going to bed before he even gets to sit down for the day. It’s so unlike her and he doesn’t understand why.

It must show on his face because Murphy is smirking at him and Emori is rolling her eyes at Harper, as if they’re in on some joke he’s not.

“Now he gets it.”

“I’ve got to – go,” Bellamy mutters, standing up and passing his plate to Madi. “You good here?”

“I’m fine,” she says, with a roll of her eyes, which is so reminiscent of a twelve-year-old Octavia that it’s painful for a second. But he doesn’t dwell on that. He has to find out why is his best friend is ignoring him.

The door of her cabin isn’t latched shut and he can see she has some light on, probably waiting up for Madi. He knocks gently before pushing the door open and letting himself in. She’s sitting on her bed, a piece of charcoal between her fingers but she’s not drawing. She glances up at him and stiffens, which hurts. What did he do to upset her?

“Hey Clarke,” he says quietly. “Can I come in?”

“I guess,” she sighs, gesturing for him to come in. He’s never been in Clarke’s cabin before and he’s struck by how lived in it looks. She has possessions, books and drawings and a clay sculpture that he’s pretty sure Madi had to have made. It makes his heart ache that she spent six years making them all a place to live and waiting for them to come home. She and Madi were alone for so long.

“You turned in early,” he says, dropping down beside her. “I didn’t see you at dinner.”

“I’m just tired,” she shrugs, her eyes focussed on the door. “I wanted to get some rest before I go out tomorrow.”

“I’ve hardly seen you since we got back,” Bellamy says, because now he thinks she’s been avoiding him, he has to know.

“I’ve been busy. I’ve just had a lot to do,” she says, still not looking at him. It’s basically the confirmation he needed. She’s avoiding him. _His best friend is avoiding him._

“There are things we could do together,” Bellamy says softly, “I miss you.” It’s risky, he knows. He hasn’t really had time to think about his feelings for Clarke since they got home. He loved her so much six years ago, she was everything to him – the head to his heart. But he they thought she had died and he’d come to terms with that, he moved on. And yet somehow, here she is. The more he thinks about it, the more it feels like a second chance. And sitting with her now, he feels like telling her everything is the right choice.

“Me too,” Clarke confesses, twirling the piece of charcoal between her fingers.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Bellamy asks gently. He doesn’t want to fight with her and he doesn’t want to push it if she’s not ready to talk to him. But he wants to know why.

“I’m not,” she says and it’s a lot like the stubborn Clarke he remembers from six years ago.

“Sure as hell seems that way,” Bellamy mutters, trying not to sound bitter but not quite managing.

“Bellamy, I –” Clarke sighs. “I spoke to you every day for the last six years. I didn’t survive alone. I had Madi, but I also had you. I needed you. I relied on that. And now you’re back and it’s not the same and so I’m protecting myself and –”

“Clarke,” he interrupts softly, gently moving his hand to her chin and using it to angle her face so she’s looking at him. Her blues eyes are sparkling with tears and when one falls, he moves his hand to the side of her face and runs a thumb along her cheekbone to catch it. “I need you too. I never once even imagined you could be alive but you are. You’re here. You’re really here.”

“I am,” she breathes, leaning into his touch and closing her eyes.

“If this is a second chance, I’m not going to waste it,” he says, leaning in before he even realises it.

“I don’t want to waste it either,” she says, tilting her head back.

He leans forward, closing the distance between them and _finally_ kissing Clarke. He smiles when her arms wrap around his neck and she tilts her head back further. It’s the first time they’ve kissed and it’s not how he ever imagined it, but Clarke being warm and solid and real beside him is so much better. She’s alive, she’s real, and she’s here.

“You don’t have to avoid me, Clarke,” he tells her when they pull away, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are the sunshine in my life! 
> 
> Raven Reyes of sunshine is my tumblr <3

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are the happiness in my heart and the sunshine in my soul!
> 
>    
> Feel free to send me prompts on Tumblr and I'll try and do them all! [Writing Is Ruining My Life, here](http://writing-is-ruining-my-life.tumblr.com/) or [My main mess, here](http://raven-reyes-of-sunshine.tumblr.com/html/).


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